~ ’T Was Like the Renaissance

~ ’T Was Like the Renaissance

A Poem by
"

~ ’T Was Like the Renaissance, E.L. Elisa Laura, Surreal, Renaissance, Dreamworlds, Far away, There...

"



~ ’T Was Like the Renaissance


 

 

Exactly there, when I closed my eyes,

And watched into your glorious world of eloquent need

"Free and rid from pain"

 

Captivated still, she was dancing on that hill,

But she felt the chain of heaviness

Around his neck, getting rusty and smelly…

 

Now, all absorbed by green dreamed hue,

Left alone his trail of hurt, a moment came;

There flew by a little ladybug, upon his chain;

Telling her story through echoed splendor,

 

She lost her mind, in time, but tender…

Gasping for air, but seasons unfair,

"And she only could whisper";

But ‘t was enough for him to understand

As she died in his left hand…

 

“ He is the gateway to further future ”

He could hear her voice echoes say;

His howling along the never ending day, -

Lost for now on, though, profound he was,

Feeling her climbing through his glass …

 

“Drinking her…

            absorbing her…

                        Tasting her…

 

 

And to die a little,

With her…“

 

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

© 2013


Author's Note



Thank you for being around x
But I guess, only a few can understand ;)

My Review

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Featured Review

This is a dream of a piece. It reminds me of one of those 70's experimental films at first with the dancing on the hill (hard to explain). The only thing I would say is that the poem has an overall serious tone but the word "smelly" really brings me out of the ether here. You don't have to replace it on my word but I would recommend a synonym such as "foul". This way you have still a similar meaning but it brings that stanza back down to where it needs to be.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

6 Years Ago

I see the vision you mean, I know what you mean... that typical kind of retro feeling. Thanks for th.. read more
Kenaz

6 Years Ago

No problem E.



Reviews

This is a dream of a piece. It reminds me of one of those 70's experimental films at first with the dancing on the hill (hard to explain). The only thing I would say is that the poem has an overall serious tone but the word "smelly" really brings me out of the ether here. You don't have to replace it on my word but I would recommend a synonym such as "foul". This way you have still a similar meaning but it brings that stanza back down to where it needs to be.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

6 Years Ago

I see the vision you mean, I know what you mean... that typical kind of retro feeling. Thanks for th.. read more
Kenaz

6 Years Ago

No problem E.
this is so wonderful... Amazing job my dear

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lover Of Words

7 Years Ago

It's my pleasure. Always here for you

7 Years Ago

So I am here for you dear friend xx always!
Lover Of Words

7 Years Ago

Thanks i am honored
oxox
Oh, the melancholy in this is rich. What exquisite images you have painted with your words, Elisa! Freedom is so precious and too often the chains we feel bind us are of our own making. There is death here, but it seems to be a new beginning....one that will be brighter and more serene. The romance is tender. A haunting melody to accompany your words! Just a wonderful package. Lydi**

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much for this fantastic insight in your review... my sweet friend, you always bring me .. read more
What more can I say on this? Perfect!
Pain has ended. Rebirth...regeneration of love... So touching.
I really admire something like this because I love fantasy but haven't tried yet to make one.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

7 Years Ago

Thank you dear for this lovely review, I do love fantasy, it's one of my most favorite things to wri.. read more
*Applause*

Beautifully expressed and written, love it!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

7 Years Ago

Thank you very much, Saima
.

7 Years Ago

You're welcome. :)
Good work.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

7 Years Ago

Thank you dearly Ken... :) sorry for my lack in time... I won't forget you ever!!!
Very beautifully written, and the picture is amazing--you did a great job matching it to your words. I like this one...reminds me a little of some of Sylvia Plath's stuff, just more colorful. Well done!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

7 Years Ago

She is probably my all time favorite...along with Dickinson. Your words remind me of hers in your e.. read more

7 Years Ago

Oh, and now you name my second favorite too... It's great to connect with you, and share thoughts, :.. read more
Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

7 Years Ago

:) I appreciate you too!
Where there is love there is pain. To dream for love is courage. To yield oneself completely to love is divine. Bearing the things that may come along the way to the extreme is nobleness. Loving someone in any condition or circumstance is intrepidity. This is an impressive write, my dear and the imagery you painted here for us is beyond ordinary. I especially love the last two lines.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

7 Years Ago

My dearest Maryanne,

I am seriously thinking about to put your words to frame and hang... read more
Mary Ann M.

7 Years Ago

My intention was to give my thoughts about your poem in a most eloquent way. I am surprised and glad.. read more
Reading this gave me chills... the end was WOW!...
You are a magificent storyteller, as well as a wonderfully enchanting Poetess...
The music accompanying your poetry is soft, yet eerie... brought me to a place of sadness. An Elegant write, my dear Eli!~xoxo~

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much beautiful sis xoxo, your words are the fuel of the day for me now!! :D
Robbie~xoxo~

7 Years Ago

I hope you are better Sissy!... Remember, Vitamin C!
I'm off to get some sun (vitamin D)... :).. read more

7 Years Ago

I will take some right away, some oranges... :) thanks for all sis love you xxx
The ending gave me goosebumps. What a masterful stroke of your pen! To love completely is to be enlightened.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much my dear friend... and what a nice new pic of you!

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16 Reviews
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Added on April 6, 2013
Last Updated on April 6, 2013
Tags: E.L. Elisa Laura, Surreal, Renaissance, Dreamworlds, Far away, There..., ~ ’T Was Like the Renaissa

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