The Wizard of Oz

The Wizard of Oz

A Story by Rogelio Chavez
"

The Wizard of Oz with horror twist.

"

Dorothy comes out of the house after the tornado. The Good Witch of the North comes and informs her she has killed the Wicked Witch of the East and has released a spell. She puts the ruby slippers on her to protect her from the spell. The Good Witch of the North tells what she has to do to reverse the spell.

 

"My dear, you just release a spell and only you can save us. To save us you must go to the Wizard of Oz in Emerald City. Ask to return the spell and save us all," said Glinda.

 

As just as she finishes talking The wicked witch of the West appears. She wants to take the ruby slippera off Dorothy so the spell can affect her too. Glinda says her magic in Munchkinland is no good. The Wicked witch of the west swears revenge on everyone.

 

"You all have made me suffer. All of you will pay. I promise I stop Dorothy" she says.

 

The wicked Witch of the West flys off to her castle. Glinda tells Dorothy just to follow the  yellow brick road. Dorothy worried she won't be able to save them asks what will happen if she doesn't revserse the spell.

 

"What will happen if I don't reverse the spell?" asks Dorothy.

"The Wicked B***h, I mean Witch of the East spell is release once she dies. She hated good person and wants to kill us all. The spell is cause every bad person to become a zombie and kill us all. Zombies here are very rare and they are very strong and fast. You must hurry as we only have two hours. Here is a alarm and when it goes off, the wizard by then must have already reverse the spell. Our lives are in your hands. Now good on and save us," Glinda replied.

 

Dorothy and Toto continue to follow the yellow brick road. They meet up with the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the lion. All of them join in her journey to Emerald City. Soon the flying monkey capture Dorothy and Toto and fly her to the castle. They lock her up. Toto is able to escape and bring back Scarecrow, The tin man, and The lion. They free her and are running out, but then the Wicked Witch of the West and her soldier teleport in front of them blocking the exit.

 

"Aha. You thought you could escape. Well, you were wrong. No one escapes me. I now have the potion to kill you and get your ruby shoes," she says.

 

She is about to throw the potion when the alarm goes off.

 

"Oh no. I am too late!" yells Dorothy.

 

"Now you die like everyone else," the Wicked Witch of the West says.

 

Scarecrow suggest that they kill the witch and maybe the spell won't work. The Witch throw the potion at Dorothy but Dorothy ducks and the potion hit the floor having no effect. Dorothy grabs a broom and hit the witch in the face making her fall to the ground. Dorothy breaks the broom in half and stabs the witch in the heart splattering blood on Dorothy face.

 

So far no one has turned into zombie.

 

"Maybe the spell was reserved," suggested the Scarecrow.

 

The witch's soldiers were about to thank Dorothy and her friend when they started feeling alot of pain. They soon were throwing up green slime and there faces were now zombie like. 

 

The zombie soldiers roar at them. Dorothy and her friend run and go inside a room. They close the door and the lions stays behind to hold the door close.

 

"Lion! Come with us!" yell The tin man.

"No, I'll hold them off," said Lion, "GO!!"

 

They continue to run and leave the lion behind. The zombies get to the door. One of the zombies push against the door and break it sending it to the wall smashing the lion splattering blood all over the wall. Some of the zombies stop to eat the guts of the lion. Toto, Dorothy, Scarecrow, and Tin man continue to run. They find a exit and run out of the castle. They zombies run after them. Two of the six zombie jump really high and jumped over Dorothy and her friends. they stop. Dorothy and Toto run to the left and Tin man and Scarecrow run to the right. Half of the zombie go after Dorothy and other half go after Tin man and Scarecrow.

 

The zombies running after Tinman and Scarecrow start running faster and faster. Soon they are right behind them. One of the zombie jumps on Tin Man. Scarecrow looks back and then continues running with the two other zombies running after him. The zombie on Tin man punch right through the body of Tin man and oil and gas starts comming out. The zombie spits red slime on him and Tin man starts melting. There is one spark and ignites with the gas and cause a hugh explosion.

 

The scarecrow trips before the explosion happens. One of the zombies spit green slime at him. Soon Scarecrow is feeling pain. He starts throwing up. Soon he is a zombie also.

The force of the explosion cause them to fly back about 15 miles.

