Two Halves: Preface

Two Halves: Preface

A Chapter by aaaa
"

Two people, literally worlds apart.

"
It's Fall. Around him leaves slowly swirled. Their golden hues turning the landscape into a blinding spiral of color. The wind ran through the trees, and waves of leaves pushed themselves into the small stone square. The world was awash in colors. The stalks covered the dull gray masonry of the square. The squares which resembled some kind of sandstone, harvested like skin torn off of Earth.

Amid world awash with pigments stood a blotch of gray. A man walked down the small path into the square. His suit was pinstripe and well kept; his tie a deep blood red. He stood out among the world, as a salmon climbing the waterfall against the current. For he was walking into the wind, and the surges of leaves pushed against him trying to force him from the square. He walked unperturbed. A bronze plaque near the entrance of the square read "Gilgamesh Crossing". It was grubby and difficult to read. The man would not have been able to read it unless he had specifically walked over to it, and scrubbed the dull metal into some semblance of clarity.

In the center of the crossing was a card table. It was old, but its metallic legs appeared to be sturdy. Leaves formed drifts around it's legs, and several littered its surface. A heavy typewriter sat on top of the table. The man walked to this table, and looked around the square. As he pulled out the decrepit chair in front of the type writer, its feet scraped across the stone;
screaming in disapproval as the silence of the square was broken.


He sat in the chair and slowly scooted in. He lifted his hands and hovered over the keys of the typewriter. His hands stood like the claws of bird over a small rodent. He typed five letters H-E-L-L-O. Even though he pressed down the keys hard the small ink coated hammers didn't move. Slowly, as if it was barely moving one of the clubs began to move. It got closer to the white paper. The individual fibers of the stationery
curled over one another. The hammer caressed the sheet; leaving a black viscous "H" on the paper. Another stamp twitched. It moved faster than the last printing a "E" on the sheet. Finally as the brands punched out "HEY THERE"

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It's Spring. Cherry blossoms filled the air. The ground was covered in a pink blanket as the petals slowly floated to the ground. The entire forest was a field of pink. It was blinding. The flowers radiated the light reflected from the sun. In this ocean of white a pinpoint of black contrasted this pale sea. She strolled into the small clearing. The path was cobbled with river stones taken the nearby stream.

The clearing was merely four concrete slabs and rough stone benches arranged into was resembled a semi circle. These stuck out out the blanket of white oddly. Their gray giving contrast to the white, making it more vibrant. There was a card table in the center of the bench circle. It was old and wooden, and seemed to have been there for  long time.

On its surface lay a old fashion heavy type writer. Several sheets of paper had been loaded into it. She walked towards this stand and pulled out the chair in front of it. Comparatively this furnishing seemed to be like new; its shinning wooden surface gleamed from a polish of dark brown varnish. She brushed off a few cherry blossoms and sat in this chair.

Then she waited. Eventually the type writer began to move. The "H" gave a twitch. Then the "E". It had spelled out "HELLO" as she watched. She stared at these words lovingly. Then her fingers flitted over the face of the keys. Spelling out "HEY THERE".

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Hello


Hey there

Both the man and the woman breathed out a sigh of relief in their separate clearings. Both had thought the other would not come to the meeting. Even though the other had always arrived. On time, but both secretly feared the other leaving them.

How are you? The man typed his hands skittering across the keys like the legs of a crab in his urgency to type.

I'm ok. How are you? Typed the woman. We're making small talk, she thought. Neither of us knows what to say. I guess I'll have to be the one to take the initiative.

All the better for being able to talk to you. Typed the man. He had taken the first step, and it seemed as if both the man and the woman were thinking along the same lines.

I miss you. Typed the woman. Tears filled her eyes as she hunched over the type writer. Her tears stained the paper and caused the ink of his words to run. Their black streaks painting rivers of sorrow through the paper.

I know, but we can't be together. We wouldn't be safe.
The man typed. He knew this to be true. If they even entered the same plane of existence the auditors would find them. They were relentless.

But I miss you! The woman typed. Her hands were trembling, and tears rolled down her soft pale cheeks.

I know. Believe me I know. The man typed. His own desire to see her was slowly over turning his better judgment. He would have to cut it off here. For both their safety.

I have to go. Someone is coming.
Typed the man as he got up from the chair quickly. The leaves billowing around him as he pushed them out of the way. As he left the square he kicked a pile of leaved in his frustration.

