untitled....

a poem about dating me & my depression.

For the first months of our relationship, I
will want to be around. I will want to dive head first
into the open sea of love, and let the undertow take me
under.
I will be seemingly on top of the world, right on the peak,
but always on the edge right before
it all crashes.
Suddenly, I hear my own voice - you're fine, you have no need
to be angry, why am I angry, why can't i trust you
where are you going, why are you getting out of bed why won't you lay next
to me... Why aren't you answering me.
Call me back.
I... I thought I was over this. Why am I not over this.... I... I...
I'm sorry.
You'll ask me why I am apologizing
and I won't answer. The words are stuck.
I'm choking on them like a fist in my throat. Why
is this happening. What happened? The air in my lungs has been rung
dry and I
can no longer breathe
You ask me why
I don't know. I don't know what is wrong. I'm in a daze. How can I possibly
pull myself out of bed in the morning for work. Is it appropriate to call off
"depressed"?
Is it appropriate to call off indefinitely?
I mean they aren't going to want me around. They aren't going to want to
deal with my inconsistency. Inconvenience. Bothersome nature. You, you are
a nuisance. undependable. no good.
STOP!
I'm sorry.
You'll ask me why I am apologizing, and I'll apologize for my apologizing.
But the truth is I have no more of an idea than you why I do it.
Because for awhile I am okay. I am at the top of the world, looking out
just before it crashes
and burns.

Reviews

[DarkArtz 0703]

oh wow.... I can relate to this.... I like it.. very sad sorta makes me depressed