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I never forgot how dry this place was. I took my shoes off and felt the barren dirt of my past against my feet. I could remember the hour, the minute, and if I really looked back I could probably remember the second. I was only a few hundred feet away from the memories that I tried to block for the majority of my life; I couldn't explain why I came here. This was the last place I ever wanted to be, but I was there. I was walking through the mud, running my fingers through the blankets of moss that hung from the treelimbs. Everything was just how I remembered it. They said I shouldn't have returned to the place that left me with such horrible scars, but I had to. The nightmares stopped about five years after I left, but they were starting up again. I knew I had to come back, it was only a matter of time.


My legs forced me down the road that seemed so long. It was just how I remembered it. I learned to survive when I was young and never got to enjoy life . Everything I did had to be thought through or I would endure punishment. Horrible punishments...


 I left during summer and never looked back. The excruciating pain of a beating hot sun had nothing on a day in my house.



 I was born in Clarkwillow, Louisiana in 1939. My father left when I was two; my mother said he was a good man. She also said that she would stop drinking.


I knew better than to trust a drunk.

© 2011

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Author's Note

I'm not really sure whether this is considered a "preface", but if anyone can tell me what exactly the word is for what this chapter, please let me know. Thank you, and if you like this book so far, please continue :)

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This was the good beginning to the book. I really liked this. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 12 Years Ago

Aww yay!!! You used my suggestions! :D So I looked at this line again:
"I was walking through the mud and touching the moss."
Idk... something about it still seems off. Maybe something like "I walked through the mud, running my fingers through the (adj.) moss."
(I don't know what moss feels like, so I can't think of an adj. Maybe you can?)
Idk, just a suggestion. It's fine the other way, I just think it feels... off.

Posted 12 Years Ago

I think that this was a bit repetitive, and the word choice could be more interesting. Also, remember to keep in tense. Otherwise, I think that this could be an interesting piece, an interesting opening. Well done.

Posted 12 Years Ago

I was captured by the first line because of how evenly and pleasantly morose it came about.

However, I couldn't understand this line here, "I was only a few hundred feet away from my memories that I have tried to block away for the majority of my life; I can't explain why I came here." Did Belle approach her old home or something rekindling her memories? If so, it could be better described or mention that she sees the house when she says "everything" because I don't know what place she's talking about. I don't know what's rekindling her memories. Because as the reader, reading it, I inferred the preface to be focused on setting and repressed feelings of such a place with a brutal history.

Also in the second paragraph, sentence two, is kind of awkward because of the repetion between child and childhood. You say Belle never had a childhood twice.

Otherwise, good beginning, and Belle is indeed an intersting character to get to know.

Posted 12 Years Ago

A very good beginning. I like Belle already.

Posted 13 Years Ago

Great opening!

Posted 13 Years Ago

This is written so well! You're really talented! :D

Posted 13 Years Ago

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7 Reviews
Added on April 19, 2010
Last Updated on May 7, 2011


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