Birds of a Feather

Title is not a play on the idiom

A map of stars across her face,
brown freckles everywhere.
I could gaze into that map forever,
matching the shimmer of her hair.

Her eyes of sparkling crystal,
they twinkle when she grins.
Sometimes she looks right through ya,
I think she can see your sins.

She always looks confused,
but always is alert.
She's sarcastic, yet never snide,
to some, she just seems curt.

To me, she is just beautiful,
in every single way.
Nothing that you'll ever say
would make my opinion sway.

An Irish mountain breeze, she is,
fresh, strong, and cool.
A quick look at her anytime
is enough to make me drool.

So maybe there will come a day,
when we will be together.
Staring at the stars above,
two birds of a feather.

Reviews

[richom]

Very well written, Will. If it is nonfiction and you have an actual girl in mind, she should be impressed by it. (But before showing it, I'd eliminate the third stanza. She might not like that.) If it is fiction, though, I'd leave everything just as it is.

[Will]

I debated with myself over that third stanza for I don't even know how long. I agree, if she ever sees it, I'll omit that. Thanks, Rich.

[Rita L. Sev]

Now this is a from the heart ode - very nice, Will. It seems like you took your time on this - the flow and rhyme are great.

An Irish mountain breeze, she is...

A truly lovely image... Well penned, young Poet!

[Will]

It's funny you say that, because I actually labored over the rhyme scheme like all hell, and I won't even tell you how many times changes were made and how many hours were spent with that last stanza... Thank you, Rita. Always appreciated :)

[Baby Ricochet]

If she can see your sins you need to commit more of them with her

[Will]

LOL. Thanks, Ric

[Lily Mae]

Very nice.. I hope the star crossed lovers will meet also. I am a terrible romantic so... :) Beautifully penned want for that day..xo

[Will]

Thank you, Lily. I appreciate it :)