Somewhere in Between

A recent piece, one of my favorites

Life's filthy cradle comforts no man

Beautiful boughs of death do shine

Withering leaves live in love's hand

The sobbing shadow's tears are mine



Stars of night are all alone

Their companions feel nothing

And so are they sorrow prone

Their cold light misses something



Bleeding moon moans at midnight

As it's woes give suck to the wind

They blow, blind to mortal sight

Bringing chills to those who sinned



Erie airs echo wailing whispers

Wearing wreaths with winter's wrath

Freezing the conscience of sinners

Oblivious to their destructive path



Creation seems to reflect a void

Like an empty sea under a bland day

Like darkness over the lost horizon

Like golden light smeared with grey



My heart, the ready writer

Spectates the miracles of fantasy

And the wonders of perceived reality

To pen it's most rueful tune



"Shimmer vivacity's obscure reality

That I may fade to sleep

Burnish the dream's austerity

That I may exist somewhere in between"

Author's Note

Let me know what you think and please share! :)

Reviews

[TawnyBlueStar]

I agree with Chris on your rhyme scheme needing to be more consistent but
I liked it :)
I like the mixure of nature like the "bleeding moon" "Stars of night are all alone
" and "Erie airs echo wailing whispers". Adds something to your poem that makes it beautiful and expressive :D :D
awesome poem
100 :D

[KAREN]

Awesome write, enjoyed you word useage. The flow is also good, love the last stanza!

[stormwarden]

Very good.

[Two Hearted Wolf]

You have a way with words. Well done.

[Adora.xo]

This piece echoes with a little bit of Neruda. It's VERY well done.I must say, I envy your diction :P Great choice of words!

~Adora

[Lily Mae]

Very enjoyable read .. I loved the flow and the places it took my mind..xx

[joshua deathdealer]

This is incredibly refreshing. I love your choice of words and the pictures painted with them. Excellent work.

[Tim]

You have an excellent use of diction. Your words flow and paint images on the readers mind with great phrases. I also like the way you surprised us with the break from rhyme in the sixth stanza which keeps it from becoming predictable. A great piece of writing.

100/100

[K.C. Zbryk]

In some way i think the switch in the rhyme scheme only shows a physical side of the decay described in the piece. I loved all of the imagry contained in this piece and th word play was brilliant. In the end i think that was a very well thought out and composed piece of writing. I cant wait to read more of your work

[Cassie Fraga]

WOW!!! I am just... in aaawwwhh right now... awesome word play!!

[Raven Starhawk]

Like a great wine I drink this one sip at a time and savor its flavor.