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Night time water

Night time water

A Poem by Wannabewriter16

Our bodies were shivering as the moon shined on us.
We held each other closely feeling our bodys shiver in sequence.
We was surrounded by water, out in the lake.
The thunder and rain chrashed around us and I felt your lips on mine.
The feelings we have for each other were so real and intense in that moment.
The memories and moments we are making now will be my ultimate favorite in the future to tell our children.

© 2018 Wannabewriter16

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I thought you had something going until the phrase :"The feelings we have for each other were so real, so intense."

My feeling is it should have ended there. Of course that is my opinion. Sometimes it's difficult to know when to stop.

Keep going - Dave

Posted 2 Years Ago

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1 Review
Added on July 11, 2018
Last Updated on July 11, 2018
Tags: Poetry, poem, life, teen, love, space, world




Hello my name is Bonnie and I'm 18 years old and I love to write. more..