Stop

A story in rhyme depicting my acquisition of rhyming prowess, what it cost me, and what I learned :) (rated teen for concepts, language, and possible catharsis) ***Now with 100% more audio added***

Stop

 

I was sitting down when all around this sound found and ground pound me into a state of being irate and feeling hate toward this noisy fate. My excessive successive expressive blinking got me thinking that people were looking and cooking up ideas and fears about my tears; was it years of pressure from peers, too many cheers and beers, or perhaps the mere austere sneers and leers of the said seers to whom I made it clear I did not hold dear? I tried to turn away but needless to say I had to stay and weigh up my choices, to stick with the voices or admit defeat and retreat into a completely obsolete street to avoid the chance to meet and greet with the neatly dressed elite near me who only repeat their lies and deceit until from their heads to their feet the fleet of people they mistreat are all dancing to their beat.

 

It made me sick to watch these pricks whose slick tricks won the hearts of those too thick to use their own wit. You know the ones who won’t just sit and admit that the fact they have tits or dicks doesn’t make them one bit more clever it just serves to sever their chance of ever finding romance or getting to glance at the way to advance beyond those who prance about entranced by the dance and chants of those who treat them like ants.

 

But I don’t want my view of the general slew of people to be misconstrued. I do think there are a few who are not so new to what’s false and true, who don’t need clues, so instead of missing their cues, what ensues is a chance for them to muse over whether to diffuse, confuse or bruise the loser who now has to choose whether to cruise or stay and refuse to excuse their words, letting their lies amuse the one they thought they could use.

 

So I like watching people despite their botching feeble attempts at contempt. This nation’s affliction of berating through friction is an amazing contradiction of elation by addiction. But still I look on for so long and ponder if it’s wrong to feel strong that I’ve won because of the one’s who don’t have guns or the funds to not be shunned, these bleak weak speakers of peace, they’ll never get to the top. Even through my episode, here I force myself to stop.

 

To my friends who by the end were too hurt to amend or prevent from following the trend of leaving me to blend in with others whilst I pretended the ears they leant were extended so I could be defended from this fate but I was attended on too late, offended enough to cause hate till I had fended off my last mate and descended to such a state that amendment was a laughable trait to allocate those with enough on their plate. What with treachery and lechery, backstabbing and grabbing what’s best of me and using it against the rest of me, like some sort of test you see, so blessed be the one’s who seem to need me to bleed to feed their greed to be free of their misery and conversely filled with glee at seeing this scene of me fleeing helplessly; the legless flea the branch-less tree, the empty sea, I try to plead but so dark is the seed they sow that I know all I can do is watch it grow and overthrow my own low-blows, until as though I were filled with snow my slow glowing light giving me hope goes out and shows instead the darkness enclose around my head.

 

So by the time I get to bed I’m filled with dread at so many friendships now dead, where all the paths I seemed too keen to tread have now led. My eyes feel like lead, everything I taste is stale bread; all my thoughts are bred from those I have fed and bled for. I fled at the first chance and sped home, and now all alone I flick through my phone and see all those who disowned me, those who had known me, once friendly now lonely, once a heart now a stone, from merely apart, to unknown.

 

I feel as though I have failed, as though this stale gale of hail, and what it entails; this pale face inside this jailed place, has prevailed. Caught by my own blackened traps and thrown into cracking collapse, if by tracking this lapse I’m found lacking then perhaps I’m merely fraught with the thought that though I fought for what I brought together, I never expected to be taught to be rejected and forced to consort with the other dejected in order to be accepted once more. My thoughts have taken a path impossible to plot, my jaw clenches in focus as I force myself to stop.

 

Whether I’m on a train or a plane this pain inside of my brain makes it plain that my main aim is to shift this rain of blame onto a different plain so that the same strain driving me insane making me complain again and again is lain somewhere I can’t regain it. Name it with the profane acclaim I attained and maintained it when I first claimed it and famed it for it’s ordained sense of disdain or it’s main untamed flame that would not be changed and only estranged by those who do not understand and can only reprimand and demand bland attempts at a stand against a land they can have no hand in the making so by breaking it and faking as though they are creating something they are mistaken in just what they’ve taken from those they think they’ve awakened.

