~ The Crickets at Night

~ The Crickets at Night, E.L. Elisa Laura, the Middle Ages, Espana, FreeStyled Poetry

~ The Crickets at Night

 

Sitting there with you and invisible,

The wind on our skin,

 

The crickets sang their strategies;

The unnameable morse codes of the night

They touched in sang our hearing --

 

There at the Gállego river;

Our fire was burning,

This twilight danced, slightly,

And has obtained with the touch

Of the trees.

 

You asked me to dance,

But I refused,

Because you would make me visible, by touch

In this magical night --

 

I shrank back in my chair,

My heart in my throat,

The crickets sang brighter, louder

 

And there was silence ...

Where the fire extinguished,

And the night fell.

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

Author's Note

Enjoy X :)
Feel free ...

Reviews

[Christoph Poe]

For some reason, the mood of this particular song I've been listening to fits this poem:

http://youtu.be/eW0AuyCTBkU

(Not necessarily the lyrics of the song, but just the mood fits.) By the way, is there a song playing with this one? If so, it stinks that I can't hear it. Again, I'm using my phone and its not playing it.

I get this 'teeny' vibe from this piece. I live in Alabama, and this is a very typical setting here. Lol. There's always a camp fire somewhere--winter, spring, summer and fall.

I love vulnerability in a character. I get that from the protagonist in this poem, especially the part about dancing around the campfire. It makes things "real". A lot of writers miss that mark, sadly.

I found this enjoyable though, and I'll get to more when I can. In the meantime, if you have anything in particular you'd like me to look at, feel free to send me a link. (Which actually reminds me, I read that piece you sent me the other day, but didn't have the time to give a through review. I'll check it out again and give my thoughts.)

Take care,
--Christoph Poe

95/100

Hi my friend, thank you so much for your detailed review, yes, thank you so much for sending me a song, I am listening to it now, and it's beautiful... it could fit the mood perfectly, although it's way too modern for this poem, for it's written out of the time in the 1600's... hehe, and yes, there was a song with it, in Spanish in medieval mood and dance. I can see your imaginations, for I've seen lot's of movies, from your part of the world, and it could be indeed a teen vibe. Although not what was my intention with this write lol, but I do love your interpretation always. :D I think when you are sitting behind your laptop or PC, and listen to the music attatched, you get a whole new feeling. And that makes it so funny, and good, to share music, thoughts, and poetry. Do not ever rush dear friend, I rather have a good review like yours, than 10 not meant reviews, and rushy ones... :) I so appreciate your time. I don't do RR's for I believe in spontanous reading/reviewing, for then like you did tonight, it comes out of your heart, and it's well meant, but I will if you ask, now and then... (not a fan of sending homework to my readers lol).

Take care too Christoph, and thanks for being so kind, to give me a read, and your thoughts.

- Elisa

[Christoph Poe]

Oh, so I just realized that you're not from the United States. (Ill have to add that you're the first person I've ever talked to from the Netherlands.)

And though a piece of my review was to return the favor, it was still spontaneous. Haha. I'll send an RR occassionally, but I'm like you, I don't like giving my readers "homework". I'll review sometimes if asked, but more often times than none, I just can't get to it or its not something I've ever studied. (How can I give a good review on something I'm not interested in and know nothing about?)

I'll need to find a computer so I can listen to some of your music as I read. I'd like that part of the experience. I think music and poetry go very well with one another, and it should be done more here on WC.

(In reference to the modern song, I write most of my stories to modern music, so my apologies for the mis-comparison [is that even a word?] lol)

But honestly, for you, feel free to send me a private message if you want something specific for me to look at. :)

Hehe, yes, I'm Eurasian. No worries at all, it does makes me happy you didn't noticed, so it means, I'm quite better with my English lol.... just kidding. I error a lot, so if you see them, please say so. I'm the same, I only review, what truly is gripping and getting to me, ofcourse I do return the favor, but to who I review, and the reviews are profound and long, that says enough I think... You're right, I too do NOT KNOW everything, or studied everything, for I'm pretty shy, and humble, but I do love to study in silence, until it's my time. So maybe I can learn more about it. Hehe, you just relax, and be on your I-Phone as long as you need, for I'm on my HTC much often too, when I'm traveling, and can react always, or review... people see me online, and are wondering what I'm doing, or why I don't say anything, lol so nosy sometimes haha... but it's how it is, we don't have always time to review, and when we have, it better be a profound one. For this site has great writers, and reviewers, but not everyone is giving the same effort. ;-) fortunately I've met you. :) one who does. Don't worry about the song, it was perfect, just not for this write, you will understand in a while... :D I do love your honest and spontaneous soul, so do not ever apologize ok? :) lol I will think about sending some... (still not comfy to bother you)... ;-) take care my friend. - Eli

[Clockwork]

I like the idea of "the unnameable mores code of the night." That line suggests that there are things in the night that can't be solved...or maybe, there are things in the night sending us messages that we can't decipher.

