Accommodating Everyone Else

I was doing really well until the depression came back. Looks like the poems might start back up again. Joys.

Always last in the line of priority,

Putting side thoughts and dreams,

Accommodating the lifestyles of others,

Waiting evermore in the shadows alone,

 

Masking those emotions constantly,

In fear of finding out the truth,

Lies whispered into her nervous system,

Brain deceiving every constant waking belief,

 

Failure is waiting just around the corner,

Don’t continue down that corridor,

Change lanes right NOW, move on,

Stop pretending like you’re going to succeed,

 

Nobody really knows the real soul in her,

Always being told something wasn’t real,

Realising everyone will be too busy for truth,

She changes lanes and finds her own path,

 

Walking a narrow-blackened path at dusk,

Wondering when it will be her time,

Will she every get priority boarding in time,

Before the sand runs out and it’s too late,

 

Fighting to keep her place in line,

Losing when she hears those whispered lies,

Why would anyone ever accept or love her,

When her brain knew it wasn’t going to be worth it.

Author's Note

I don't even know anymore. Why do people always choose themselves when I'm always putting everyone else first? Am I doing life wrong?

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Glad to see you are writing again, but sorry it's at the cost of the black dog. This poem shows a lot of introspection and insight. You are aware you are a pleaser who always puts others first, but I don't see that you know why you repeatedly engage in this self sabotaging behavior. I would guess you came up in a religion that put a high priority on sacrifice. Nice people always put others first. That's fine, but it can easily morph into a belief you have to sacrifice to get love. On some level, I think you are really angry, but can't admit that to yourself. Thus the depression.

[WillaDanvers]

Wow. You really hit the nail on the head with this one. Took me a while to realise I am a pleaser, so might take a while longer to understand the whole self-sabotaging thing and to remedy that without feeling guilt. Always got to work on something though, right?

[Lux in Tenebris]

Hey, I haven't been on this account/site since like 2017 and it randomly popped into my head so I got back into it, out of nothing more than passing curiosity I thought I'd check if you were still writing and it made me so happy to see something recent. I'm sorry for your loss but keep going and I hope you keep nurturing this talent you've always had.
Your works are always inspiring :) x