 

But these thoughts are too crazed too close to the bad days of going through a bad phase in a daze of hazy craziness others mistook for laziness, my thoughts ablaze even though my brain and face remain unchanged, the sun’s rays amaze and save me, this thought train has got me deranged, I have to change, so without a trace of grace I launch my mind into space so that the race of debates that distastefully baits me can wait and move at a slower pace because of the new path I’ve tried to take.

And though now outside of time my mind still brings the rhyme as though a parallel line to my life is trying to define dying as easier than surviving these thoughts that keep me lying to all who come prying.

 

I just can’t gain any insight into the ones who think a little fight might be the right type of help like they’re the bright white light that will rescue me from my plight and restore my sight; these impolite and non-contrite types only inspire spite and sleepless nights, leave me alone, I’ll be alright.

 

And though the main conventions and intention of this extended retention appear to keep all the attention on my own descent, to what extent does this invention mention others to whom a similar event has bent them and sent them on their own journey of malcontent? I must confess my best guess suggests that unless the rest of them suffer less stresses or pressing distresses, then there’s a whole mess of other addresses out there written by kids who try to compress their blessed lessons into similar digressions. I think many of them seem to glean across what they really mean, and even though none of you are still impressed, I’ll do my best to explain.

 

It doesn’t matter if you’re thinner or fatter, smaller or taller the former or latter, if you have ears stop listening and hear me, if you have eyes stop looking and see for the first time in your lives maybe. I know most people don’t care what I have to say that they’ll go away, go about their day, but I pray that some of you will stay and understand the point I’m trying to relay. It’s not about right or wrong or writing a song that’s two thousand words long in order to impress a throng who all along are longing for you to stop prolonging what they think there’s an end to.

 

Hopefully this is where it starts, in a class or in your hearts, all the smart ones with sharp tongues and past wrongs will see this chance to surpass your past trespasses by letting the auditory blast of this world’s cast last for a while, and instead of laughs or denial why not trial a smile? And if that’s not your style then for God’s sake be awake to the sort of courage it takes for someone to put everything at stake by creating something that makes no mistakes or misgivings about why they hate how they’re living. And whether you think the creation is great or awaiting debate the ruthlessness of the truthfulness should let us assume there’s room for the artist in you to bloom! Don’t grieve if like me you’ve received E’s and D’s for work you deemed worthy of C’s or B’s, please believe you can achieve your wildest dreams by just seizing the means you need to succeed. Whether it’s from me or your family or the friends you see, you can get where you want to be without a university degree that supposedly makes you happy. Don’t let teachers and preachers give you speeches about the furthest reaches of achievement. It’s up to you to show you already know whatever it is these average Joe’s are trying to bestow upon you. As long as you grow from the places you go, the things you throw away and the things you choose to save, then you’ve gained more than could ever be explained for you.

 

Though I think it’s barely fair, I’m aware I’m running out of space and time for this race in rhyme and that this pace of mine can’t be traced it’s fine for the faces of the blind to be blank or rank with the frank expressions of repression. I can see they don’t understand what I’ve said; this whole thing has probably gone over their head, but for you near me who hear me clearly don’t fear to steer your way to the top, and no matter what anyone says, never, ever, stop.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Jenney Clark]

And though at the start I cringed at some mild profanity ( sorry it's my Roman Catholic roots) ..nevertheless the wild and carefree poet in me reveled in sheer bliss as I soaked in the mellifluous flow of words ....This rap grabbed me by the eyeballs and the eardrums from the getgo. it showed me the man behind this poem..someone with a conscience. who doesn't blindly follow his peers ... someone who questions authority, who raises his voice in the face of wrong(a beautiful voice) who marches to a different drum than other ordinary mortals. a soul who can be unstoppable if he continues to use his pen and his voice to raise relevant issues. lethal combo that pen and voice. Bravo Christopher Robin! You are gifted.

