Surrender

Sometimes I write poems that are really just for me--messages to myself. This is one of them. ...Will I ever be able to change the cycle?

Sometimes, the lines start to blur
And you find yourself standing
on a nondescript platform.
You know you can't stay anywhere,
At least not for long.
But you know neither what lies to your right,
Nor what's on the left.
You know you've been there before;
You always take the same step--
The step that doesn't really get you anywhere you haven't been.
But it feels safe to take it, right?
That non-step. That indecision.
That surrender.
It's scary to take control and you know
That the opposite step, the unusual step,
May be something not meant for your path,
But it's better than this perpetuation
Of the cycle you know could break you
And leave you without the little you had
Holding you together. But that step,
It could break you too.
Bones are broken every day.
The promises made to our future, snapping within us.
I'd still do it.
Anything is better than that non-step. That indecision.
The Surrender.