Heart of Courage

Dear Kylie,

 

I'm disappearing. And there is nothing that can make it stop. Not my letters, nor your realization of what I had been writing; not my determination, nor my weak will. 

 

I've tried sleeping them off, all my thoughts of you. But I now understand that sleeping only brought me closer to my own perish.

 

I'm disappearing, Kylie. And so is all the furniture that surrounds me; the yellow lamp under which I used to write, my half hearted pen and my notebook.

 

There is no returning. And there will be no exceptions. My toes have already begun to seem like the fog that touches the sea.

 

My darkness reminds me of all the time wasted and all the time to which I can never return. She was kind enough to leave something behind. My darkness has allowed only courage to remain by my side.

 

The courage to believe in myself, the courage to see that I will not be beautiful in some days and that it is okay.

 

I need to be brave, my friend. I need to listen more, speak less and walk in the park more often.

 

And since my days are numbered, I will need to make sure I have told everyone I know that I am thankful and that I will not forget.

 

I will have to learn a few more songs to play on the piano. I remember how your spirit glowed when you watched my fingers waltz on the white and black keys.

 

I will have to admit that my parents are sometimes right. And that they want to see me safe and happy.

 

I will have to translate some of my favorite sayings and short stories I've loved as a child.

 

I will have to take those art lessons I've wanted to learn since last year.

 

I will have to visit my sick aunt, the one who calls me a princess and is eager to sit with me despite the aching in her spine and legs.

 

I will have to learn a few recipes; I'm very creative when it comes to chicken and pasta. Had we stayed together a bit longer, I would have cooked for you.

 

I will have to train for that meditation workshop I had been passionate about since the beginning of spring.

 

I will have to follow your lead, Kylie; to open my heart and allow it to spill upon everything.

 

It doesn't have to sound very morbid, but I genuinely have no idea when or how I can return to Earth.

 

I'm disappearing, Kylie.  Piece by piece. And all that is left for me is a small prayer. 

 

And the courage to fall into the sky.

 

Sincerely,

 

~Rain.

Reviews

[StarNinja]

Mmmm... now I want chicken pasta ;)
It takes a while after tragedy, whether it be heartbreak or the fantastic mundaneness of death, to pick the pieces of your self and put them back together. Though you never get them all... always that bit of grit that gets stuck in the carpet. But these all sound like great things to get into and do and try and live. To courage!