Forgetting to remember

I walked to the edge,

it was dark, long of wounded Sundays,

ice breaks on salted freedoms

and I looked down,

finding my feet teetering

to a melody stuck in my brain,

mimicking some train thing

coasting down the line

tracking these tears

and Smokey comes to mind

 

Shadows reach from wintered over trees

scratching the jagged rock face

as I shout "Jack!" and listen to the echo

Jack...Jack...Jack, coming from the

empty bottle with peeling black label

I hold clenched in my right hand

and I throw it as far as I can,

waiting for the sound of it hitting ground...

it never comes

 

And I think, that is it then,

there is no bottom when you're on top

only a darkness that consumes

a spinning mind forgetting to remember

the good times that rolled

even if it was illegal,

and the statues never said a word to the pigeons

 

When another voice speaks, from behind fallen shades

and mini blind emotions,

"Not again," she sighs

in sugar coated sweet words that sound familiar

in a distant sort of way. "Please come home, I love you"

and it clicks, who I am, who I was, who I want to be...

 

Love...love...love, echoes as I play a broken string

on a captain crunch guitar... and it makes sense

(but it won't in the morning)

I hope you still love me then

 

Author's Note

Not drunk...not yet. :)

Reviews

[Ana B.]

sigh....you nailed in the end my friend. brilliant as always!

[willweb]

Thank you Ana. I truly appreciate your kind words to me. I am thrilled you liked this one.

[Dannyisawriter]

Good job. IT was beautiful writing :)

[willweb]

Thanks a bunch for stopping by and reading and leaving a nice comment

[anne]

everything about it is so beautiful.......:)

[willweb]

Thank you so much Anne

[R Smith]

love that reference to Smokey, love the whole thing, Will its a work of wonder and i'm sure she'll still love you :)

[willweb]

Thank so much Richard. This was a fun one to write and try to figure out wear I was going. All I had to do was follow the tracks of my tears. :)

[Matching Socks]

You can lose sight of who you are very easily under such conditions.
Very good writing Will.

[willweb]

Thank you so much Ana. Yes you can and many do I suppose.

[Einstein Noodle]

better with each read for me .. there is a common man feel in this that works well .. nothing flowery about this kind of loneliness and hitting the edge ... bottle of Jack in hand .. but what is most appealing is the one who loves and waits at home .. willing to comfort and hang in .. this scene plays out for me in Any Northern County Ireland .. it sounds so Irish to me ;)
E.

[willweb]

Wow, "sounds so Irish to me" now that is a huge compliment. Thank you so very much my friend.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Such a sad tale that is unfortunately a place many of us have been. great expression in this will it sounds so folorn and I simply adore the line 'and the statues never said a word to the pigeons' so evokative!

[willweb]

Thanks John. I really appreciate your nice comments.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Very beautiful, Will. This is absolutely one of your best. Glad you shared this. :) Rudi

[willweb]

Thank you so much Rudi for your kind words.

[MomzillaNC]

Wow! It's like the tortured last days of some Rock icon.

[willweb]

I hadn't thought of that, but now that you mentioned it, I suppose it could be. Thanks so very much.

[MomzillaNC]

yw :)

[Confuser]

Wow, this is great writing! Absolutely brilliant. I love it. DO YOU KNOW HOW GREAT HIS IS? I can see a change in your writing, it's like you let the words flow so beautifully from one line to the next: stuck in my brain, mimicking some train thing, coasting down the line, tracking these tears, and Smokey comes to mind. It's as if you REALLY took your time or I'm looking much more carefully, also the action and imagery was beautiful, you know everyone going to be frighted he's dead - train ran him over. You built this great momentum. I cannot copy and paste, with chrome, heckfire, but and not bad though you end it will your sentiments of love. Wow, great. Poetry 101 Tag: guess we're still doing that.

[willweb]

Thanks so much Dale. I am glad you found this one so enticing. You comments are humbling.

[Confuser]

Quite true....appreciate it. Thanks. Dale