Our Frozen Forever

Our Frozen Forever

A Poem by Mindless Mindset
"

You left me in the snow...

"

A broken whisper
It slowely fades away into the bitter air
And just as I had always feared
You fade away with it

I'm crying out for a small hint of the past
Something I can't really grasp in my shaking hands
But I want to see you again
And remember the beauty of those days

We had always carried eachother
And when we were together
I could see through the pain and loneliness of today
And somehow the fog would clear away

If I could bring you back
Everything would finally be okay again
But I've screamed your name a thousand times
And now I'm horse and slowly freezing

The snow is finally settling
A million crystals must have fallen since you left
And somewhere I'm buried under it all
Breathing as softly as a sleeping child

When time finally stops
Maybe I'll find you again
And we can carry eachother
Like we used to...

© 2009 Mindless Mindset


Author's Note

Mindless Mindset
This was inspired by the song Ain't Afraid to Die by Dir en Grey. I actually cried while writing this.

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Reviews

Aw. It felt so emotion packed. It was beautiful. I'd suggest taking out the "really" unless it's necessary for meaning in the second line of the second stanza. Otherwise, this poem is definitely a masterpiece.

Posted 15 Years Ago


It felt like you were suffering in this piece. Very well thought out, great flow to it. Only two things grammatically that I noticed, the second line in the first stanza, the word is spelled slowly and then in the third stanza first line, eachother needs to be each other, unless you really wanted it for your personal interpretation ^_^

A piece highly honoured!

Posted 15 Years Ago



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Added on January 4, 2009