The Visitor

The Visitor

A Poem by Christopher Robin
"

A very old piece of mine, one of the first, written when I was around 11, I was sent to the school counselor after submitting this for a poetry assignment.

"


"And in the end we'll weep and wail
                      because our lives are doomed to fail..."
 
 
 
 
 
"The Visitor"

 
I had a vision in the night,
I saw a light,
T'was burning bright,
Above my head,
As I lay dead,
(Or so I've said but do not dread I was not dead)
I lay asleep,
I had a peep,
Up at this star,
A brightened scar,
Against the sky,
(It was espied inside my eye I do not lie t'was in the sky)
And as I watched, it fell to earth,
And what a girth!
As if the night had given birth,
It filled the air,
And raised my hair,
(But I approached it's shining lair and look what I discovered there!)
Not a star celestial,
But a thing more bestial,
Sixteen feet from wing to wing,
A pure and good, yet saddened thing,
And she did make me feel a king!
(For she was young and with a word she held my tongue, oh the songs I could have sung!)
For then she knelt,
And sure I felt,
Of all the cards I had been dealt,
This was the best.

 

© 2014 Christopher Robin


Author's Note

Christopher Robin
Ah the days of primary school prose. This is a nostalgic one and bear in mind I was only a child when I penned it! If you're gonna mistreat it, beat it.

My Review

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Featured Review

I am and will be, I guess, more than fascinated if not infatuated by the reality of dream within a dream, death becoming, who is there? dynamic. I confess is nothing but my droning mind for Poe's ability, I only wish. I guess that is my way of saying I was already attracted to your writing by word number three (sorry I am a little slow that way, I needed the first two). And from then on I rather not deleve in figurative conformity as for me this needs to be let out free. If it was to mean one thing or the other to me will defeat the point of the offering. It is in beholding and waiting to see the message that comes to you where the magic of this type of wrting can be found.

Did you take Lenore by any chance?

Thankyou

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christopher Robin

6 Years Ago

Thank you as always for your kind words and commentary. This was long before I'd ever read Poe's 'Le.. read more
Rene Salinas

6 Years Ago

Thankyou for sharing that mate. In that case your original intention miles apart and it sheds more l.. read more



Reviews

Astounding piece..! I am all amazement. This is a work of an 11 year old..!
I liked the start,
"And in the end we'll weep and wail because our lives are doomed to fail..."
The style is giving a surreal feel to the poem..! And the gloomy undertone is working wonders.
Great job talented poet. Thank you for sharing this..! Enjoyed the read!


Posted 5 Years Ago


This one reminds me of the movie and novel..."Stardust".
The poem absorbs you till the very end..From the beginning, the reader anticipates something wonderful is going to happen.
And then you do it...You make it happen!
The imagery is very apt,as if, it's happening right in front of my eyes.
Fabulous write!

Posted 5 Years Ago


This is quite extraordinary for a child to write! Its a shame they sent you to the counsellor, I would've been so proud as your teacher haha.

Not much to comment on, I feel the entire thing was great and the rhyming, perfect with a very interesting melody.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Pretty darn good for an eleven year old. Does not seem that someone so young could produce such a flawless right. I saw only one part that swayed the rhythm, but this was almost perfect. I was sent to the counselors office a lot for my writing lol, although I'm not sure what they were so concerned about on this one....

Posted 6 Years Ago


Gosh that was school poem , i couldnt even write one of such kind in my older days, that was a great work

Posted 6 Years Ago


You were a kid when you penned this ? Death in a dream wow! Amazingly lyrical. Put together nicely.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Christopher Robin

6 Years Ago

Thanks Jenney! Glad that you enjoyed the lyricism of this one, if you enjoyed that, feel free to che.. read more
At 11 years old, I was composing lewd (but awesome) songs to the tunes of Bollywood songs at a game of Antakshari, with my class mates(fun times during class), so I find this piece quite amusing and nostalgic. Somehow, I got reminded of this when I finished the piece, obviously triggered, having read the description but nevertheless, this is a good write considering the age you wrote it in and the style in which it is written does fine.

Might you consider a grittier one, at the present age? ;)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Christopher Robin

6 Years Ago

Haha!

You're not the first to ask me to delve into the dark side. It's such a populated.. read more
I love this poem. it's wonderful. Thank you Christopher!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Christopher Robin

6 Years Ago

Thank you Micky,

I'm really glad you enjoyed it, I hope you enjoy my other works also, .. read more
This was the best read Robin. I really enjoyed this part of your poem:
I lay asleep,
I had a peep,
Up at this star,
A brightened scar,
Against the sky..
Thanks for sharing

Posted 6 Years Ago


Christopher Robin

6 Years Ago

Thank you Eve!

Glad you had a favorite moment! Mine personally is the end. Any break fr.. read more
Have you ever considered taking the contents and giving it a new face? This could be a poem that you revisit throughout your life with each time creating a new spirit in an old memory.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Christopher Robin

6 Years Ago

That's an interesting notion Cory, actually never considered it before. I suppose Poe re-wrote 'Leno.. read more

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764 Views
16 Reviews
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Added on August 22, 2014
Last Updated on August 22, 2014
Tags: poetry, rap, prose, commentry, contemporary, poem, story, rhyme, lyrics

Author

Christopher Robin
Christopher Robin

Melbourne, Caulfield, Australia



About
Chris, almost 28, live in Melbourne, love reading, writing, gaming. I like to have fun with words. I'd also like to raise the bar a little when it comes to publishing online 'literature'. I hope you b.. more..

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