My Heaven, His Hell Chapter One

My Heaven, His Hell Chapter One

A Chapter by Mindless Mindset

A profession turns quickly into an obsession to get what she desires.


Chapter One: Bleeding on Paper


It's so wrong. How this all started. It's so sick.... how it all ended.


All I wanted was him. Why was that so wrong? For me to have him all to myself. He should belong to me. I would take care of him. I would love him forever. He could've been mine. He should've...


I pulled into the school parking lot and parked my black MG into the spot closest to the little red sports car. His car. It was dark and windy outside, a storm would soon surface, and I was the only one around. I was late, again. My stupid apartment door had locked from the outside once again and I had to call my landlord. He was a nice man, in his late sixties. I called him Hal even though his name was Herald. He liked the name.


I grabbed my books and wrapped my coat around my shoulders, heading quickly for the school entrance. To everyone else, it was just a normal Thursday. But to me, it was the day that I would profess my love to the person I wanted more than anything and anyone.




I've loved Jamie ever since the day we met in our freshman year at Nixon High School. It was at the pining ceremony for honors students when I first laid eyes on him. Very tall and thin, brown round eyes and short brunette hair with blond highlights. His nose was pointed and his lips curved slightly downward as his name was called to recive his pin. I was captivated by his manner. From then on I made it my mission to find the reason for his unhappiness.


Over the next three years I tried desparately to get closer to him. After first seeing him I soon realized I was deeply in love. But I could never get close enough to him. He didn't notice me. He never did.


All those three years I watched from afar as his unhappiness grew and our relationship stayed the same. He dated a few people but none ever seemed to last. Nothing could make him happy. But I could. With each passing day I grew more and more desparate for his attention. For his love. I started following him home and watching him through his window while he slept... He looked so peaceful during that time. No unhappiness. Only peace.


So senior year, I decided I had to tell him how I felt.


A minute later, I stepped tentivly into home room and shuffled through the desks to get to my seat. My heart skipped a beat as it always did when I sat down behind Jamie. His long neck and attentive posture ignored me competely. I felt a shock of coldness run through me as my stomach twisted into painful knots. Maybe this was the wrong thing to do...


But I had let fear control me for three years now. I had to do it. I had to!


My fingers trailed soflty over the surface of the pink envelope in my coat pocket. Everything I've ever wanted to say....written on a single sheet of paper... initialed with my name in red.




This was the key to my heart. And I was giving it to fate.


An hour later home room was over and everyone was off to thier next class. I waited until Jamie left and then quietly followed him down the hallway to his locker. I hid behind a corner and watched him collect a few books and then lock it back and stride through the corridoors. As soon as he was completely out of sight I went to his locker. And just stood there, clutching the pink envelope tightly. Every possible fear ran through my mind at that point. This was a mistake, a horrible horrible mistake.


But something in me overpowered that fear.


My desire for him. I wanted him, so I had to do what was nessicary.


I quicly slid the envelope through the crack of his locker, hesitating for only a moment longer before quickly skipping off to class. I wasn't quite sure what I had just done.... but I wish I'd listened to my fears....


The next few classes came and went as I thought dreamily of what Jamie would say to me after reading my letter. I so desperatly hoped he felt the same way about me. During luch period I fled into the hallway and waited behind my corner for Jamie to show up as usual and put away his notes before eating. Three mionutes passed and I was close to giving up hope when he came through the cafeteria doors and headed straight for his locker. My heart pounded in my chest and my breathing grew shallow as I watched him open it and place his notes inside. Then he stopped for a moment and my heart skipped as he pulled out my pink envelope.


For the longest moment he only stared at it blankly. I was starting to sweat and tremble. I didn't know what else to do. He wasn't reading it, just staring...


I hadn't written anything on the cover... just a little heart in the center in red ink, same as the letter. I wondered what he could be thinking. He had to know it was a love letter. What else could it be?


I waited for what seemed like ages for him to move or change his expression. But he wouldn't do anything! But after a few more seconds to my surprise he finally did move. And I would've never guessed what he did next...


He threw it away.


Jamie simply stepped over to the garbage can across the hall and tossed it in, never reading it, never caring at all about what it said... And then he walked away.


Everything in me sunk down, lower than the floor, lower than the Earth, lower than Hell.


He had rejected me. Not even me really. He didn't even know it was me. And he really didn't care. All the hope that was ever in me completely vanished as I fell to the floor, sobbing. I was shattered by the one I loved. So where was the point in anything anymore?


School ended slower than it seemed it normally did. I skipped all of my classes and just hid out in the girls bathroom crying the entire time. But when the bell finally rang it signaled my freedom and I ran as fast as I could to my car. I didn't want to think about Jamie anymore that day. The rejection, the hurt.


I pushed quickly through the double doors of the schools entrance and what I saw stopped my dead in my tracks.


Jamie was with another girl.


She was tall and blond and they were laughing together! And she was hugging him! Her hands on my Jamie. And then it all became clear. Jamie didn't open my letter because he was already with someone. And she made him happy. He didn't need me to make him feel happy. He had her. And that should've made everything okay.


But it didn't...


Standing there on the steps of the schools entrance I knew two things. I was going to kill that girl... and Jamie was going to be mine.



© 2009 Mindless Mindset

Author's Note

Mindless Mindset
Okay, so I've come up with the theme song for this book. It's Vanishing by A Perfect Circle. Check it out! ^^ The last chapter will be done soon. ^^

My Review

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Featured Review

I think this is a great start to a book. All I really seen wrong was a few grammatical errors, which I will send to you in a message.. I was also a bit confused by the letter, when it you say that it is addressed Alice and then later you say it had nothing but a heart. Overall, it is a great write! Thanks for sharing.

Posted 10 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


You aren't talking about Jamie....from band right?

Posted 9 Years Ago

Oh my gosh this was amazing, but oh my gosh kill her? I cant wait to see what will come next! Yuo need to update or Jenny and I will hunt you down in the halls and force you to pick up a pencil and write...GOOD JOB BTW!!!

Posted 9 Years Ago

it's a great piece! at first i thought when i was reading this, i thought Jamie is a girl but then later on it's a guy. i was like thinking... omg, am i reading this wrong? lol but anyway, nice piece here and i was really surprised about the ending there! that gave me a shock! :D

~mokona (o^.^o)

Posted 10 Years Ago

I love it, its so awesome! I love it, I want the next chapter, like right now. It keeps me hooked, and it is faboulsy writeen

Posted 10 Years Ago

I think this is a great start to a book. All I really seen wrong was a few grammatical errors, which I will send to you in a message.. I was also a bit confused by the letter, when it you say that it is addressed Alice and then later you say it had nothing but a heart. Overall, it is a great write! Thanks for sharing.

Posted 10 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow. You really know how to capture a reader. The whole thing was suspenseful and made me want to keep reading more and more. The character's emotions were very clear and well described. The end of the chapter was a cliff hanger but in a good way. It makes your readers anxious to read more. You have a great plot going. Even though you had a lot of typos and grammatical errors, I think you are very talented and I can't wait to read more. Good luck with the rest!

p.s. review mine?

Posted 10 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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6 Reviews
Added on August 1, 2009
Last Updated on August 1, 2009