If You Can Find It In Your Heart

A particularly lengthy poem concerning the crippling shame that comes with hurting the things you love the most.

Wave your weapon and swiftly take this weary head 
For the crimes which I’ve so callously cast onto you, there is no place for me beyond one so wrought with shame 
To saunter me into a state so deservedly dead 
In those crushing moments I came forward with what was certainly the worst in me 
Spat forth, a toxic venom that has seared my tongue and now scars my lips 
Blinding the the only love of mine with a poison she could never possibly 
deserve 
  
The shroud that misguided my mind has been shed from me 
With burning eyes I look into the light of my sin: 
As you have brought me to see as you have seen 
The sorry sight of a boy’s aimless anger, 
As the first and only victim as it poured forth onto thee 
  
Even now I am not sure if I could give a worthy apology 
Take not this flimsy babble, I will give my blood instead 
To affirm that this new air of change from me is far from temporary 
In my shame I see my suffering as the only way which I could repay you- even thank you 
Thank you, for keeping true to the light in you, 
Even as everything I said I would never be came forth to spite you 
  
I step forward now 
To carve into this love my newest vow 
A command to I, to conquer myself 
Through this inward battle I I seek to earn my place beside you in your blessed keep 
And the bolstering of this indomitable bond is that for us to reap