You.

Yet another work for my partner.

A start.

I look at the blinking cursor.

What to say? What to do? What to think?

Approaching a superior. Typing out a brief message to convey lightly a desire for company.

Hesitant thoughts before pressing the send button. It taunts me almost.

Will I be rejected? Will I be appreciated? Will I be ignored?

Well I guess here I go. These questions can only be answered by a message to,

A friend.

We visit a rally. Bringing out political values we hold. You shake my hand and graze a secret.

Do you notice? Do you care? Do you hate me?

You carry on smiling. Picking up on attempted flirtations of a friend and I.

You hold me above a crowd and accompany me to a restroom. This means more than you know.

When will this falter? When will you abandon? When will I be alone again?

I guess I might as while wait it out until it ends in,

A break down.

A car ride. A long one. Avoiding home because it isn’t safe for me. I ponder.

Should I go? Should I speak? Should I cry?

Mixed emotions and night air envelope all sense of secrecy. I tell you everything.

I am open. About a past I left behind. Little did I realize our pasts make us stronger. So I speak.

Are you listening? Are you confused? Are you disgusted?

You hold me, and I know it’s just,

A new beginning.

A friend. One who knows my past and hasn’t left. One who knows me.

Is this real? Is this safety? Is this trust?

Occasionally reality falters but somehow you catch me. You learn things about me before I do.

Immediate perceptions about dark parts I have yet to expose.

Am I ready? Am I able? Am I here?

A smile shared as we enter,

A flash back.

An empty mind on a cold day. Shy to the crowd around me.

Do I fit in? Do I look okay? Do I trust this?

My eyes search for a love and instead fall upon another. A person.

Fumbling up the stairs with a lightning strike grin and a large drum.

Is this enjoyment? Is this what’s meant? Is this passion?

I just know I want to be like that in,

A future.

Things will be different. No more questioning.

I have you. I have love. I have safety.

Even when all desire and will has crashed to the floor lost I can regain my sense of self.

An impactful self discovery and strength led by you.

I can breathe. I can believe. I can trust.

Maybe this whole time.

The years spent grasping at shimmers of hope that I soon decided were illusions.

Maybe all I needed.

Was to find you.

Reviews

[Donyay Thomas]

i love this, it was sweet and deep