Damn the auditors, he thought, One day I'm going to see her again. Just you wait!



© 2010 aaaa


Author's Note

aaaa
weird story popped into my head. Was wondering if I should continue or not.

EDIT: just to let ya all know. I'm not correcting old stuff. Instead I try to just to do better in the new material. The book gets better as it goes along.

My Review

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Featured Review

I noticed a few crits, but they didn't take me out of the story. I've received your read requests for the latter chapters, but I don't want to miss out on the beginning. I'll get to them eventually.
Interesting so far. I like the idea of instant type writing. Texting has nothing on this...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Sounds good to me and it leaves me wondering.... what was going to happen next. look forward to reading the first chapter and onto the next; I read the 36th so I may skip that one.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Congratulations! This book has been nominated for the very first Bright Award. We will get back to you on November 30th for the winner.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great concept! I'm gonna read on. The typewriter thingy reminds me of a TV show I like, "Fringe".

Posted 9 Years Ago


Do you correct for grammatical errors and such? Or...well, I'll go ahead and tell you: there were a few missed words. Not many, just one or two. No biggie.

"Amid world awash with pigments stood a blotch of gray." I think a 'the' should be put there. You were probably just typing fast (as fast the seperated lovers themselves) and missed it.

When describing the card table in the fall with the man, you used 'it's' instead of its. Again, fast hands. There were also a few more words that needed to be added but I figure you can go scout for them later. I want to get to cotent! But before I do, please be aware I am not trying to offend if I point out errors, just trying to be helpful! (Though for this first chapter I can't find many errors! :D )

Content: OMG THE STORY IS AWESOME!! I love that idea. Actually, I'm a bit mad I didn't think of it first, but finder's keepers, to each his own, and all that jazz. But the idea is just....lovely and you can already see how torn they are, how in love and desperate. And best of all, oh my gosh, YOUR DESCRIPTIONS! I have to highlight some, I have to! (Please excuse the many exlamation points and/or CAPS I use in my excitement!!)

Favorites: "Their golden hues turning the landscape into a blinding spiral of color."
The spiral aspect fits beyond perfectly, because I can see the leaves swirling and dancing, pushing and just...lighting up the place.

"like skin torn off of Earth." OMG NO CLICHE HERE!! THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING SIMILES EVERY! English Professors could use that as an example alongside Shakespeare and Frost and Blake and......IT IS FREAKING AMAZING!

I've got tons more but this is getting to be a really long review and I have to eat, but...I will be back to do this to all the other chapters!! I want more! I want this in print! THIS SHOULD BE IN PRINT! YOU SHOULD BE RICH! I love it. LOVE it.

P.S.: The reason I give it a 70 out of 100 is because this is just chapter one. I feel I will give an ultimate review at the end.......which will probably be 100!! :D

Posted 10 Years Ago


I noticed a few crits, but they didn't take me out of the story. I've received your read requests for the latter chapters, but I don't want to miss out on the beginning. I'll get to them eventually.
Interesting so far. I like the idea of instant type writing. Texting has nothing on this...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Keep up the great work...

Posted 11 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great start. You have grabbed my attention so i am going to read on when I have the time. The imagery was great, and the level of detail was good. I can see this turning into a promising work.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Alright, I'm in. I really like the typewriters. This was creative, and I am very interested to see what happens with their messages. Even though they are typing on paper it makes me think that it is very much like today's instant messaging rather than a letter the way that you wrote this. They are together and yet apart. I agree, editing can be done at the end of the book.

Posted 11 Years Ago


This s an interesting story line. I like the conceot of the auditors and how you left us without truly knowing who the man and woman are or why they can't be together. Nice use of suspense to engage the reader. My main criticism of this piece would be grammatical. There are places missing punctuation and it interrupts the flow of the story. I recommend going back over this to correct the grammar as previously suggested by sawreese and it will be ready to go. Good job!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Okay, instead of repeating what was already said it was a good story and will read some more.

Can You Hear The Silence?
22ND June

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on April 11, 2010
Last Updated on April 25, 2010
Tags: sad, adventure, Life, LGBT, Hate, Gay, Dark, death, epression, fantasy, fiction, heart, horror, lost, love, pain, poem, poetry, romance, teen, two, halves, science

Two Halves


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aaaa
aaaa

Tracy, CA



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