Just Ask

Poem from high school, trying to explain my quietness and lack of emotion to a girl I liked at the time.

It's not that I'm afraid of the present; I'm simply scared of the past

It's not that I don't trust you with my feelings; I simply don't trust myself
It's not that I can't stand being around; It's that I can't be away
It's not that I like you or love you; It's that I care for you

I turn away because it hurts me, but I embrace the pain so well
In the shadow of the night I cry, and I tell no one of my hell
God calls me towards him, I see Him standing with open arms
But all I can do is yell at Him, yet my Father means no harm

Mi hermano cares; mi hermana worries; my other friends are in the dark
My mother worries; my father ignores; my body is torn at the heart
Why, God, Why? Repeated so many times, but it never does any good
I feel the darkness coming over me, I see Satan pulling up his hood

From my heart to my eyes, from the tears to the page
My feelings flow openly, but these tears will stain
Papyrus and ink, stone and chisel, paint and canvas
Never has such myth been told, with so much truth in it

Never have I cried, with such an open passion
And not since that August day has my heart burned
Not since the day, I finally admitted I cared
Have I been this worried, but do know I still care

Don't hold the pain against me, don't let the burning blind you
I'll take my time, and I'll swear to God, I'd never mean to hurt you
We're just ordinary people, maybe we should take it slow
But when the sloth hurts the people, when is the final blow?

It's not that I want to, and it's not that I don't
But I don't want to hurt you, and I want you to know
That it's not how I act, that will never show my heart
My feelings are never on my sleeve, so when you need to know...
just ask

Reviews

[Lydia]

Love it.

[Rachel DeHart]

This is an incredible poem. With a strong narration and steady pace.
The first two stanza's completely dragged me in and held me close the whole poem. They describe so much turmoil and so eloquently.

Beautiful! Kudos!