A Story by YouoweYoupay

This coldness... it's been here long enough..



The snow fell...the wind blew...and the whole world a long peaceful winter hibernation. The whole world slept... apart from one, lonely, tired girl...


The poor soul walked in the deep white snow...between the stiff bare trees and amidst the cold noon blizzard against the hasrsh, stinging winds...


She walked...and as she walked she sobbed...stopping every once in a give the sour tears time to dry on

their own...leaving traces of shining frost on her pale face...

"Child!" the shivering bare trunks of the white woods spoke to her..."Where to? and why now? this merciless cold...and sweeping storm?"

The girl would stop to look around with nothing to say... and continue walking...striving to move her weak feet in the deep snow...

"This coldness it's been here long enough..." she would repeat these words...and they would faintly echo through the white woods...between the naked trees...and across glossy frozen lakes...and into the caves where the bears rest...


The girl struggled foreward until she had reached a strangely blooming bush of violet-blue roses...breathing heavily...and barely able to take another step she approached a single rose and touched its dead petals with the numb fingers of her hands...

Her heart beat faster...and she breathed less easily. Shatters of her crystal frozen tears scatterd on the bushes... she panted grasping her heart in pain...she dropped limply on the bed of snow...shuddering...twitching...coughing... and  hissing the words she had always wanted to say

"The sun...its...bright light and warm heat..." her purple-red lips gradually congealed...and her head relaxed on the angelic, white banket...

"That poor, lonely child...She thought she could end this winter..." the bare trees sadly moarned the quiet fading of the young girl under the more fell covering the world...putting it to a deeper slumber...


A longer time of rest and silence. A longer time of dark, peaceful stillness...and sorrow...and fatally, cold beauty...

© 2010 YouoweYoupay

Author's Note

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Very beautiful piece.... I would recommend putting this through spellcheck, and ridding of the ellipses. Ellipses always seem to make a story's diction weaker, making everything smooth together, but also make everything seem like an afterthought.

Overall though, nice write.


Posted 10 Years Ago

its too poetic to be a story! its too descriptive... but lord! this got to me very strong imagery... you have to work on your diction though!
but the description is strong!

Posted 10 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on May 26, 2010
Last Updated on May 26, 2010
Tags: snow, winter, story, coldness



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