Good Intentions

Just a messenger

Maybe I'll see you there
we will have different names
I was a messenger
patiently waiting for,
idle hands and swollen minds
Paralysis of your perception
is footage repeating time
Existence spent in recollection
doesn't tell me who you are
In shrouded memories of moments
I chose to depart,
the bindings of manipulation

I was just a contractor
awaiting distant confirmation
from somewhere inside your soul
to tell you this with
good intentions

Life is not about your worth
when everything you've got
was given by a man who
walks the Earth
The time has come
for your decision
Bend your arms,
or grow a pair of wings

Reviews

[I Am Svetlana]

The last two stanzas were definitely my favorite and you tell a shocking truth. Life is all about our decisions, not by abiding by others rules. We all need a messenger sometimes, to help remind us of who we are. We cannot walk the footsteps of someone else for all our lives, trying to live up to countless expectations. We must grow our own wings and learn to be free.

[Zakari Schmidt]

Hey thanks for the awesome review, makes me smile when I can write something of depth which can be understood

[Awfulhabits]

"Life is not about
your worth
when everything you've got
was given
by a man who walks the Earth
The time has come for your decision;

Bend your arms
or grow a pair of wings
I open up my eyes
before you fall asleep."


That was BEAUTIFUL !!!!! My absolute FAVORITE was 'life is not about worth when everything you've got was given' That is definitely relate able !!

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thank you! My perception of society seems to differ from others, especially when written about. I'm glad that stanza resonated with you, those of like minds are too few. Thanks again :)

[Nikki]

I appreciate the dept of your writing more than you could imagine.. It is so.. Refreshing. Keep up the great work!

[Zakari Schmidt]

I appreciate your kind words Nikki, reviews like this help keep me motivated :) thank you

[Nikki]

Then it is my pleasure to make sure you are. You have such a great mindset and your poetry shows such depth of soul. I hope that you continue to put your mind out there for review. I'm sure you've inspired quite a few souls through your writing. Keep it up and you are very welcome sir. :)

[Zakari Schmidt]

You flatter me.....blush and swoon.
Thank you so much
Feelings of gratitude.....

[Nikki]

haha I assure you I only meant what was deserved. :) Glad ta hear it.

[cinel]

Lovely lovely, i really love this, i agree with you.

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thanks for the read and review, I appreciate it!

[cinel]

You are welcome

[Emma Anderson]

Sorry it has taken so long to review, I have lots of requests and I'm slowly dealing with them all. It's a very interesting tale you've told. As far as I can see there are no errors in your grammar. Good work.

[Eliza Mae]

My, My.. what a delicious read. Very stimulating to the mind, this one. I can definitely appreciate your word choices here...

-Existence spent in recollection reflects on my bleeding heart-

I see this being a poem about man vs. man, an inner battle with one's self. Right or wrong? Morally righteous or rebellious freedom? My imagination leads to someone with an alter ego, a subconscious being, two halves of the same whole. It's wonderful. I love when Poetry and Psychology dance.

My only critique is this: The poem would be easier to read if the punctuation was consistent. Consistent punctuation allows me to read the poem in an easier flow pattern. Some times I felt like there was punctuation needed, so I could pause and allow the next line justice. Other times I didn't feel like punctuation was necessary. Here's one example:
"patiently waiting for your,
idle hands and swollen mind
Paralysis of your perception is
footage repeating time."
Placing a coma after "your" in the first line indicates I would pause before reading the next line, but instead the first and second line is all one sentence - no pause needed.

Other than the punctuation, the poem is flawless. BRAVO! I thoroughly enjoyed this one, my friend. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of reading it. :)

[Zakari Schmidt]

Thanks :D lol I'm bad about those comas, that's more like a mental weird thing for me cuz most of my poetry I write as songs. As an English major in college I do feel a bit silly cuz I'm usually a big grammar guy ha. But thank you again!!!

[Frontier]

I hope I can describe myself clearly...but you hit those points in the mind that are hard to pinpoint and manifest in words...you do it well lol.
It kinda seems to me...like someone who has grown "spiritually" is trying to communicate with someone who is still in the "bonds of manipulation" and "ego", and is like patiently waiting for them to rise up.
I may be wrong but that's sort of the feeling I get.

I like it very much. :)

[Zakari Schmidt]

You described yourself perfectly, thank you very much..I think you understood it and that makes me quite happy! Thank you again my friend :)

[AprilRN1210]

What an awesome write! oh my goodness! I love this tale spun from your creative imagination.. The flow of ideas was seamless and so vivid, I forgot I was reading a "poem" and got lost in the tale.. What a dark, twisted, delicious one it was too.. I am in love with the entire second stanza... that is sheer brilliance sir... I love this!!! well done, my friend...

[Zakari Schmidt]

Hey, I'm glad you liked it :) you flatter me lol. Gotta have a good story!! I've found brilliance in your writing too ya know.....haha

[AprilRN1210]

you're welcome my friend. I did enjoy, and thank you so sweet:)