A Party Without Balloons

A silly poem about the morning after.

I fell asleep in a bed of roaches multiplied by stains of a human design, bed sheets traced with ashes when dreams of dancing ladies delight in a drag of my cigarette. 

Voices fall upon white walls rung with booze stained frames. The night before like the nights of many, play host to faces I hate and mouths that fellate. I peer through the cracks in the wall, but don't see my enemies. Only the Red Sea remains ready to part for my bloodshot eyes, but in it I stand - red cup in hand.

Author's Note

Thoughts and comments are always appreciated.

Reviews

[Stefano Segnan]

Before I comment and review, I would like to know as to why do you consider this to be poetry or a poem? In short what is poetry for you? Now, depending on your answer you can decide if the fallowing is useful for you or not: in my opinion, there is not a single element that could define this as a poem. It's a short story, an excellently described one with skillful imagery. But it is not a poem at all. For it to be a poem there should be more rhythmic elements, or a different writing style. For me this is prose, and the style is also prose.

[Xuru]

At times I have difficulty looking at my own work and identifying what type of animal it is.

I might begin a creative work with the intent being a short story, but on occasion it grows as something else that I can no longer identify. My weakness remains as my inability to put a leash on it and shutdown that other part of my brain.

Thanks for the in depth review and not being afraid to jab me with a fork a couple times.

[Stefano Segnan]

That is the reason why I asked. Can you sing, or "half-sing", this piece in your head? I cannot. This is the reason why I do not think this is a poem. Nonetheless, it's a well described sensation with vivid imagery, so really good work there

[MoonChild]

I get a sense of feeling stuck with your poem. I quite enjoyed it.

[MoonChild]

Also the title is excellent for this

[Xuru]

Thank you so much. Glad to see you enjoyed it.

[slfisher89]

Has a fluid motion to the tone. It has a dream-like quality and a disconnect. Like how its fragmented and zero in a lone figure in a party. I picture the speaker with a husky voice

[Xuru]

Thanks again my friend.

[G. B. Banks]

Like a surreal painting love this Xur

[Xuru]

That is nice of you to say. Glad you like it.

[Tracey~]

I love your style...and this read very well.. I could picture in my mind..

[Xuru]

Glad I got something right here.

[rowan.taylorrr]

i really enjoyed this on many levels. i am enjoying reading your writing

[Xuru]

Late response, but I'm glad you liked it.

[Saud Maroof]

Only the Red Sea remains ready to part for my bloodshot eyes, but in it I stand - red cup in hand.

I envy you now, deal with that =) With true seriousness this was an experience. You might have felt the real thing but your words had 4d affects all over me. Your style is very different just hanging off a cliff, legs touching poetry and head still poking at story. I need to adapt this style to get to this level. Last three word: Is it FICTION?

[Xuru]

It's very real.

[Saud Maroof]

that is disappointing. but still thank you for sharing

[Xuru]

Disappointing how?

[Saud Maroof]

if it wasn't real you would have created something that appears very real. so it's disappointing that reality wins again.

[andrew mitchell]

i enjoyed this narrative style of writing, very descriptive and so clear like i have been there once like martin sheen in that vietnam war movie.

[Xuru]

I think we've all been there.

[Michael X]

This takes me back, I can see myself in these words, good job!

[Xuru]

We've all been there, some more than others. Thanks for the read my friend.

[Chumi zate]

I am just leaving my comment here. I don't think I am qualified enough to review the entire context but i did enjoy it.
First of all underneath all those words and connotations i could relate to it. The speaker's feeling of isolation at some point especially.
And the need of alcohol for the speaker's need to escape the reality.
Besides the relatable content the lyrical aspects of it was impressive.

[Xuru]

Thank you for the feedback, even if you couldn't see through all of it.

I appreciate it.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

The Red cup is the stand out item there. The poem/story in all I very well done detailing the party hangover. But that red cup was it's spark. Well done

[Xuru]

Thank you Sir.

I'm glad you liked it.