~ The Man behind his Mask (Part 1.)

~ The Man behind his Mask (Part 1.)

A Poem by
"

~ A story this night as an incognito devised to save man from the vexation of thinking...

"


























~ The Man behind his Mask (Part 1.)

 

 

 

In the streets of Venice on carnivals night

He walked, compulsive, along the water

His heart was beating as the King of his blood pressure

Crowned with the sweat that poured from his pores

Dripping out of his face, under his mask

To find her was a lifetime task

 

Restless and eagerly of desire to catch her this time

Almost he sniffed her fragrance, truly obsessed.

Speaking aloud, but his words with discretion,

A lost Penetrating mind full of things to do,

What his voice told him to, but

He still had no clue...

 

Violin playing sounded out of the street corners

The acceleration of the song, while he shook his head

It made confuse his path, it distracted him

The voices in his head were talking about his failure

He felt lost, insecure, and confused

Why he had this haunting need, that she must be abused?

 

Closer with the illusion than his sick mind could change

Further away from its conclusion, wandering towards his needs

He runs on pure survival instinct, to catch her glimpse

Just a mystery she was, an elusive fact, hidden far away

Like she was one of a thousand, in the crowd for him a goal

But in his eyes a true special soul...

 

Various ways of suffering he had faced already

Glossed over by the splendor of the night

The little boys dream was thwarted, fallen into pieces...

In the great city of illusion, and all his mind confusion

He lost the key of his thoughts, the true transmitting fusion

He walked to an oasis of self disillusion.

 

He shall overcome the compulsions and head made illustrations

Like an rope around his neck and gives him a feeling he chokes

Tightened with every step he takes,

The way of self destruction he makes, and now much longer...

Does not awake him yet...

The perfection to catch her in his mind is stronger

 

The made pictures in his mind rushed him to feel hate and anger

A neurotic sea full of heavy thoughts stormed and came along

Where the waves splashed to the border of his brain cells

To drown his mind, to numb his thoughts, to kill his perfection

But he needed his gain...

To please her, he thought, he was totally insane

 

She was wearing a mask

Like a million women did this night...

If his neurotic mind was calm, he could just smell her

He was close to her, but preferred to chose

His own forced direction...

He was so overloaded with his own perfumed perfection

 

 
To be continued…

 

 

~ Elisa Laura

 

© 2013


Author's Note

It's just a poetic story, no film script, nothing more than my own creativity, as I did lived in Italy, and walked across some streets in Venice. Sniffed the air, and felt its embrace...


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Featured Review

Like a rope around his neck, gives him a feeling and chokes...perfection...looove that line...this is a bit different for you too, Elisa...telling an entire story like this...and I love that it was based on nothing more profound than walking on the streets of Venice, smelling the air, taking it in...it shows your ability to write from places other than our own ego, suffering, personal drama, etc...well done..xoxo

Posted 9 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Wow, i'm impressed. Reminds me a lot of Poe the way its written :). And I like how you told a story through poetry, not many are able to do that well. You could even make this into a short story if you wanted :P. Can't wait until part two.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much again, and I will be back for you when I have some more spare time, life is eating.. read more
Alexander Rodgers

8 Years Ago

You're welcome. No hurry :), it's understandable

8 Years Ago

I like your vibe... best of freedom.... you will be rewarded for this ;)
amazing story on the background of beautiful Venice! I feel always impressed from the mystical character of carnaval and splendor of architecture, i imagine how the man in mask moves with his own thoughts about need of his love...and liked so much this phrase:
His own forced direction...
He was so overloaded with his own perfumed perfection.
{nia}
31.03.13

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

8 Years Ago

Yes, me too, when it's carnaval I do art with people, so, in mix with this, i made this trilogy :) t.. read more
Our quest is always hard to figure out, but at the end when we settled it we found out how easy the answer was. When we have search so long and yet don't feel the closeness to what we search for, we lost the man we were made to be. "The picture he sees in his mind rushed him to feel anger and hatred. And this heaviness we attached to our quest makes us not to find our answer, especially when it comes easy." He was so overloaded by his own perfume perfection. Nice right up i must say

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

8 Years Ago

Thank you very much :)
In Italy? Wow, I wanna go there, this was such a beautiful story told in such a poetic way. It was outstanding, had me hooked from start to finish, loved it! xox

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

s y e

8 Years Ago

I want to go there! Haha!

Anytime xo

8 Years Ago

I will take you with me the next time ;) xoxo haha
s y e

8 Years Ago

Woohoo!! Yayyy!! Haha xoxox
Tá bron orm

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

8 Years Ago

Tá brón orainn le haghaidh cad é?
Tuigim nuair :)
Wow what a fantastic story, written so well, I could almost smell her perfume as he search through the crowd for the women he wants and needs.
I can't think of anything that needs to be changed or fixed.
It's a very beautiful piece, thank you for sharing it with us. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for reading me, and also one of the tree older ones of my triology, glad you enjoy.. read more
Motivated by raw instinct, he is a predator, masked to hide his intent from the crowd at a Venetian carnival. A psychopath? Yes, and a romantic one at that! He knows her scent up against a thousand women in the crowd, and his heart is only for her. He stalks her yet we sense that love is stalking her. Amazing write in all aspects of this thriller. I was thrown off by "a King of his blood pressure" yet thoroughly enchanted by the last two paragraphs.. Wow "A neurotic sea full of heavy thoughts stormed" is great writing Eli !! And now for the next installment.. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WOW another one with such amazing depth and power.
I liked this write alot. So well written. Very talented!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Incredible twin :)
It is obvious you have taken great care in constructing this piece. well done! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautfully penned and brilliant story in a poetic way. I was lucky to walk the streets of Italy for a few days but sadly was not able to visit Venice. Fantastic imagery!

Nicely done.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on December 7, 2011
Last Updated on March 28, 2013

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