DNR

DNR

A Story by Xuru
"

A short tale of new discovery and rebirth.

"
If anyone were to pause and peer out their passenger side window that day, they might notice a man hobbling through the streets shoeless.

They might wonder why his nose sits crooked and encrusted with blood.

They also might wonder why nobody else does before they shift their eyes back to their fighting children in the back seat of their economic sedan.

It has little to do with the paper towel dangling out of my nose or my hair matted with blood, but perhaps the deranged smile on my face and the jump in my step.

Time seems inconsequential, unable to grasp it in my trembling hands but I can’t stop. Not now.

Only a couple blocks left to my apartment, I push forward walking on blistered heels breaking and popping on the sun blazoned tarmac. At one point I had to duck beneath a storefront from the few concerned faces. One had even been an off-duty cop, but I gave him the slip.

The summer girls in denim cutoffs walk by with their long brown legs, not a bruise or ingrown hair to be seen by leering eyes.They form a wide berth upon my arrival, immediately knocking down a homeless man before tripping over their feet. I think one of them chipped a nail due to the onslaught of obscenities hurled back and forth.

I looked past the shop windows smeared with fingerprints and dirty faces to see my own ragged reflection staring back at me.

He’s handsomer, a few inches taller and skin like hard plastic. But most important of all, his hands were still.

“Your heart wasn’t in it,” the reflection says.

I laugh in its face, shards of glass embedded in my skin pool thick with puss. I can feel it running down my cheeks and into the corners of my mouth.

“I should be in a body bag fenced off in police tape right now.”

“But here you stand,” it says.

It starts to grin wider. “Maybe you are dead, like in those movies with the big twist at the end. Through a journey of self discovery after a traumatic event, you realize you are in fact dead and the audience gasps. They swear to themselves for not unwrapping the plot before you.”

“F**k you.”

“What if you are?”

“F**k you.”

As if to challenge those very words, a ringing sounds out. No, not the ringing that has been reverberating in my ears since the crash, but a phone. Something I never would have suspected survived the wreckage, much less myself.

I could feel the broken plastic collecting at the seams in my pocket as I run my fingers over the cracks spanning from the edges.

A dimly lit screen breathing its last breath illuminates the name “Stella” under missed calls. I press my lips to the name before tossing the device in a nearby bin.

Pieces of a life I wrote away on a napkin, poking me in the back of the head as if to say “welcome back a*****e.”

My feet refuse to take me with them, they’ve surrendered to the sky and soon my eyes shut. With my back slumped against a toppled garbage can, I can finally rest my head in the cool shade and kick rocks.


It’s going to be a good summer.

© 2017 Xuru


Author's Note

Xuru
Feedback of any kind is always appreciated. Feel free to leave a comment below telling me what you think!

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Reviews

Nice story. This is how I write, I try to tell the story in as few words as possible. The third sentence seems incomplete, should the word "something" follow "They also might wonder why nobody else does"?

Posted 2 Years Ago


Xuru

2 Years Ago

It's in need of editing.
R

2 Years Ago

I read it as: "they also might wonder why nobody else does (wonder)". Did I get that right?
Xuru

2 Years Ago

Yes, that's how I originally wrote that line.
"They also might wonder why nobody else wonder.. read more
It's interesting. I enjoyed reading it, and would like to read more. Well done.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Xuru

2 Years Ago

Thank you so much for taking the time!
Hey, I think the story itself is engaging for a short story. I would like to challenge you though by getting rid of all the 'woulds and coulds' how can you tell your tale without those horrible and useless words. Perhaps you would consider the showing technique (using the five senses) instead of just telling (when you tell the reader won't get hooked, they need to feel the emotions with you. For example:
you say:
I push forward walking on blistered heels breaking and popping on the sun blazoned tarmac.

whereas showing looks more like this:
My heels are blistered, as I push forward on the blazoned tarmac they tear and break. A constant sting remains.

Hope you can see the difference. Hope it helps, believe me when you can master that your writing will go to new heights X



Posted 2 Years Ago


Xuru

2 Years Ago

I love feedback, specifically useful feedback!

Will look to incorporate it in the fut.. read more

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823 Views
13 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on August 25, 2017
Last Updated on August 26, 2017
Tags: Short, story, fiction, writing, novel, poetry, suicide, life, dark, books, read

Author

Xuru
Xuru

Canada



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