Cliff

Helpless and out of control...

My hands are tied,
I'm bound and gagged.
My legs were heavy,
My eyes, they sagged.

Full of fear and doubt,
They sat me down on a cliff.
My friend stands at the edge,
Our bodies, they go stiff

Her face is taut, her eyes are dim
Her hair billows in the breeze.
She takes a small step forward,
Her breathing, full of ease.

My heart skips a beat
I cry out "Don't jump!"
She laughs and says "For what?
I know I belong in a dump!"

"No you dont!" I scream,
"You deserve to live and fight!"
She whispers, "Sorry, dear,
But it's time for my flight."

She steps off of the cliff,
And my eyes fill with tears.
Good lord, she's actually gone,
She's fulfilled my worst fears.

Reviews

[Careline]

Wow. I REALLY liked this piece! Great job, Will!

[Will]

Thanks Careline

[Trigorin]

Not bad. You have a good topic and you use some good imagery in this. I think some of the dialogue near the end is a little cliched and that you could definitely rework it a bit, but that's a minor issue, to be sure. Good work.

[Will]

I was pretty unsure about the dialogue, but I felt like i really wanted it in there, so I'll tweak it and see what happens. Thanks for reading.

[Rita L. Sev]

Will, you have really captured that helpless feeling of watching a friend destroy himself and being powerless to help. Sad, and very real. Well done.

[Will]

Exactly the feeling I wanted to convey. Thanks, Rita.