Chapter 1.1: The Opening continued

Chapter 1.1: The Opening continued

A Chapter by aaaa

Chapter 1 continued

"Oh come now, you have the audacity to ask a lady's name before introducing yourself. Come on Abe I know your mother taught you better than that. Well come to think of it knowing her maybe she didn't." She said with a sneer on her face while starring at him.

"How did you get here? And wait how do you know my name?!" he said now with a slightly accusing tone in his voice, he had picked himself off of his elbows and was now in a sitting position glaring at the girl.

"My name is Margaret." She said as she stood up.
Margaret... Margaret... Thought Abe as he looked up at her. She was tall, maybe a full inch taller than he. She had blond hair and Smokey gray eyes. Though it was her clothes that really intrigued him. She seemed to be wearing some sort of pants woven out of a blue material, Her shirt had sleeves that had seemed to have been cut short, which to Abe seemed strange. Why sacrifice good material when you needed it for other things, and what if her arms grew cold. Though against this sudden style onslaught Abe felt slightly uneasy. It was not as if he was in rags, his clothes were not even tattered despite him had having them longer than he could remember. He always kept loving care of them washing them in the spring near the door. They were simply Shepard's clothing made out of a nice sensible warm wool. Though now sensible seemed to be far less important than vibrant color and now he was feeling oddly underprivileged.

"You like my clothes?" She asked curiously while still staring at him. Abe's thought process was disturbed and he again stared up at her. "You probably have never even seen denim." She patted her pants. "Though you have probably seen cotton, but back then it wouldn't have been this fine."

"What?" he said now thoroughly confused. She reached onto her back where a strange pack was. It had to straps, one on each shoulder and was jet black, it had many pockets covering it's front with strange metal toothed things holding them shut. She took it off her back and squatted down as she placed it on the ground. She grabbed a tab attached to one of the toothed things and pulled it. It made a soft sound as the teeth came apart and revealed most black cloth. She reached into the pocket and took out a key. She got up and walked towards the door.

"No you can't do that!" Stammered Abe while getting up and running towards the door. She stopped in front of the door and stood there without turning around, but still not putting the key onto the lock.

"And why pray tell can't I?" She said while still staring at the door. Abe had to think about this for a moment, the door had never been opened. Though then again no one had ever tried to, he had only gotten two visitors before, both within a day of each other and complete opposites of each other. One was a large man cloaked in lights. He had been the one who had originally brought him here. The man had told him that he was to stay by the door, and it was a noble task and... A lot of other things but his mind had trailed off after that. The other had come to him to him a short while after the tall man had left. This one was old, his skin stretched taught around his skull and his eyes set so deeply back into his head that he seemed to have two caves on his face. He had asked him to come with him, that he would be honored and exalted, and that he would be the greatest prize that he would have over the tall man. Strange though now he could not remember either of their names, but no matter, the important thing was that no one had ever opened the door before and it seemed as if it should stay that way.

© 2010 aaaa

My Review

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This was the only mistake I could see in this chapter- the word 'staring'- has one 'r' I think;

Still an interesting story and like Abe I am curious as to whom this girl is, why she has a key, and what will happen after she opens the door?

On to the next chapter......

Posted 11 Years Ago

Great job. I feel like it was a really short chapter. maybe its just me, but either way I liked it. The character's personalities really sticck out to me.

Posted 11 Years Ago

wow this was really really....really good. (LOL) This was a very wonderful piece. It was strong and held a lot of power to it. (Does that even make sense? LOL) Keep on writing this is awesome!

Posted 11 Years Ago

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This was really good. I think it is strong. I can't wait to read more. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 11 Years Ago

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4 Reviews
Added on April 5, 2010
Last Updated on April 5, 2010
Tags: dreams, fiction, afterlife, gate, 4th, fantasy, margaret, cain & able, abe



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