Prevailing Sound

Then my head was curled on a sofa and you gently caressed my hair..

But when you burst into flames, it became too bright and too hot to speak. What kind of fire doesn't calm after a burger and a nice walk?

Winter came, but I didn't see any snowflakes. You transformed into a frozen lake and it was slippery and cold and when the ice cracked, I fell into the depths with all the shards...

I fell out of the Earth, beyond sunlight and gravity. 

For years, I hugged my knees and floated in the orbit. For years I had sulked and I had screamed and I had waited to be consoled. At times I sniffed silently and the sound echoed across the planets and stars.

Then I was curled on the sofa and my head was on your lap as you gently caressed my hair. The clock ticked and daylight neared. When the bell rang, I had to keep running, but the students were a stampede. Shouts and laughter and mockery. I found myself on the ground, left behind a parade of untidy children. Muddy shoe stamps had stained my report card, but I could still see the grades clearly. In the living room, I gave you the paper. A slap across my face had scared all the birds which had taken that tree for a home. They scattered up and away like white confetti.

Then I could see you grow smaller and tinier...Until I could only see one dot in a field of green as the air balloon only took me further into the blue and indigo sky that poured over the mountains.

You had been saying something about death and dangerous and insane and a bad idea. I couldn't hear you anymore.

The sound of loneliness in the wind, gentle and kind, had prevailed over all other sounds, washing the burned cigarettes in my chest.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Firstly, that picture is lovely, suggests such a glorious story ahead...

but whilst i found many of the phrases voiced so colourfully, there were also dark twists.. a slap on the face.. the burned cigarettes in..

Seems that balloon could suggest an escape.. but then.. there's such an air of mystery in your post.. am not at all sure.. Will need to visit again.. and will.

[YouoweYoupay]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my story, Emma.

[emmajoy]

Even though i turned away, i'll come back to your poem.. see what more i can see.. if that's okay with you. '

[barleygirl]

The way this is written, it's tempting to think of this narrator as speaking to some lover-type entity. But as the reading went along, the identity of the recipient became more & more nebulous. I slowly began to read this as a message to LIFE itself . . . the way we start out as young adults thinking this or that, but all our assumptions get crunched & crumbled becuz life is never what you think it will be. Then "curled up on sofa w/ head in lap" -- from this point onward I read it as being God or whatever source one goes to for inner sustenance. That entire paragraph is sparkling writing, but especially this: "Muddy shoe stamps had stained my report card, but I could still see the grades clearly." -- This is sheer brilliance in metaphor! Then toward the end: "I couldn't hear you anymore" reminds me of how sometimes we can't connect with the source, which prompts us to develop self-reliance. Thanks for a long thoughtful review on my poem just now, which is why I was digging thru your archives to find something to review & I landed on this lovely gem! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Wondering Mind]

lovely is your awareness.. beautifully touching are your implications..
I am humbled my young friend

[StarNinja]

I thought I was so clever figuring out that this was about a hot air balloon... until I saw the picture. Like Icarus, my hubris took me too close to the Sun and I fell back to Earth.
Great story, vivid imagery, emotional. Well crafted!

[Barbara Walker]

I was speechless after I read this and so pleased, I had to read it again. The contrast between the peaceful little watercolor artwork and the words that follow?-Brilliant! The imagery in this piece is outstanding. I want to put this in my favorites and I don't have many of those. That, in itself, is the best review I can convey.

[Coyote Poetry]

Many thoughts and memories in the poetry. Type of poetry need to be read more than once. I liked the places and the deep thoughts my friend. Thank you for sharing the amazing story.
Coyote

[YouoweYoupay]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my story, Coyote.

~Aysha

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.