[Christopher Robin]

Wow! Jenney!

Thanks for the awesome praise and review. Outside of my rap I very rarely curse, finding insults and abusive language can usually be better replaced with a more clever adjective. It's quite deliberate in this piece though, this is my mind at its most basic, unleashed and not trying to form any real stanzas or filter anything that came out. I wrote this entire piece in one sitting over about 3 hours it just suddenly struck me and I couldn't stop, hence the title. Expletives aside most of my work has a common theme, and that is waking people up to the world around them. Too many walk around with their heads down headphones blaring staring and not caring enough to be daring. The 'shock value' i try to use for this is simply doing my best to find the balance between the best quality and quantity of rhymes I can fit into a line, a verse, a poem. I'm overjoyed you picked up on all the relevant themes in the poem, so many find it such a mouthful that the actual meaning gets lost along the way, I thought the vocal recording might help that a little, make it easier to find the cadence lurking beneath the seemingly endless lines.
Thank you for your wonderful review and praise, I hope you enjoy my other work (though I would steer clear of 'battle of the sexes' if you're not overly fond of foul language and themes, though in jest, it's still there)
Many thanks for such an inspirational review.

-Robin

[Jenney Clark]

you are welcome Christopher, i give praise where it is due. you certainly have a way of driving home a point. words are your forte ... keep doing what you do, I am sure raising decibels on the right issues will call attention to things that need to be addressed. go get em!!! all the best !

[micky]

Wonderful piece Robin I enjoyed reading it I think it would be my favorite piece bu you :)

[Christopher Robin]

Thanks Micky!
Glad you enjoyed reading it, you can also listen to it as well it follow the link, I uploaded it today so hoping it gets a second look. It definitely needs to be read aloud. I'm glad this one is your favorite!

-Robin

[Debashree Chakraborty]

I loved the way you framed those 'beautifully long' sentences. Most of them lose it somewhere in the middle, but you didn't! Great stuff.

[Christopher Robin]

Thank you! Sometimes I get a little lost reading it, and reading it out aloud was definitely a nice tongue twisting challenge. Glad I can share that now. Thank you for the review and the praise, greatly appreciated!

-Robin

[Christopher Robin]

After several requests (both here and otherwise) I have added the audio to go along with this poem. It was always meant to be spoken aloud and now you have free access to my dulcet tones making no less than 3 stumbles during recording! (There's a lot of rhymes ok? The whole thing is a damned tongue twister).
I hope this breathes a little new life into an older work. For those who are not Australian, please excuse my outlandish accent.

-Robin

[AprilRN1210]

well, isn't this a mouthful.. wheeew... again, have to say, love your word play... the way you masterfully arrange words to make them so pleasing to the mind and the "ears".. the creative way you express ideas in rhythm and rhyme is quite impressive.. you mix emotion, deep thought, wit, and humor to bend and twist written word into this magnificent art form that is stunning to all those who have the pleasure of witnessing it.. in a few of your pieces now you have had me giggling and scratching my head, thinking did he really say that, did he really go there, wow... mad or genius? or both?... I have to make one suggestion.. especially with this piece.. I would love to hear you record yourself reciting this one and posting for all to hear.. that would be pretty dang awesome..
most people who do such long pieces and such lyrical play end up going way off point and end up somewhere they didn't intend, but yours usually stay on task and spot on with the point which in and of itself is impressive.... your words dance across the page confident and commanding of attention and appreciation.. amazing write, my friend..

[Christopher Robin]

Thank you once more for the awesome feedback April! The praise that this piece and my others are receiving is really blowing my mind, i only hope more people can come and read them! I think the difference between madness and genius is often pretty thin, and most times two sides of the same coin. Thank you for your suggestion, this was always meant to be read aloud, I know how to record it, but i did not know there was a way to share that through this site, do you know how to accomplish something like that? I might take you up on your offer.....