 

Dorothy is running. She looks back and can't find Toto. She sees the Zombies and continues running. The explosion happen and the force knock Dorothy and the three zombies to the ground. Dorothy get up and then starts hearing a creeking sound. She looks around and see that the explosion has made huge cut at the bottom of the trees and know the trees were about to be following. Dorothy then hearing growling behind her. A zombie is behind her. The zombie grabs her by the neck and lifts her, choking her. A tree loses balance and falls on the zombie. The zombie's arm that was choking Dorothy is torn off, but still has a strong grip on Dorothy neck. Dorothy tries to pull the arm off, but isn't able to. Dorothy is losing all of her air. Dorothy grabs a stick and stabs it in the arm and the arm lets go. Dorothy gasps of air. She looks at the arm and sees that it is regenerating the body. Dorothy is about to go running when the two zombies are right there. One of the zombies pushes her and sends her flying far away. She land on a soft spot and gets up on unharmed. The hand has regenerated a new whole body. The three zombies run after her. Dorothy starts running away. Many trees are know falling. The zombies keep jumping over the falling trees.  Dorothy arrives at the Emerland

 

Back at Munchkinland everyone came out of their house when they hear the explosion. Suddenly they all hear laughing up in the sky. They look up and see zombie witch flying in their brooms. One of the witches uses her wand and make a house explode. The people panic and start running. The witches fly to the ground and start eating people. Glida come to see what is happening. She sees the zombie witches. A witch sees her and runs after her. Glinda then disappears. All the witches get on their broom and start flying toward the people still alive. The start spitting green slime to turn them into zombie.

 

Dorothy runs to the wizard's house. The door is locked. One zombie is behind her. Dorothy looks back and sees the zombie jumping at her. Dorothy dodges the jump and the zombie goes throught the door making a hole. Dorothy then goes inside. She sees the wizard. She running at her. She stops when she sees the zombie jumping on the wizard and eating him. Glinda appears.

 

"Oh, you are here," says Dorothy.

"You failed! IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT! AHHH!" yells Glinda as the zombie throw green slime on her. Soon she is turning into a zomber but before she tells Dorothy how to get back home.

 

"Dorothy, click you heels three time, aahhh, and say there is no place like, aaaahhhh, home. Save aaahhhhh! yourself", Glinda is now a zombie. Dorothy does what she said and on the last time she clicks her heels, Glinda and the other zombie grabs her.

 

Dorothy wakes up in her bed with Toto on the floor.

"Yes, I am home. What a terrible nightmare," sais Dorothy, "Thank god it's over"

Dorothy soonn hear screaming outside. She look out through the window. She sees zombie Glinda and the other Zombie.

"Oh no. I must have brought them into the real world", says Dorothy.

One of the zombie jumps in through the window.

 

THE END. Please tell me what you think.

Would you guys like a second part?

 

 

© 2010 Rogelio Chavez


Author's Note

Rogelio Chavez
The picture was the only thing I could fine close to zombie in uniforms. Please ignore the signs in their arms.

My Review

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Featured Review

First par.
Poor opening. Who will want to read what you think based
on an old 'Disney movie. You probably have a good idea, but
I would like to see something hard hitting, impressive, something
earthy to get your teeth into.
Try to spell correctly in 'author`s Note. The word is find, not fine.

Here is what I think.
You have an excellent imagination, don`t waste it on an old movie,
create something new.
You have written a story based on an old movie. You must edit your
story before you post it for others to edit.
Perhaps the typo`s and spelling errors are part of the story. They may
make it more comfortable for kids. It is your story and you are a good
writer.
I don`t care for this type of plot, but that is beside the point. The point
is; you have written something that you want people to read, so you must
shock them, wake them up, convert them in the first few paragraphs.

You get 100 % for effort.
I suggest you read a lot of the other writers. When you find something
that impresses you, ask yourself why you liked it, what captured your
interest.
For a story that will capture your imagination, I suggest you go to
a story by Tigra, Island of Reckoning.

You worked hard on this story. Read to find what you should be
doing. Forget about the little typos for the time being, create a
plot with a lot of punch.

Thanks

----- Eagle Cruagh

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I think this was sort of a funny story. A very fast description. its ok

Posted 8 Years Ago


The story is good, but you have A LOT of typos, a lot of places where you said zombie instead of zombies, spelling errors, etc.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lets get the editing part out of the way.
""My dear, you just release(d) a spell and only you can save us."
"She wants to take the ruby slippera(slippers) off Dorothy"
"I promise I (will) stop Dorothy" she says."
"Dorothy('s) worried she won't be able to save them asks what will happen if she doesn't revserse(reverse) the spell."

