Two Halves: chapter 16

chapter 16 :D

 

He turned around and waved for us to go inside. The interior of the room seemed like a command station. Maps covered the wall, and it was covered with various markers and colored pieces of paper. Notes were tacked onto the wall next to the maps. Nicolas could not even tell what the maps were of they were so covered in indicators.

 

The Laughing Cowboy led them to a small table with a few chairs. It was wooden. The first piece of organic material he had seen since he had arrived. Though he was not able to appreciate it through the hundreds of coffee rings that covered its surface. He sat down in one of the chairs. Nicolas sat down in the chair across from him, and Zeckle followed suit. Bestalel stood standing behind them.

 

“So, our friend Bestalel has been telling me who you are.” he chuckled for a moment. “Believe me I wasn’t too keen on letting him in at first, but he can be quite persuasive. He has informed me that you are the Alchemist of the great clans of Earth-2, and I have one thing to say. Bull s**t.” His faced turned stony as he stared them down. His teeth clenched in anger.

 

“Who are you?" demanded The Laughing Cowboy. He had suddenly risen to his feet, and sent his chair skidding across the floor.  "The Alchemist died in the Blaze War. He was murdered by Tech-Mages from Earth-1’s military.” His hand reached down to his waist where a belt held two pistols. When his hand neared them the pistols began to blaze with stored magical energy. Nicolas could feel energy coming off in a steady pulse. Each pistol seemed to contain a demon, and a very angry one at that. The pistols were extremely volatile the energy was barely contained and small plumes of magic energy pushed its way out of the joints of the pistols.

 

There was a blur in the corner of his eye, and Zeckle was standing with her blade at The Laughing Cowboy’s throat. She pushed it against him and drew a thin line of blood. It trickled down the blade and dripped onto the floor. Zeckle smiled and licked her lips.

 

“Give me one reason not to kill you.” she breathed. The Laughing Cowboy’s eyes darted around the room. He was looking for an avenue of escape, but he discovered there were none and sighed.

 

“Stop, Zeckle. I can explain this,” said Nicolas from his seat. “It is true that The Alchemist died in the last blaze war. I am his son, and I inherited the title. My father gave his life for his clan, and now I shall be prepared to give my own for the same cause. We are trying to incite a second Blaze War, but instead of winning we are simply going to break the tie between Earth-1 and Earth-2.” The Laughing Cowboy raised an eyebrow, and reached up and grabbed the blade. He slowly forced it away from his throat and sat down.

 

“I’m listening.” he said with a manic grin. As he grew excited the magic coming from his hip began to increase. Whether it was intentional or not, he seemed to loom over them. He was a big man. He was tall and fairly heavyset. With a strong jaw and intense eyes line he had the look of a leader.

 

“I will take over from here. I am the representative of The Crying Saints. We request the assistance of The RustRiver Raiders for our campaign against Salex Corps.  Our payment shall be in the form of magical good. The total amount can number in up to thirty million in goods.” Said Bestalel as he stepped out from behind the chairs. He held out a stack of papers, which appeared to be a contract. He took the contract and flipped through the pages, weighing the sheets.

 

“Well, I have never been good with this legal mumbo jumbo.” He said as he tossed the stack onto the table, “I’ll have my guys deal with it later. I will only agree to your conditions if you allow me a condition of my own.” he pointed at Nicolas.

 

“I want to be sure you are who you say you are. Fight me. Let our magic clash, and I shall know who you truly are.” he said, and without waiting for an answer he got up and walked to a door leading to another room. He opened the door to reveal a huge ring. The floor of which was completely constructed of wood. It was over forty feet wide, and the line that marked its boundaries was drawn using a complicated system of runes. He would not have thought so much wood have ever been imported to the city. It would have been outrageously expensive.

 

“I can not allow this! I am to protect Nico-“ he was cut off in mid sentence by Nicolas.

 

“Sure, I’ll fight you, but I can not grantee your safety.” Nicolas said as he followed The Laughing Cowboy into the room. Zeckle laughed and stuck at her tongue at Bestalel before she followed. Bestalel sighed as he followed into the room. Several smaller rings surrounded the large wooden ring. These were not built with a magical seal, and did not have the fancy wood of the central ring. There was also a large amount of training equipment including a shooting range at the far wall, and all sorts of target dummies.

 

The Laughing Cowboy crossed to the opposite side of the ring. The runes parted for a moment to allow them both entry. They walked to the center of the ring and shook hands.

 

“Darris Raquel, known as The Laughing Cowboy. My specialty is Gun Magic.” he said confidently.

 

“Nicolas, known as The Alchemist. My specialty is Alchemy.” said Nicolas. The two of them continued to shake hands for a moment, and stared into each other’s eyes. They broke apart and walked to the two separate ends of the ring.

 

“This is going to be a knockout match. First one to give up or is deemed unable to fight losses. Yo! Bestalel, I trust you will be the judge.” yelled Darris. He held his hand to his hip and eased his grip over his pistols.

 

“Fine, but I will stop as soon as Nicolas’s life seems to be in danger.” he raised his hand, and Zeckle stood watching excitedly. “Three… Two… One… Begin” the two combatants spun around in a instant, and began their match.

Author's Note

sorry I couldn't release yesterday. For some reason I couldn't access writers cafe

Reviews

ok, this is still amazing writing. but the first part, where it talks about the table made out of wood being the first organic material he had seen...didn't it say earlier that the wood of the platform/elevator creaked as he got on? i mean it doesn't ruin the story or anything, and i doubt many people will catch it, but still, i got confused lol.
also, in the next paragraph where it says bestalel stood standing behind them, should it not be something like remained standing or stood behind them...? i don't think both should be there >.

[Daniel Gardner]

I am trying not to repeat myself on your stories but i have no choice. This is another fine addition to your story. Keep it up.

[James Watts]

“Who are you? The Alchemist died in the Blaze War. He was murdered by Tech-Mages from Earth-1’s military.” he had gotten up and knocked over his chair.( try a little revision here--“Who are you?" The Laughing Cowboy demanded, raising to his feet and sending his chair to the floor with a heavy thud. "The Alchemist died in the Blaze War! He was murdered by Tech-Mages from Earth-1’s military!” On his belt were two... Something like that.)

The pistols were extremely volatile the energy was barely contained and small plumes of magic energy pushed its way out of the joints of the pistols.(The pistols were extremely volatile, barely containing the small plumes of magic energy pushing its way out of their joints.---barely seems to be one of those-ly's that are necessary, but you can pop out a thesaurus or reword the sentence to see. I believe, though, that it is one of those that have to stay.)

“Stop Zeckle.(“Stop, Zeckle!)

he smiled manically.( remembered those -ly's-- he said with a maniacal smile.--there are many ways to rewrite this. This is only an example.)

Other than that, not too bad.

[Miss Coral]

Great ending, and great build-up. However, there were some instances that I thought could use some work. One of these was:

"Nicolas could not even tell what the maps were of they were so covered in indicators." Instead you could change the order, like this, "The maps were so covered in indicators, that Nicolas was unable to tell what they were supposed to show."

Overall, another great chapter. Nice job on keeping up the grueling pace!!

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

ooo i wanna read more!!!:)

[Dutch Jr.]

I like how you end each chapter, leaving just enough hanging to where the reader wants to read on. Keep it up, your story is coming along, and it seems as though your writing is also developing in the process.