The male figure in this poem seems very bright, like he wants to spread light, even though the speaker in this piece is not ready to be that visible.

The end stanza was my favorite. I can see that fire going out in that one, and I can smell the smoke in the darkness.

Also, the song you chose for this is very nice.

Thank you very much my friend, for your time, and review... :) I'm truly lacking in time, these days, my reading list explodes, but I can't wait to give you my thoughts on all your new pieces. :) Your words here are as ever well felt, and you share sheer brilliance with your insights. Many thanks, it means much to me. - Elis

[Rossen]

Lovely pace,writer has carefully and skillfully expressed emotive thoughts without disturbing the evenings concert. well done~

Thank you very much Rossen, good to see you by!

[Souladareatease]

a bit innuendo placed within-dare to guess I shall not- but hearts in throats are never fun times--though a peaceful Gliding Pen weaves this tale and forms it into nightly-Beauty -for the cricket song serenades while sitting along fire-side-helps to take the breath away...This was a Lovely Write Dear Eli!!!

Thank you so much for your nice words my friend :)

[Souladareatease]

You are Quite Welcome and deserving!!!

I'm smiling to you thanks a lot.

[Souladareatease]

:D :D

[Kelly Scheppers]

Only you could construe a poem with crickets, and make it THIS poetic!
"And there was silence ...
Where the fire extinguished,
And the night fell."

Thank you dearest :) (Hug)

[zainul]

You have made me feel the lovely songs of crickets that we tend to overlook.
Listening to their song is a great refuge to enjoy a divine peace.
Thanks for sharing the amazing piece.:)

Thank you very much my friend, so good to see you by :) shall be back for your artworks :)

[zainul]

You are most welcome.:)
I am always blessed by your lovely presence in WC.:)

Awww, that is so sweet, thanks my friend. :) wishing you a great afternoon in a while! blessed be!

[zainul]

Wish you a great afternoon to you as well.:)

Thanks, it's early morning here now, 6:30 AM but already light, and the birds are singing... :)

[zainul]

Then we are not very away.
It is 10.47 in the morning.
Good morning,dear friend.:)
Enjoy the morning amidst the songs of birds.:)

[Pax]

There is something i love about the Crickets, i think its how they put the night into a magical glowing starlights... it's like giving hope to your darkest night... and oh the bonfire in camping nights or just a night out - it makes the night ambience more romantic or somehow just peaceful to tell a story or just be with someone you love... I love this big sis... it makes me reflect on how we love the night with glowing light!

They do, they do my dear, did you ever heard the music they sing? clearly? I mean with all pauses, and longer senerades? there is a language in that.... :) it does makes it lovely you're a true life enjoyer too bro... thank you for this nice review, as always, it's so good to have you by! :) happy Eli here. xoxo

[Pax]

smiles... oh... i think there is a relaxing feeling on their tune, that is why it makes them so cool to look at and to hear them sing makes you relax somehow... :) oh, i am glad your happy...

Hehe they are really cool (and even beautiful too look at lol). wink wink... it makes us numb of zen in the sound, and what is better than sleep outside in a tent in the middle of nowhere... I so love it... waking up, on the river, making breakfast on a gas burner... :) I'm glad you smile too sweetie x

[Pax]

its makes more comfy when you are with company of friends or just a special someone... :) it makes the feeling more alive, warm, sharing the feeling to your friends or loveone and to feel the nature nearer and much closer to your soul is great!

So true :) it does... but sometimes you're alone.... sniff... and healing and growing only can by yourself, nobody else.

[Pax]

ah... nothing beats self-healing - you can only heal yourself - a choice you do for the better, your amazing big sis!

You're amazing too! for your strength, and great personality you are. :) tight hugs always! xo

[wunder]

~"I shrank back in my chair,/My heart in my throat,/The crickets sang brighter, louder"~
~I love this (and the first line too)...you always catch the aura of moments so affectionately~ :))

Hey James, thank you my friend. It's always nice to see you on my little words :)

[wunder]

~ahh~always-always welcome~ :))

Thank you again :))

[wunder]

~~~ :-D ~ ~~

[Lover Of Words]

This is one of the most beautiful things i have read in a very long time Left me picking my jaw off the floor great job my butterfly :)

Thank you so much sweet Kels, I'm glad you enjoyed this writing :)

[Lover Of Words]

You are so welcome i surely did

Makes me happy, I try to come back to read/review tonight, when the temperature is lower here... :) (more concentration). Much love to you.

[Lover Of Words]

Take your time

[Ken Simm.]

I thought of asking a ghost to dinner alfresco on first reading. May not be right as an interpretation but I still rather enjoy it. Wonderfully well crafted and full of atmosphere nontheless Elisa. As always with your work there are undercurrents upon undercurrents that all add to the feeling espoused.

Thank you so much Ken, it's not a weird thought though... you're very close... :) that could be. I'm so grateful to you. I am far behind with your work, but I won't forget, for it's pure art... thanks for your time overhere, see you later! :)