Ok there is a lot of work needed in this piece. You need to get your grammar hat on and go through it with a fine toothed comb.
There is an ok story here, you just need to fix up the grammar issues.
Good luck


Posted 9 Years Ago


I thought that this was interesting. Thank for sharing. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


Okay, I have to say - writing a newer version, of an old classic, is an enormous challenge - so huge in fact, most do not succeed at it - at least not on the same level as the original. So, I want to be helpful about this as I can offer. Here are my suggestions to you about this story;

If you want to recreate a story like this one, the reader is going to expect more than what they know from the original - hard to do right? First I notice that there isn't a lot of depth to the beginning of the story - part of the reason why writing a story like this is such a challenge is because, everyone knows it - everyone has heard it, everyone has adored it, just as it is, and just as they had the first time. However, you cannot recreate the story well, with that in mind. Otherwise you will never be able to write something that can stand up to it - the problem is the reader is always going to compare it to the story they already know - the challenge in part, is because you cannot change that - therefore you cannot leave anything out.

The very first parts of your story sound like a summarization of the story they already know - parts of the original, in pieces - because you are writing it from the perspective that everyone knows this story already.

Dorothy comes out of the house after the tornado. The Good Witch of the North comes and informs her she has killed the Wicked Witch of the East and has released a spell. She puts the ruby slippers on her to protect her from the spell. The Good Witch of the North tells what she has to do to reverse the spell.

This is not the best beginning, it is very flat, and I think if you changed more of it so that it was a nice, descriptive beginning, that would engage the reader - you could succeed at it becoming a better effort. Do not write it as if everyone has heard the story already. The other thing you could do to help with this, is change more of it to make it your own - what if there is a new witch - what if you write a new story as a continuation of the first story - how will she get there this time - what will happen to put her back in that dream? This is just as challenging, but at least it will help you to write the story completely new, not as if you do not need to explain what is happening because it has not happened already . Therefore, you will be more descriptive, more creative.

The other thing you could do, is run with that humor you have going on in this but apply it even more, and create a comedy of the story we already know. I would still change the beginning and add more amusing pieces and revisions throughout - but from the beginning, not from half way down the page. This is possible to compete with the original - writers have succeeded at doing this before even out of classics - make it odd, humorous, show no limits - make Dorothy a alcoholic, add witty discourse full of puns and metaphors - some readers will still find it invaluable and maybe obscene, even if it is not in the way I have just suggested. You cannot change that, some will ultimately always be extremely critical any time someone does this kind of story - some will even consider it sabotage of a great classic and never be willing to see anything other than the original - you cannot change that. You will have to be willing to accept that.

I think you should be proud of the effort - the courage you need to do this is HUGE. You never know what you will come up with if you make this story more your own, and knowing the degree of the challenge will help you work harder to make this a good story.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This reminds me a lot of those new books created as a parody of all those old stories. I like the idea but I don't know if this is at it's strongest right now.

I would think it would be stronger if you were to loosely follow the Wizard of Oz but use other characters, your own original characters. No Dorothy or Glinda. Create it all yourself but the bare minimum.

You have a great imagination and this shows a lot of potential.

Posted 9 Years Ago


You have a few grammar problems, but the plot was kind of funny.

Posted 9 Years Ago


lol; you get an A for humor. Messing up the Wizard of Oz so much as to be humerous. albiet I'd expect Frankenstein and Nazi's to be present in the secodn edition. Next, I can rant about you numerous errors and literary mistakes or I can just keep laughing and let you mull over the words of other reviewers.

Which do you prefer?

Posted 9 Years Ago


i think that you could have make it a bit more like the film
also you could have make sure that the people were more like what they are like they are in the film
i do like the idea that you had of changing the people but it would be a bit better if you made it a bit more like the film so people could get the story a bit more better.
but that is still quite good to read

Posted 9 Years Ago


Er,I'm not sure how I feel about this one,but I know its not bad.
Thats not helpful,I know,but I'm at a loss for words,honestly.

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on March 20, 2010
Last Updated on March 21, 2010

Author

Rogelio Chavez
Rogelio Chavez

Oklahoma City, OK



About
I am a guy who like to write and read stories. more..

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