Beating Heart

Something I wrote enjoying the peace in a hut the middle of the woods

The whistle of a raindrop, 

Amongst the silence of sleep, 

The rustle of dwindling supplies, 

Amongst the wandering of lost minds, 

Lilted laughter under shadowed eyes, 

The gift of children flying free, 

Long tendrils of hair dancing in wind, 

The softest of glances amongst the rest, 

Warmth of bodies fueling the fiery pit, 

Incuring whole smiles, and relaxed moods, 

A gaggle of young amusing the old, 

With lopsided dreams, and hopeful looks, 

All hearts beating in time, a melody, 

Unspoken, but not unheard, 

Many an array of differences,

All working together in organized chaos, 

Puns upon puns, unable to refrain, 

The smallest of smiles on the faces that matter, 

A steady heartbeat gathering speed, 

Welcoming the nature of the future unknown, 

The clutter of chaotic noise, 

Comparing to the peace of passing time, 

All hearts beatinbg in time, complete and pure, 

In time to the whistles of raindrops.

Reviews

[Mirror]

The whistle of a raindrop,
Amongst the silence of sleep,
The rustle of dwindling supplies,
Amongst the wandering of lost minds,

And;

The clutter of chaotic noise,
Comparing to the peace of passing time,
All hearts beatinbg in time, complete and pure,
In time to the whistles of raindrops.


Great metaphors and wonderful combination of poetic elements

[drew garner]

My only constructive criticism is don't change anything. This is my favorite poem I have read on this site so far. ...also please check out my writing (just because I am interested in your criticism). thank you for reading this.

[WillaDanvers]

Thank you so much! :D