Weeping Gwendolyn

Weeping Gwendolyn

A Poem by H L Rose
"

Tried out another double dactyl. I was happy to find it somewhat easier the second time.

"

Whittling-willowing


Gwendolyn Whitaker


Wondering pointlessly,


Her heart broken.




Walking and circling


Unsystematically,


Helplessly searching for


What love's stolen.

© 2019 H L Rose


Author's Note

H L Rose
Approvals, disapprovals, jokes, random quotes, thoughts, and of course critiques all welcome! Please and thank you!😆

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Featured Review

Stanza 1 Line 4 has some musicality iffyness (expanding it with a disyllabic adverb would be helpful)
Stanza 2 Line 3.....put the "for" in Line 4.

Other than that, way to Edward Lear this up (there are also Shel Silverstein vibes)!! Very entertaining despite the brevity. In fact, I think the brevity enhances the entertainment, for it makes the readers analyze for themselves what actually happened.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

emipoemi

10 Months Ago

Didn't see that this was supposed to be dactylic.....but in a way, for aesthetic purposes, I stand b.. read more
H L Rose

10 Months Ago

Thanks! I'm glad you think so! Leer and Silverstein are definitely unique so I appreciate that! I'd .. read more



Reviews

I'm not very familiar with the dactyl structure but I can see it's appeal. Having so many multisyllabic words and stressed/unstressed syllables in close succession creates a certain musicality to this. I like the form and feel of this piece - especially when read aloud.

Posted 9 Months Ago


H L Rose

9 Months Ago

Thank you! I'm so glad! The sound of it is what makes me like this form so much.
I appreciate.. read more
Very nice poem. Somehow I found it to be a amusing for some reason!

Posted 9 Months Ago


H L Rose

9 Months Ago

Good! Double Dactyls are suppose to be somewhat amusing so I'm glad you found it so! Thanks!
Yes - the format has worked out great; the stress/unstressed wordplay is perfect and the context is an excellent read. Really liked this one - thanks for sharing ... :-)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

H L Rose

10 Months Ago

Thanks you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it and think the format works well!
Brevity here in these words although I am not familiar with this form. I find myself wondering what it is that Gwndolyn has had stolen. What is valued so much that she is weeping. Nice alliteration in first stanza.

Chris

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

H L Rose

10 Months Ago

Thank you for that perspective! I appreciate you taking the time to share. I know nothing personally.. read more
Christine Anne Shaw

10 Months Ago

I hope you never have to experience it. It's the pits, but on a more optimistic note, you do get ove.. read more
H L Rose

10 Months Ago

Thanks! I'm glad to hear it!
I loved how you wrote this short, sweet and straight to the point.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

H L Rose

10 Months Ago

Thank you!
Stanza 1 Line 4 has some musicality iffyness (expanding it with a disyllabic adverb would be helpful)
Stanza 2 Line 3.....put the "for" in Line 4.

Other than that, way to Edward Lear this up (there are also Shel Silverstein vibes)!! Very entertaining despite the brevity. In fact, I think the brevity enhances the entertainment, for it makes the readers analyze for themselves what actually happened.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

emipoemi

10 Months Ago

Didn't see that this was supposed to be dactylic.....but in a way, for aesthetic purposes, I stand b.. read more
H L Rose

10 Months Ago

Thanks! I'm glad you think so! Leer and Silverstein are definitely unique so I appreciate that! I'd .. read more

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6 Reviews
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Added on November 28, 2018
Last Updated on February 11, 2019
Tags: Poetry, double dactyl

Author

H L Rose
H L Rose

Who knows , 🤷‍♀️



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