Moonlight Meadow

Kayla moves to countryside, New York into a small house surrounded my felilds and a back woods. At night she travels the woods, and discovers Moonlight Meadow where she stubles upon many secrets...

I stare out the car window and go into a zone as I begin to think about what got us here, as I try to recall the events leading up to this. I don’t want to believe my aunt Kate’s reasoning for moving permanently. I have to dig deep into my past. But will it be worth it? Trying to find things in my memory I’ve never attempted to find before?

I am extremely weary around my Aunt Kate. For what reason, I don’t know. I always have uncomfortable feelings when I’m around her. The feelings shiver over me instantly. Right when I sense she’s around.

I am still gazing out the window looking at all I’ve been looking at the past few hours, fields, fields, fields and every so often a tree. It’s when I spot something that I decide I truly want to remember my past, think about now and the future and make sense of it all. However, what I saw, I don’t know what it was or why it made me make up my mind.

I look over to my aunt and notice her eyes are widened like a hawk and her grip on the steering wheel is tight as we accelerate from 30 mph. to 65 mph. It’s a sudden and nerve wrecking thing, but I decide to shake it from my crazy thoughts.

My hand fumbles for the seat lever and my head draws back slowly. When I pull the lever my seat lowers and pressure from my head releases. I feel more relaxed and motivated to think.

I allow my mind to rewind to my earliest memory. It is a difficult task that feels like it takes an hour. When I finally remember back to a moment when I was six my hands grip the seat of the car and I squeeze my eyes shut hard enough to make my head hurt.

I see myself sitting at an old table with my Aunt Kate, in the Chicago apartment we used to live in. My Aunt is reading the newspaper as I hum a childhood song and color.

At first I can’t recall what I am humming but then one note hits me. I am humming “The wheels on the bus go round’ and round’” Which I loved when I was little, however now I hate that song to a point of insanity.

When I was a child I didn’t notice this, but now I realize that my Aunt was clearing her throat every 10 seconds and my humming was getting louder. This showed a sign of irritation and annoyance.

I am still coloring and humming when my Aunt hands begin to shake from anger and that’s when she rises with a jump and slams her rock hard fist in the table. Aunt Kate takes a strong breath, lifts her head and yells “KAYLA! Just shut up! Enough! Enough of your annoying song! You are driving me over the edge and I can’t take it anymore.”

My lip quivers and my tiny, pudgy pink hands squeeze my little girl stockings as I turn my face red and reply with a temper “You are uncaring and stupid. You aren’t my mom and can’t tell me what to do.” My childish cheeks blush and a grin grows on my face.

“Oh please! Kayla, uncaring? Who took you in when you had nobody else? Huh? Me!! And listen you little brat, you have caused me enough trouble, so remember this Kayla . . . . I’m not the one who abandoned you, and if you can’t be grateful I can very well send you away!”

I shiver at my memory. Aunt Kate wasn’t usually that nasty, she was quite nice and caring. I remember the tone in her voice, the way I felt at that time and the vibe of her frustration. It’s almost as if I am reliving that moment.

When I was a child I didn’t think much of her words, except abandonment. I remember understanding and knowing what she meant when I was a kid. But now I don’t know. When I was a kid it was the tone in her voice that made me feel threatened.

I continue to try to remember what happened next, how I felt, what I did but BLANK! I can’t remember a single thing after. Although I feel like I know, deep inside I do. This feeling I am experiencing right now is from not knowing for sure what happened. The unknown is what kills me on the inside. I don’t settle with the unknown. But I have to, I don’t remember. It’s as simple as that. But, I feel like I’m not meant to remember.

It takes time to push the memory away and let it go and my mind takes me through a slide show giving glimpses of other memories, feelings etc. Emotion brushes over me through the whole process.

I start with seeing my aunt Kate on the phone with that wide eyed look and her fist griped tight to the counter. She isn’t in the same Chicago apartment. This must have been a different time period. We moved a lot and never stayed in the same place for long.

Her mouth is moving in a fast motion with attitude gestures but I can’t hear her conversation. I try to read her lips and only make out: Child, mean, no, stupid, crazy, dangerous, leave. Then BLANK. The image is blank. I have no memory of what happened next or anything. I stain my mind trying to force myself to remember. No use, it only aggravates me more.

Next I see my aunt and I in a car, with silence filling the air. Then my aunt, on the phone again with a calm attitude. Now, I see my thin, bony hands holding a cell phone staring at a message that reads “DANGER! You and your brat won’t win”

I gasp for air. I can’t breathe. My body is cold and stiff. I can’t move. I attempt a deep breath as I move to the next and last scene. I see myself, older, sitting on a rough couch with a cake in front of me and my Aunt Kate next to me. I have an obvious fake smile and my Aunt has a dull expression. I look at the cake to find a “12^th” birthday candle jammed carelessly in the cake. No one is doing anything. My aunt and I just sit there. That’s when I remember. . . I am seeing my 12^th birthday I had two months ago.

I see my aunt’s mouth open as she says to me “We are moving. But for good.”

“WHAT?! I don’t want to move anymore. And you always say it’s for good. No, I’m not going.” I reply.

Aunt Kate sighs. “Kayla, don’t waste your breathe. We are moving, you are going and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

I grunt angrily. “Why. Why move?”

Aunt Kate hesitates then says “I, want to settle in a house. And find a good job. I saved enough money. We are leaving to go to the country part of New York. I am just getting older and don’t want to be stuck in an apartment. I’m. . . Behind on rent”

My eyes roll with grief. Then, BLANK! I don’t see anything. Nothing.

I take time to recuperate from my slideshow memory lane experience. My breaths begin to steady themselves as my body slowly relaxes. It only takes a couple minutes to fully, find peace after what just happened, which surprises me. Is it unusual for a person to find peace quick after a nerve wrecking slideshow of their memory?

I shake off the thoughts when I hear a car door slam. My head lifts, giving me a blood rush feeling through my cold body. The feeling is powerful and very much noticeable; it’s almost as if a river of blood is flowing from my head to my feet.

My eyes scatter everywhere soaking in what I see. At first, I see but my brain doesn’t register what I see.

Author's Note

The whole story is going to be quite long. This is just the beginning. Read it if you like and it would be great if you could give me some tips.