Sandpaper Love Letters

A suicide note I’ve written and kept over the years.

I’m sorry.

How many others have left this same note, how many left nothing at all?

I always knew one day this letter would get written. You made me forget. You jump started me back to life and squeezed my hands, but I’m no longer there.

Don’t look for me. Don’t call for me. I’ve been swallowed into the pits.

You’re free now.

I almost forgot. You can toss my ashes at the nearest dump.

Hallelujah.

Author's Note

Let me know how it is. Appreciate any and all feedback.

Reviews

[Jerryyoung1z]

Guess the character here is already gone and only a miracle can bring him back...suicide shouldn't be an option come what may...

[MrBaskerville]

I don't feel super comfortable giving feedback on a suicide note. If it was an actual note it seems annoyingly vague. But as a kind of poetry it is interesting, it touched but a big part of it is the conctext.

[Manel]

I dont know the contexte but this is a goodbye letter to a loved one it maybe because of a breakup or death
it gives me a deep felling of sadness
thank you for sharing this beautiful piece

[knapp darko]

I agree this would be a good intro to a story and we need to know more about what motivates these words to have a better understanding and with that the impact will be more powerful.

[Kate]

This was your suicide note? This brought tears to my eyes. You are always worth it, and you can be brought back from the pits. Just remember that. You will never be fully out, always hanging on the ledge. But if you fight hard enough you can make it. To be honest, I'm still going through the darkness today. If you want to talk, just send a message.

[My Phoenix Project]

I agree with JayG....The words are powerful but without the context of the story behind them, it doesn't resonate as strongly as it could. Doesn't mean you should stop writing, but perhaps instead use this as the intro to the story that would enhance the power of the words. And also, if this is true and personal, you should write your story and perhaps that will help you see another solution besides one so permanent.

[JayG]

Were I the one who this were written for; were I to know what caused this to be written; were I you, this might be meaningful. But as it stands, someone we know nothing about is complaining about events unspecified to someone unknown.

The person writing it cares, and perhaps has good reason for being angry. But what can the reader say, after reading it but, "Uh-huh...I see." ? Burt do they have knowledge enough to choose sides? To pass judgement? To care?

My point is that you need to invite the reader in. Don't talk to the reader, involve them. Your reader is expecting to be entertained by being given an emotional experience, not information on how someone unknown feels about a person who's not introduced..

Write from your seat, but edit from that of a reader who knows nothing you don't place in their mind.

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest, powerful and realistic words and thoughts. When dead is dead. Old heart cannot arise. Thank you Xuru for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote