The Thunderstorm In My Heart

      

         

  You know that deep, smoky shade of violet that the clouds take on right before a thunderstorm?  That color perfectly describes the way my heart feels.  Deep, dark, and ominous, with so many indescribable emotions intertwined in the midst of it all.  Thick shadows stretch themselves out on the ground behind me as the bright sun is snuffed out by the dark wall of clouds.      

           

You know that sensation of standing in stormy winds?  I let it blow my hair back, feeling the wind’s fingers wrap around my body.  Its tendrils grasp me and tighten, taking my breath away.  It almost feels as if the storm is trying to push me out of its way, tossing me aside as the storm rolls closer.  My heart feels unwanted.  Even the storm tries to cast me aside. 

You know how all the animals hush and flee as the storm rolls in?  Birds swiftly glide through the air to find a safe haven in the trees.  Squirrels cease their noisy chattering and retreat into their cozy nests to wait out the storm.  I am the only breathing thing left standing in the storm’s path.  My heart feels small and lonely.  Utterly and forever alone. 

            

You know the way the wind makes the trees bend and sway?  Somehow, the stoic oak tree feels vulnerable and weak, quietly bearing the wind’s beating.  Branches snap off the strong tree and fly through the air like spears.  The unbridled gusts flip every leaf upside down, revealing their pale green bellies.  Just like those leaves, my heart feels turned upside down, the most sensitive parts of me exposed to the daggers twisted into my soul.

You know the chilly air that the storm pushes in?  It’s cool and refreshing when it first whisps past my face, but it brings something else along too…a sense of trepidation.  The cold breeze runs chills down my arms and makes the falling mist feel like ice shards on my skin.  I shudder as anxiety washes over me, causing my heart to tremble at its unstable core.  It threatens to shatter if it’s shaken one more time. 

You know that deep roll of thunder?  I hear it rumble in the distance, but as it moves closer, I can feel it.  The vibrations start at my feet, then travel up my legs and into my upper body.  The thunderous vibrations reverberate inside my chest, causing a hollow sensation to well up in me.  Maybe my chest feels hollow because my heart was blasted into smithereens.  Who knew that Cupid’s little arrow could be as destructive as a grenade laced with shrapnel.

You know that sharp flash in the sky?  The blinding fork licks its way down from the dark sky, stretching towards the ground.  The terrifying flashes drive families inside their cozy little homes.  Me on the other hand?  I stand tall in the wind, arms outstretched, daring the storm to strike me.  Electrical tremors surge through my body, but I don’t care anymore.  Let the crackling lightening streak closer.  Let it try to match the flashes of anger in my eyes.

You know how the distant pouring rain blurs the horizon?  The treetops and the charcoal gray clouds run together like a watercolor painting.  I stand barefoot in the grass watching the misty wall wash closer towards me.  The light sprinkle turns into a drizzling rain, the droplets mixing with the salty trails running down my cheeks.  The storm cannot hold itself back for another second.  Torrents of rain rush down, completely blurring the world around me.  My heart feels dull and muddled, just like the gray haziness surrounding me. 

            

You know how the sun tries to push the storm aside?  Rays of sunshine struggle to pierce through the gray ceiling and heavy rain, but eventually the sun gives up and wearily melts down into the ground.  It can’t win this battle, just like how my heart can’t overcome this storm on its own.  I sink down into the wet grass, tucking my knees to my chest.  The thunderstorm rages on inside my heart.

Reviews

[mads]

Vivid imagery that speaks to my soul. I am captivated by this story's presence and look forward to reading more of your work.

[kirksmurf]

WildFire_19; Not really sure where if anywhere you were going with this. But I could feel the turmoil of the writer. I can on occasion read stories like this, but they must be leading up to something lighter. This is why I can't take writing seriously as it brings on this kind of emotional baggage. I have been through a lot in 69 yrs., and some may have brought on this kind of feeling and still do from time to time. Please don't be held captive by this. Your descriptions are very vivid and don't know for sure if they are your words are from a thesaurus. But they are way upfront and personal. Good luck in your writing career!!

[Christoph]

This is, just about, the loneliest feeling.

Beautiful.

[Chris]

Many survive the intensity of a storm but some DO break and shatter. We don't know which we as individuals are until we suddenly DO know ...and by then - well, but that would be telling.