Firm Grip

Hyperbolic chamber love

The floor records your footsteps
To walk in on, to stand upon
Fault lines have been shifted
and lifted me from in between
who my hands have slighted
and those so insistent to shake
until my wrist breaks

Both the gloves are off,
no fingers extend from the sleeve
And yet I'm holding up
Both my gloves are off
These things depend on
what you've seen,
and what you believe

It's a trick
you've got a firm grip
Keep carrying it
until you cease to exist

Author's Note

Edit #2

Reviews

[Nikki]

Simply beautiful writing.

[Wandering Minstrel]

This is a stunning piece of poetry..so fresh yet clever

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thank you for the kind words! I appreciate it

[Matching Socks]

Hyperbolic love chamber... Firm grip
Lol. :)
What is this poem REALLY about?

[Zakari Schmidt]

Lol, the perceptions of reality & time through the eyes of one trapped in a state of paralysis, metaphorically speaking. Or something like that! Ha, hope u liked it

[Matching Socks]

Of course, that's exactly what I was thinking!

[Eliza Mae]

This poem has a very eerie feel.. I love it. The flow is easy and smooth, which I appreciate very much. This is definitely one you have to read, then reread to fully process the stanzas. I like how the interpretation is open for each individual reader.

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thank you!! :) it was after I wrote it when I first got an eerie/murky feel to it and wanted to preserve that through editing, so I'm glad you liked.

[Sophy Freebirds]

"Just hold onto it,till you cease to exist"- i loved that line.. hyperbolic love chamber,eh??? :) its a brilliant idea. I liked how you ended- bodies around me rose. That gave me an idea how the curve rose... It took me twice to understand it completely. But intelligently penned.

~Sophy

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thank you! This was one of my tougher writes, trying to get it all to come together. Ended up taking parts out that weren't crucial to the framework. This ones all about imagery so I'm glad I painted a picture that's understood and appreciated :)

[Sophy Freebirds]

:) was a pleasure that i could interprete it.

[AprilRN1210]

love the way this one starts out, then towards the end you lost me, so I went back and read a few more times and have come to the conclusion that I like it for the way it confuses me... not sure where you went within this piece and the fact that I cannot figure it out is the beauty... the flow is enchanting and the rhythm seductive.. thought-provoking indeed... well done..

[Zakari Schmidt]

Aw thank you for your kind words :) I'll admit and agree this gets lost towards the end. Another one of mine, of an orchard, is kinda like that only in its rhyme sequence instead of story content but I like to think it complements the entirety of the piece. I feel like I need to add more story to this one but still, thank you veryyy much!!! (There's beauty in mystery) haha

[AprilRN1210]

you're welcome sir... if your intent is to keep us lost and confused then I say, leave as is.. depends on what you are trying to "say" within the piece...

[Zakari Schmidt]

I'm gonna spend some more time tonight editing it lol..I appreciate your feedback &advice :)!

[AprilRN1210]

send me another RR when done "editing" please.. am curious to see where you will take it.. good luck and anytime sir, it is always a pleasure with your work:)

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thank you my friend, and I will

[Zakari Schmidt]

(I just took parts out and liked it a lot better, slightly simplified)

[AprilRN1210]

definitely less confusing with the edit.. I like... sometimes simpler is better... makes the imagery flow more fluidly.. would have to say, I agree with the changes... yep!! stamp of approval:)