Cardinal's Cross Part 6

Cardinal's Cross Part 6

A Chapter by aaaa
"

end of chapter 1

"
Most of the Cephalic he could see were of the worker class.  The alien race boasted a strict cast system enforced by the fact that there were several different sub species. They walked between the building quickly in an almost unpleasant to watch ambling stride. They were supported by a set of four triple jointed limbs, which seemed to be able to move in any direction. The lower segment of their body that supported the limbs was attached to the upper segment, giving them the look of an insectoid centaur. The two limbs sprouting from the upper body were equally as strange as the lower ones. Instead of coming from a shoulder they were attached mid way through the torso, and at their end were two manipulators, each with eight digits spaced equally around a flat palm. Though they did not use them to carry things. Most had a harness lashed onto their lower segment with a small wooden crate full of carious goods.

Many turned to look at the convoy of buggies, and did so by rotating their entire torso for they had no necks. Their heads were directly attached to the upper body, with a large horn reaching above their meager height. Each had two sets of sunken compound eyes. The blood red mirror like squares reflected the light with small glints. Most of the workers were simply going about their work, and did not stop to chat with their fellows. Though every so often there would be a small grouping of the Cleric subspecies conversing with one another.

They were tall compared to the workers, with the top of their head standing at roughly six feet, and their horn reaching above seven. Their language was a strange mixture of chattering noises and impulses made by the bulbous sack that topped each of their horns. From the information they also seemed to communicate in a form of chemical pheromones, which explained the pungent smell that surrounded the meetings. Though at intervals one would say a word in English, which sounded strange and high pitched when made through their four piece mandibles. From the extensive debriefing he had received before being shipped to the planet he had learned of these being’s staggering intelligence. Each cleric boasted an average IQ of one hundred and twenty, with a further subspecies known as the high cleric peaking at an average of one hundred and sixty. Though high clerics were nearly never observed and only existed in the largest of the mobile tribe nations.

The entire way to official mission he only say one of the soldier class. Which was understandable. They were much less intelligent than either the worker or cleric with only an average IQ of sixty, and no easy means of communication with others. This one was probably a genius among it’s kind.  Its head stood at nearly ten feet from the ground, and its horn was a massive spire almost two feet in diameter. Instead of the fleshy bag used to communicate it had several nasty looking barbs. Its body resembled that of a mobile battle tank, with boned carapace covering every square inch of both segments. Instead of the manipulators the other sub species had it instead had what looked like two enormous crustacean like claws. For the soldiers communication was done nearly entirely through pheromone receptors hidden below the plating, making their vocabulary sadly limited.

The only time they saw humans was at churches spaced at intervals through the camp. Instead of being made of the organomesh they were made of a dark granite like stone inherent to the area. In side buildings priests would pass out rations to a worker, who would put it in their crate being saying a thank you in both their language and in English.

Each of the recruits were at the edge of their seats watching the alien race go by. Their eyes were wide with the sheer excitement of seeing the strange creatures. The Cephalic settlement extended in circle out from the main mission. It housed approximately one hundred thousand Cephalic. The mission was founded on what had been the original Interstellar Exploration Agency’s base camp. Which was designed to be a fortress like settlement. After the church had taken over the base expanded slowly so that the outer wall was almost a quarter of a mile from the bases center point, and all of its building has been torn down and replaced with a magnificent chapel.

Though the convoy never made it that far. The barracks were at the outer edge of the human community. Over the intercom the force leader passed out the barrack assignments. Which would also decide which missionaries they would travel with. It was a blessing that they had finally arrived, because ever since he had woken up his leg had been asleep and a strange twitch had started in his left eye. He pulled beside barrack three where several other buggies were parked haphazardly.

He pulled himself out of the sitting position he had been locked in for four hours. Jessley hopped out from her buggy and walked over to him. The massage he was giving his left leg was doing nothing noticeable. The squad was getting out of the respective seats and Tony nearly fell out of cockpit. Four straight hours of piloting one of those things could be rough on the body.

“Ok, line up everyone.” He waited until they were all standing in front of him before continuing. They seemed disappointed that they were not going to be living among the Cephalic, but what were they expecting. Happily skipping through the tulips with the mantis like aliens, or cradling their young in order to show good faith. That brought up an interesting point, maybe they were big larvae when they were born. He realized he had been starring at them for nearly 30 seconds without saying anything, so he filed that thought for later. “It seems us and squads eleven and twelve will be bunking together. The mission is set to start in two days. We will be heading into the southern  forest, luckily it went through a burn cycle recently so it’ll be mostly easy travel. I don’t want anyone doing anything stupid tonight with the Cephalic so no leave until tomorrow. You all get to go have fun with the bug men in the morning.” He had seen over excited soldier do something unbelievably stupid to a local population. Their energy would be a little dulled after a good nights sleep, and he needed to give Tony an explanation anyway.

End of chapter 1, Cardinal's Cross


© 2010 aaaa


Author's Note

aaaa
I would really appreciate it if someone would mail with some proof reading. It's hardest to catch your own mistakes so I would love it if someone was willing to help me out :D

Sorry, if there are any spelling mistakes. It's late and I'm to tired to do a once over right now. I'll do it in the morning.

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Reviews

Awwwww, I can't keep reading. Cast system is spelled caste though.

Posted 10 Years Ago


i am in awe of your imagination, attention to detail without overwhelming the reader but taking them through a mystical world through your writing.

Posted 10 Years Ago


One of the best chapters I have read so far:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Overall good continuation. Things should start heating up soon it seems. I like the detail you used in describing the Cephalic. Also I like the idea that the classes are physical. Fits perfectly with the insectoid descriptions.

Posted 10 Years Ago


on charactor- i suggest you pick up a richard k morgan novel if you haven't read him yet that is- my favorite is 13, but any will do... i think you'd enjoy his charactors and you'll see what i mean with jessley, though i think it may help define the male charactors as well...
as for direction- I think we need a clearer understanding of what thier mission is. they're bringin christianity to the aliens? with weapons. clarify the danger for us. what are they expecting? make us afraid adn excited for them...

Posted 10 Years Ago


onto content- i think you need to clarify the charactor Jessely. the machismo is dripping from these pieces and not just because you're in a military scenario. make her stonger- not the token female- and you'll add a much needed complexity to the story. these types of stories are magnets for stereotypes and to keep your readers interested in your charactors you need to stretch them- give us something unexpected.

Posted 10 Years Ago


heres a review for the sections 2-6. overall very interesting. I like that you're starting to have confidence in your readers and are shying away from over explaining. if you don't tell too much we get to invent more in our mind and own it a bit more- keeps a reader interested you know? now, heres a suggestion for how to catch &correct the grammar/wrong tense/spelling and word mis-use errors that tripped me up while i was reading- read through your piece backwards, one sentance at a time. each sentance should stand on its own. its tedious, but good writing comes from good editing.


Posted 10 Years Ago


haha this is amazing and very creative,
I read it yesterday and I havnt have time to review it. lol
anyway well done!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I'm the first to review! LOL It's good, great description of the settlement... maybe give more detail about what "unbelievably stupid" thing an over-excited soldier did or allude to it a little less clearly, e.g. "He'd HEARD of over-excited...... " unless, that's something you're going to get into later, in which case, ignore me LOL! All in all, a great continuation.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on July 23, 2010
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