My Sweet

I don't know, my fingers just started dancing on the keyboard and then I had a story of a boy and an angel.

She wasn’t the girl for you. I tried to tell you all those months ago but you didn’t want to listen to me, you thought that I was just playing games with you. You were interested in here, and how could she not feel the same way?

You told me about the way the light danced in her eyes, or that little glint, as you called it. If you were there, she was probably laughing. You asked me if that was a sign, I said not always, but you didn’t listen.

I never wanted to say ‘I told you so’, not after you began to question your footsteps. Walking down the hall checking to see if you were going to feel the shards in your heart again. I don’t know how to explain it all to you.

She wasn’t the girl for you, but you chased her down anyway. She kept saying no when you asked her out, but you promised that you would change her mind. Don’t you know that a no means no, don’t go chasing after someone that wants to play games.

No means no. She didn’t want you, but she couldn’t keep saying no. You kept chasing her and it broke her heart, so she tried for you. At one point she wanted you, but she knew she couldn’t keep you.

You were talking about forever, and she kept smiling. Holding your hand and nodding but never really agreeing. You couldn’t see what was right in front of you because you didn’t want to hear her say no again, even though you knew it was coming.

Your friends thought she was great, but even they could tell that it was destined to end. They knew that she wasn’t going to keep you around, she had other things to do. She was destined for greater things, that’s what Jack told you.

Destined for greater things. That hurt you. Were you not good enough for her?

You don’t smile when she walks by, instead you hang your head low and try to ignore that lump in your throat. It’s not anger that you feel, not annoyance, but grief.

Something great died that day, and there was nothing you could do to save it. No matter how hard you tried, how much you begged or cried, there was nothing left to save. She had made up her mind, and she had to do what was best for her.

How could she tell you that she loved you, but she hated herself?

How could she tell you that she had so many things to deal with, that she couldn’t share with you because she needed to walk this bit alone. She was always meant to walk it alone, but you refused to let her walk by for that one second.

You grabbed her hand and had a slow dance with her, but at the end of the night, she wasn’t yours to go home with. She wasn’t yours to call yours forever.

She didn’t mean to cause you pain, she didn’t mean to break your heart.

If she could change anything, she would. She would walk down another road so you wouldn’t see her, not because she regrets loving you, but because she is grieving too. She wasn’t expecting you to love her so fiercely, but what could she do when she was only meant to be here for a second?

A star in the midnight sky, burning bright for a second before disappearing, wondering if you had really seen her at all. A flower in a field of grass, hiding behind the grass but blooming for a second, not meant to last forever.

She wasn’t meant to be your forever.

You shouldn’t have chased her down.

She had her own fights to fight, demons to chase, dreams to live, she wasn’t supposed to fall in love.

You weren’t meant to turn around, and see the girl of your dreams.

But I guess, some paths are meant to cross, and some paths are meant to change. Yours changed the second you saw her, but meeting you only solidified her fate. Do you believe in fate?

Fate is the reason she had to walk away, tears falling and heart breaking, because she had other things she had to do. She couldn’t love you the way you love her, not yet, not today.

She has lives to save, demons to slay, pictures to paint. Like the say, she is destined for better things.

You couldn’t see that the day that she walked away, and you couldn’t see it the day you saw her picture in the news. You couldn’t believe that the world was that unfair, but what you don’t realise, what nobody told you, she saved 5 lives that day.

Her heart went to a kid who needed a transplant in the next town over. Her kidney to someone who had four days left on the clock, someone who had things to discover that would change the world we know today. Her liver to someone that drank their first one to death, but their kids couldn’t lose their father, not yet, not today. She gave them all a second chance.

That’s what they meant by she had greater things to do. What is greater than saving a life.

She didn’t know she would die, nobody does. But she knew she was destined for great things. This was her great thing. This is what she was born for.

If she had stayed by your side, that little girl would be dead. Those kids would be left without a father, the world would have stayed the same. Dying. Slowly.

Maybe your love would have survived forever, maybe it wouldn’t. Now we will never know.

She didn’t see it coming, your love, or the car. She was smiling, thinking of you, her last thought. You taught her how to love, and she found a way to love herself. She might have even been on her way back to you, but I won’t tell you that.

 

She will always be in your memory, living strong, eyes dancing in the rain under hooded eyes. Her love for you will dance among the stars, shining even if you can’t see them, even if you walk away, even if you forget. For the day you turned 

around, you fell in love with an angel.

And now you have an angel watching over you, loving you from afar.