Leaving Home

The sunlight warm had cast a charm ,
on my mind today
I could hear aloud and clear ,
please don't go away .

 

I looked around but none I found ,
save the oldest garden tree ,
it seemed somehow every outstretched bough ,
was waving back at me.

 

It pained my heart but I had to start ,
I opened the gate to go ,
every step I took I turned to look ,
my pace so very slow .

 

As I waved goodbye I heard a sigh ,
as wind blew through the grass
A helpless voice ,"I have no choice ,
you may pass you may pass".

 

Reviews

[Deviant Works]

Utterly enchanting and beautiful... I am struck speechless by the emotions in this poem. My eyes filled with tears as I came to the very end, which I must say was closed absolutely superbly. In truth, I was just blown away by the last two lines, without a doubt they left a gut-wrenching impact. There is no place like home. Nowhere better to be but in the one place that holds many of your fondest of memories. I love this piece, Abhijit. Amazingly written.

[LadyNaida]

Wow, it's never hard to go when you must. But leaving certain things is a new beginning to something better. Beautiful!

[Jen]

The words flowed right off my tongue. Very nice.

[Tinasha LaRayé]

wow, simple, yet sooooo FULL of real emotions about transition and new beginnings. i truly love how you outlined the experience and allowed the reader to take the journey with the person, instead of commenting about it. It truly has a stronger impact this way....leaves open for more interpretation and room to relate. Thanks for sharing this great piece!

[Stammers]

I love the last line, I'm not overly into formal style, but this was gorgeous.

[The Analog Kid]

An excellent theme...leaving home. I really found the last line effective with the repetition.

[Rikkevi Rue]

love this. have encountered it several times in different places. The best poetry is simple and profound, touches us deep within our souls and has that timeless echo... it could have been from any era, but all recognize it as classic

[Amit Parmessur]

Excellent. Particular the second stanza.

[Omar Fendri]

creative and artistic; simple and doubtlessly beautiful
emotions are very blatant and the last stana is a perfection
i like it

[Natalie.]

It has been a long time since a poem has actually make my heart beat a little faster. And in this instance, it's especially intriguing that you managed that, due to the calm nature of the piece. However, you have incorporated just the right amount of extra "oomph" by the almost staccato-like function of the second and fourth lines of each stanza. Those lines prevented the poem from being too slow. Well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

"it seemed somehow every outstretched bough ,
was waving back at me."
When I left for war in 1991. I saw my Michigan forest. I pray to return to her. The poem is very good. When we depart from a safe and beautiful place. We yearn to return to her. A very strong ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote