Debatable Nickname

The first day of school comes around and the teacher asks "What do you want me to call you?" What would you want to be called?

{Two friends sit in a classroom facing the audience pretending to copy down notes}

Teacher: Ok, kids, I am going to hand you an index card and I want you to write down names that you would prefer me to call you. And then names of what you don’t want to be called. {Passes out index cards}

Dakota: {laughs shortly} I know what I want to be called.

Sam: {Looks at him before he starts writing on index card} I want to be called Sammi.

Teacher: {Comes from behind} Sorry, we already have a Sammi in this class.

Sam: {looks down and mumbles} Fudgicles.

Dakota: Don’t beat yourself up. Just call yourself Sam, Samuel, Sam the Man, or Samantha. {laughs again}

Sam: {Fakes laugh} Very funny, dickhead. What are you going to call yourself?

Dakota: Well I want thinking of Dakota, Brownies, Isac, or Donkey Kong

Sam: {Laughs} Brownies? I think I might just call you DK, man.

Dakota: What’s so funny about Brownies?

Sam: I don’t know, I just don’t think it fits you.

Dakota: The hell it doesn’t. I am the Brownie KING!

Sam: So because you can make pre-made brownies, you should be called ‘Brownies’?

Dakota: HEY! Making Pre-made is harder than it looks. It takes a lot of concentration and focus.

Sam: Please, you have the attention span of a rock… what are you doing now? {Looks at Dakota’s paper}

Dakota: What? I’m drawing a stickfigure jumping off a plane that’s about to get hit with a comet that has another stickfigure on it.

Sam: Ugh, this just proves my point.

Dakota: What point?

Sam: That you have no attention span at all.

Dakota: I do too. I just… don’t use it.

Sam: Sure. Whatever you say.

Dakota: Come on, man. Why DK?

Sam: Why Brownies? I mean if you’re going to name yourself after a snack then call yourself ‘Twinkies’!

Dakota: What? NO! That doesn’t even make sense!

Sam: I suits you. I’m going to call you Twinkies for now on. {smiles}

Dakota: It so does not. Do I look amazingly delicious on the inside but soft and horrible tasting on the outside?

{Sam looks at him}

Dakota: Don’t answer that. Besides, you’re insulting me. You’re pretty much calling me a ‘dick’ and I’m not THAT much of a prick.

Sam: Sure you aren’t.

Dakota: At least Brownies are 1) delicious 2) delicious 3) good on inside AND out. And most importantly they’re DELICIOUS…and easy to make.

Sam: I told you!

Dakota: So?

Sam: Fine, whatever, Brownies.

Dakota: Thank you. {Smiles victoriously}

{Teacher walks behind them and takes index cards}

Teacher: Dakota… Brownies, Isac, donkey Kong… You know Brownies doesn’t seem to suit you.

Dakota: {Mumbles and throws pen on tables} Son of a b***h.

 

                                END SCENE

Reviews

[Chidoriflower]

HA! King of Brownies. Totally. :D Really funny.

[Jazique]

Errors: Fudgecies are actually spelled "Fudgesicles", when Dakota is talking capitalize the "L" in {laugh again}, when you write "stickfigures" write a space between them saying "stick figures", when Sam says "Sure. whatever you say." put a "," or ";" between Sure and whatever, "Dakota: Well I want thinking of Dakota, Brownies, Isac, or Donkey Kong" sentence replace 'want' with "was" and "Isac as two "s's" in it, and capitalize "Smile" when Sam says " I suits you" and get rid of the "s" after suits and make "I' an "It" instead. Now as a reader you did a good job that was really entertaining and funny with such a simple conversation it made me smile. Well done keep on writing improving your techniques and expanding your creativity.

[SilentDreamer]

Yay, a story that isn't depressing. So many poems, stories, books on this site are depressing and sad and ... annoying. Even though I write sad stuff. Wow, I just made fun of myself. Anyways. :) Great job, this is really good. Hilarious. Love the ending.

[Closedown]

Wouldn't it be cool if my teacher asked what we wanted to call ourselves? So many options... I laughed.

[Norma M Sutton]

*grin . . . I take it you're not familiar with the story about the brownies and the shoemaker lol Cute.

[Closed Account]

I love this! But, do you really want to be called brownies?
Anyways, this is hilarious. Great job!(: