The Madam

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Madam

 

 

Sometimes I'd cleave to an arched sword in one hand, its edges tarnished by the melancholy of time. I'd hold it close to the left piece of my chest.

 

Sometimes I'd glower at a beautiful outline mocking my patience, the light aura around her tangling my concepts, to make me mistake her soft whisper and artificial warmth for the sun.

 

At first glance, nothing compliments her smile like a violet hat, the autumn sunrays, and a floral white cup of scented green tea. 

 

Her voice is welcoming, but her forest green eyes threaten to drop what is in her palm, a precious insignia of delicate glass veins streamed with the blood of those I love.

 

My arched sword aimed at her enticing, half-hearted but ill-intentioned grin, sometimes I'd sprint forward, forcing a deep roar like that of a scarred warrior, racing to shatter her false reflection, her well-spun cocoon, for closed doors frighten me, tease my curiosity of what lies behind.

 

Barely dodging the venom shooting from the fine strings of her long pineapple-yellow hair the blade swings, slashing the unseen arms circling in the air to reach into my raw core.

 

Her sadness and fear envelope me, trap me and congeal the vital breath in crest of my lungs.

 

My eyelids jump open with a gasp vanishing with the silence of the night, the spot where I have been resting dappled with a lukewarm shadow.

 

Sometimes I'd meet her in my dreams. We would greet one another with conflicting beliefs.

Colors.

Hers clean white, and mine dimmed silver.

 

Sometimes I'd meet her in my dreams.

Clashing in a battle where one is meant to fall.

But colors are not always what they seem,

Their false shades victoriously rinsed by the rain after all.

Author's Note

This can symbolize many things, including the eternal and internal battle of the righteous and the treacherous. What do you think?

The Madam is a main character in a fantasy, young adult book I'm currently working on, check it out when you've got the time, also, follow the Madam on Facebook, Myspace, or Twitter. No the last sentence was kind of a joke. lol

Link: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Wella-D./630215/

Reviews

[patricia]

This was excellent. awesome. that fifth stanza was outstanding. Thankyou.

[kaylynnmelody♥]

absoutely incredible. i gave you an 100/100. you never cease to amaze me.

[My Fair Lady]

Wella.. your amazing mind is beyond words. This is again incredible.

[Mauricio Montoya]

You have a unique style and a way with words in all your works, I like how this comes together. Excellent write.

[PaperDoll]

Great stuff.

"Her voice is welcoming, but her forest green eyes threaten to drop what is in her palm". I love this line. It's brilliant, and has a lyrical flow.

"Sometimes I'd meet her in my dreams. We would greet one another with conflicting beliefs." This line too.

Well done with this piece. It is so full of meaning.

[.shalynn.009.]

Very symbolic. Nothing is really specifically explained, which makes this much more universal than if the "I" and "she" were actual people. I had to read through it a few times to really get the full effect, and it was far from tedious to read it more than once. Because you described it all in metaphorical ways, mostly through colors, this allowed the reader to create their own picture, and their own meaning. You also have really great diction, a colorful and luscious vocabukary, with really ups the level of all of your writing. It's one of the things I like most about reading your stuff.

I like that you didn't use a rhyme scheme, instead choosing poetic prose. It gave you a lot more freedom in your rhythm and choice of words and line/stanza length, which really worked for this.

Another really interesting and unique write from you. Thank you for the RR and keep writing.

[Zane]

This was very detailed. I like that alot. You don't see it often enough in poetry anymore. The reader could understand the story perfectly. This is very important. I love it. It's dark, and it leaves you to guess what it could mean. Great job.

[Brette Medb]

I absolutely loved the last two lines. There is is so much conflict in dreams and in the real world, yet nothing is truly black and white and nothing is always as it seems. You did a great job describing all those things in this poem. Wonderful imagery.

B

[Omar Fendri]

beautifully written and the description is flawless, creative and ingenious.
nothing to add, it's excellent .

[Arabdha]

this is amazing..vivid articulate descriptions..the last line is brilliant-
"But colors are not always what they seem,
Their false shades victoriously rinsed by the rain after all"
adding this to my library :)