The Hatred Within

Look at this fabby fiction about hatred

I’m afraid to hurt people. The slightest hint of the faintest of frowns kicks me to my knees and continues to throw its bladed boot into my stomach when I’m down. I wanted to make it right. I wanted to help her. I wanted to save her from the way you treated her. Your cruelty. Your fake smiles. How you used her. I wanted to be her white knight, her hero that swoops in to save the day. But I wasn’t that. I was another dying legend to be swept away within the cold winds of the torture you put her through. The torture she still loves you for. Instead, I hurt you. And boy, did it feel good. To see the passionate rage burn in your eyes like petrol-coated forest fire brought a guilty pleasure to my mind. The flames may have burned me, but you boiled my blood so I’m used to the heat. Perhaps, I’ve lost her, but I’ve brought you but a step closer to losing her too. I know it’s not the best, but boy is the taste of vengeance sweet tonight.

You refuse to grant her a simple, short “Hello” after a lover’s lifetime apart. A greeting that can be heart-warming and fulfilling to one in the state she’s been in. You refuse to hold her broken self in your arms after your time apart. You don’t see what she’s done with her hair, the new makeup she’s trying on. The scars on her wrists from the things that have been cutting away at her mind. And you blame me for her disloyalty. You threaten me for the consequences of your cruel neglect, because you refuse to accept the fact you have been driving her away. You deny the fact I’m not the first, either. You try to intimidate me, but how can you scare someone who’s came to hate their life.

You throw around your dominance, you wish to be the alpha-male. Well let me tell you, I don’t believe in your hierarchy bullshit. I believe in being the best, kindest and most caring person you can be. I want to be the bigger person. I want to be the perfect superhero to her. I want to catch her as she falls off the bridge over jagged cliffs and shark infested waters that is her love life. But nobody’s perfect. I can’t fly, I can’t run at the speed of light, I can’t lift a bus and I can’t move things with merely my thoughts. What I could do was tell her how I feel, I could show her your cruelty with the light of my kindness - but now I can’t. Because you cut her off from any forms of communications with me. You don’t trust her. You don’t respect her. You don’t see her as an equal. You see her as your property, your pet, your ‘girl’.

So, my final message to you, I don’t want this to continue. I’ve done my damage. I know what it will cause, the rupture will split. I planted the final seeds of destruction in your relationship. Now she's sewing them through. It isn't long until the life sprouts from the dirt you push her down upon, until the saturated colours emerge from the soil, back into her life. I know in time, justice will be served and you, oh boy, one night you will find yourself, wallowing in your tears and drowning in a pool of the strongest whisky you can find. Choking on your twenty-fifth cigarette, choking on the words you should have said, and trying to swallow the ones you let out back down again. You’ll be bleeding from your own actions, and from your cruel, cold heart. She’ll be away from both of us, the dark monster that twisted her experiences to suit himself and the white knight that fucked up his plans. She’ll hopefully be content with where she is because she deserves a break. Me? I’ll be gone from your life, but you’ll never forget me, you’ll be envious of my ability to be happy. To not have a care in the world, I’d have forgotten about you and the damage I caused you because I know you’re not worth it. I might hear about you and laugh at the state you’ve gotten your worthless self into, but I’ll be too busy helping someone else feel better to continue the petty drama, feeding my light to someone else consumed by the darkness that surrounds them. I am better than you. You are vile, scum of the Earth. You’re disgusting and you make me sick. You bring nothing but the pain of a million heartbreaks, the agony of a million mothers mourning. And that’s why I’m happy I hurt you.