Did it Hurt?

Did it Hurt?

A Story by Enigma

I wasn’t very surprised to see everyone standing around the open casket, eyes all swollen and red with tears streaming down their cheeks.Their ghostly pale lips quivering, and heavy hearts thumping. It was a funeral after all, and things were supposed to be sad and depressive(unless you’re a gypsy of course). I was all dressed in a dark sleek suit with an expensive watch I could never afford wrapped around my wrist, and a bleak red tie fastened a little too tight around my throat. I never understood why we as human beings felt the need to dress the dead as if they were hours away from a wedding or red carpet affair. My eyelids were nearly glued on the open casket, and my hands were neatly folded just above my waistline  as I watched friends and family blindly walk past me. My skin was room temperature, although I already had nervous goose bumps traveling up my arms. Something about today was off. Everybody was mingling around casually, some with drinks in their hands, others with tissues clotted and crumbled. It was a disgusting sight to say the least, I didn’t like attending funerals because they were nothing but grief and remembrance of the good-- no matter how bad that person could have been in their lifetime.

They hadn’t died in a pathetic way, it was just another victim of a heart attack I can’t say I myself was upset about the death, because truth be told it was one of the greatest reliefs I had the liberty of experiencing. I could hear the soft tune of the piano in the distance -which I figured my aunt was dabbling at- and the sweet murmurs of friends and family as they awaited the beginning of the ceremony. My body, was the only body in the room that day that wasn’t taken back by the sight of the dead. “Did it hurt?” a little girl asked me. Flinching in confusion I gave me a brief smile and asked her to run along, but she refused to budge. “Did it hurt sir?” she said again. I stared down calmly feeling my tongue click against the back of my teeth. “Honey, did what hurt?” I asked curiously. “Dying.” she said without any sort of hesitance. Her eyes were a clear green, and her hair was long and brown. Who is this girl? I looked around quickly, nearly knocking over the plant I was resting by. I started to ask the people who walked by if they knew who the girls mother was, but I was completely ignored. Giving a grimace I wasn’t entirely shocked. I kept to myself and ignored the funeral all together so it makes sense for them to not want to speak to me. She tugged at my sleeve and gave me a weary look of impatience. “So, did it hurt when you died?” her tone was more of a whisper. I leaned down and met her at eye level. “What are you talking about girl?” I spat angrily. She shrugged and pointed to the casket. My tongue started to dry as I swallowed, going to loosen my tie. “You’re dead... Are you a ghost..? ” she crossed her arms in the way irritated little girls do. My eyes starting to twitch I slowly grabbed ahold of my tie once again and started to adjust it.  

“Come on!” she groaned, grabbing me by the hand. She used all her force to tug me in the direction of the dead body. My forehead started to collect tiny beads of sweat as I stared heavily. My body felt like a giant lump of coal, struggling to roll against hard concrete. Each leg wobbly and heavy every time I took another step. No one seemed to notice our little display, or my panicking motions of resistance. “Go on! Look inside! Don’t be such a baby!” she growled. Walking behind me she shoved her arms against my lower back and heaved me forwards hard enough to nearly throw me into the casket. The room was silent this time, everyone looking at me, their drinks all still in hand. I could still hear several sniffles and mumbles but I  tried not to think about the reputation I was giving myself. Giving the girl another frantic look of help she scowled and pointed forwards. I took a step up so I could fully gaze down into the bed for the dead, and there I saw just another dead man, eyes shut and body stiffened.

“Gotcha.” she smiled.

© 2014 Enigma

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Wow, very well written! It flowed nicely and the story telling was impeccable!
If I could offer any advice here, it would be to split up the dialogue. Whens someone speaks, separate it from the whole paragraph, so it doesn't confuse the readers nor doesn't it all run together.
Other than that, this was a good read and I'm happy I stumbled on it! Well done :)

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Added on July 15, 2014
Last Updated on July 15, 2014
Tags: Thriller, suspense short story, Did it hurt, idek, new, random, Enigma, death, funeral, casket, girl




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