-Robin

[AprilRN1210]

I sure do! I posted me reciting mine on a few pieces and would be happy to walk you through it.. I can message you if you like explaining.... and you are more than welcome... I have been spreading the word about your writing as well.. it is too good not to be passed around like the treasure it is... :)

[Christopher Robin]

Sure thing! Yes please message me with that info, that will come in handy in for a few projects of mine! And thank you yet again, all I can ask is that this be spread!

[AprilRN1210]

you're more than welcome.. it is my pleasure, for sure..

[Christopher Robin]

Now with AUDIO!

[AprilRN1210]

ok, now that is pretty damn awesome.. guess where I think you should go next?... make up a wicked beat and turn this into a kick a*s rap.. has meaning, has freaking amazing rhythm, and you have the funky style to take it to mind-blowing... just my opinion... I have said this, but will say again, since you mentioned, I love your accent and the way you pronounce certain words makes the rhyming more colorful to me.. I am so glad you added! thanks for sharing.. :)

[Christopher Robin]

Haha your jedi mind tricks only work so far April! You may have helped convince me to record this but I never want this to be anything more than a stream of consciousness. Something I could take along to some new-age nonsensical 'beat-poetry-slam' and show them that for all their posturing, dramatic pausing, repetition and passion that they are NOTHING in the face of pure unadulterated unlimited rhyme. I wouldn't want this to conform to anything more than someone speaking it out loud. But never fear, we have 8 fingers to have in 8 pies no? More rhymes are coming, more raps are forming, as soon as I find a DJ (or get good enough making my own beats, I'm slowly learning) and a partner or two to rap with (preferably female, it's a sorely-needed niche to fill here in Australia) then I (or given the partners I suppose 'we') will be unstoppable in our onslaught of antonyms, our savagery of similes and our rampage of rhyme ;)

-Robin

[AprilRN1210]

hey! I had to try:)
I can understand that.. your other partner in crime seems pretty talented at rockin those beats out.. I don't know any female Australian "rappers" but will keep my ears open for you..

[Cory Barrett]

As i came to the conclusion of this piece i sighed, actually physically sighed. Not in relief, but rather in despair; I really did not want it to be over. This is brilliant, one of the best Poems/prose i have read on this site. The rhyme was fantastic, and the message was heartfelt and honest, but that was not the part that blew me away. Poetry is overloaded with numerous skills that a poet must consider to create even a decent piece, and there was one skill in particular that you show mastery of here. Cadence, is is the most under rated, under considered portion of many poems; especially in the style that you have chosen.

As I was reading i couldn't help but think of what a marvelous spoke piece this would be. There was actually a certain voice in my head (of a famous spoken poet) that read the entire poem out loud.

Mr. Robin you have a winner on your hands with this one.

[Christopher Robin]

It was definitely intended to be read aloud, though I find it quite hard to do myself as it's a little close to home. I really appreciate your feedback and praise, I'm really gobsmacked that i could write something that you could really enjoy, more stunned that you think it's one of the best you've read around here, i could receive no higher praise. Thank you very, very much Cory, this sort of encouragement keeps me inspired and reaching for the next page....

-Robin

[Christopher Robin]

Now with AUDIO!

[Chad Sell]

It would be an understatement to say that I'm impressed. Last summer I wrote a song that had a "rap" part to it in which I amateurishly attempted to do what you have masterfully done here. Not only are your rhymes impeccable (I'm particularly blown away by how flawlessly you transition from rhyme to rhyme, I don't ever feel a hiccup or hitch in transitions), but your meaning is clearly conveyed as well. This is truly an incredible literary feat and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing!

[Christopher Robin]

nawww we were reviewing each other at the same time!

Wow dude thank you so much for the high praise, that is huge! This is pretty much an insight into how my brain is always ticking over, I've got a bit of an obsession with rhyme and it helps to just write it all out if it's sitting there turning over in my head. I'm really glad you enjoyed it and hopefully you enjoy my other stuff too! Thanks again for the feedback.

-Robin

[Christopher Robin]

Now with AUDIO!