RESTORING THE MAN CODE

RESTORING THE MAN CODE

When growing up in North Texas during the 1960s our father passed down to us sons the same code his own father taught him, the same code many fathers in our neighborhood, in their own variations, passed down to their sons. It was called The Man Code by our father and it covered a number of subjects, from personal conduct to how men, younger or older, should respect women.

The code strongly emphasized the moral path men should always take and how important honesty and integrity were for men to embrace. And like his own father, our grandfather, he believed a handshake agreement should be honored as if it were a written contract. He also told us that men did not knowingly lie and all men, younger or older, made mistakes and when they did they should admit it. And no one should take credit for something they hadn’t themselves actually done.

And the code went beyond personal conduct to include those employed to running a business or holding public office. And should you be employed by someone else you should always do the best job you could. And a business owner should likewise make a product to be proud of, pay fair wages and turn a fair profit. And if businessmen or politicians lie often they did not deserve the respect real men deserved. And in the case of a public official who enough voters put their trust in to elect, any support for such a dishonest public official should stop and that official should never be elected again. Such public officials were unworthy of the office they held.

And the code covered how we should treat others in general. Examples like: never park in a space reserved for handicap parking, never make fun of the physically or mentally handicapped, never bully anyone and never get into a physical fight unless forced into it to protect yourself or others and always judge someone else by their character and actions, not by their skin color or their religious beliefs. The code covered things like offering to help others in need when we could, respecting the knowledge science and medicine offered and respecting older people. And our father reminded us to respect older people because one day we will be among the older people. 

As to women, younger or older, he told us when we became interested in girls (several of my older brothers already were) they deserved respect because they were our equal and often were as smart, if not smarter, than many men. And when we started dating if a girl said no she meant no and we had no moral right to assume otherwise. And if alcohol were involved as we got older, because he knew we would try it sooner or later, that no man, certainly not a real man, would ever take advantage of a girl who was drunk or near drunk. The code forbid it. It also forbit hitting a woman even if you thought she deserved it. As to flirting, if some girl wasn’t interested in us she simply wasn’t interested in us. If she were she would let us know.

There were a few exceptions to The Man Code. Like if we knew someone who was dying and had little time left to live, if was certainly understandable and acceptable to try to lift their spirits by telling them they’ll recover.  Our father considered doing this as a justified fib. Also, learning to be tactful when direct questions are asked you will spare many feelings being hurt. 

The reason why I’m calling this short essay Restoring The Man Code is because in the world we live in today far too many people are lying as if it were the normal thing to do, still supporting constant liars in business or politics and refusing to accept personal responsibilities for their own actions.

Reviews

[Amber Stone]

Thank u so much, Sir. Willys Watson, for reminding us All (men and women) about. What a gentle breeze of Hope could this world be if suddenly The Man Code became true there and worldwide!!! I hope the Code also include "... a real man never feels the need for abandoning his home, his woman and his family; then what kind of man could be that, the one that avoid his duties as home legit defender and provider? But I guess the writer already included it, 'cause that can be also read between these timely lines. I bow, Sir. Thanks so much.

[bookishmuggle]

Your father was a good man. This has such an important message and everyone should read it.

[CC]

I'll be honest...I was a bit hesitant to read this after reading the title. I wasn't sure what to expect!

However, I was pleasantly surprised. You'd think such a code wouldn't be so terribly difficult for so many to understand and live their life by. Possibly better called a "human" code or "mankind" code though, as it sounds like good advice for anyone.

If you wanted to keep it a statement about men specifically, I would maybe include a paragraph or two about experiences or interactions that are unique to men, or men-men interactions. Perhaps take a deeper dive into what it means to be a man (or what it should mean) to be a man in this country.

A thoughtful read, regardless! Thanks for your words.

[Willys Watson]

Thank you for your kind words and keen suggestions and I'll considering editing this. As is written this is based on my memories of what was passed down to me over 50 years ago.

[Willys Watson]

This was posted as a first draft and is going through an edit. Still, I always welcome sincere, honest reviews of anything I post on this site and only ask that the reviewer avoid insults (as was the case here by someone who couldn't seem to express himself with the insults). Points can be made without insults and I would never insult your creative efforts.