Addiction

Alchohol Addiction

You're everywhere 

I see you at family parties

I see you by my father's side 

I see you on TV 

You used to seem cool, everyone knew you

We met in middle school 

You helped with the pain 

The stress

And all the bullshit 

We were inseparable freshman year 

I couldn't sleep without you 

Because of you 

My life was hell 

You ruined my relationships with my friends and family 

But I needed you 

It got so bad that we snuck around together 

Few knew about me and you 

You introduced me to drugs 

You made me contemplate suicide multiple times 

You made me hit rock bottom 

So I stopped being with you 

I started hanging out with the right people

I stopped doing drugs 

Cold turkey

It was hard but my life became so much better

When I made the decision to never be with you again  

I admit you made me feel good 

Sometimes I actually miss you 

You changed my life 

So this is a warning

Don't make the same mistake I did

If you see alcohol, don't get to know him 

Or else you might get addicted too

Reviews

[Donna]

This is a good message for people. I never drank alcohol, but I was into drugs for over 20 years, I can relate. I was in and out of jail and didn't care. This was many years ago and my life is not perfect, but it is sure better without drugs and all that comes with it.

[Zayir]

This is a combination of a poem, story and message. Congratulations on becoming clean and staying on straight and narrow. I know hard it is
Much Love

[alienated.aquarius]

i really like this one, how love is a drug in its own sense when dealing with chemical addiction. when they intertwine it can be heart-wrenching. people and pipes and pills are sometimes unhealthy habits we can't break.

[Zayir]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. It can be a very had habit to break but with support and patience it can be done. Thanks for your review

Much Love

[Black Kat]

I really liked this. At first, it sounded like a boyfriend, but in the end, you gave us a nice twist. I love that. Great piece.

Here are a few suggestions I have. You don’t have to use any of them, they are merely just suggestions.

* The “on my dad’s nightstand” sounded a little strange to me at first. Like, if this was your boyfriend (like you seem to be striving to make it appear early on), why would he be on your dad’s nightstand?

* “You seemed to be really cool, everyone knew you” I’d say, “You used to seem really cool” because it was a past opinion of yours. You know better now.

* And this one. “I couldn't sleep without you.” I’d say, “without a taste of you”. Otherwise, it sounds like you’re literally sleeping with alcohol, which sounds slightly awkward. Ha ha, or maybe that’s just me.

* I’d also switch these two lines. “My life was hell” and “Because of you….” Start with “Because of…” it seems to flow better.

* “It got so bad that we were together in school”. Maybe say “snuck around together” or something that implies secrecy. Otherwise, if the reader is thinking this was a boyfriend, they'd already know you were in school together. It would also tie into the next line when you say, “few knew about…”

Also, I would use the “addiction” or “addicted” somewhere within the piece to tie in the title.

[Zayir]

Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I really appreciate the criticism, and how you thought to change it. I will keep these in consideration. I will update the poem soon

Much Love

[Black Kat]

You're welcome! Glad I could help.

[Indra's Child]

I used to party hard every night, and alcohol... I can still have a few. My problem was coke. To this day, if I see some, I've got to numb myself before I feel that premature rush that makes me want to take as much as I can handle.
But it all fucked up my life a little more than I'd like to admit.
This is good, even though the title is 'Addiction' it more or less makes you think of the antagonist in the storyline as a person, making the reveal kind of shocking at the end.

[Zayir]

That was the point. I congratulate you for being clean and recognizing that you needed to stop. I was thinking about naming the poem Adam but someone suggested I just use the name "Addiction" as it's more straightforward on the explore page.
Much love

[dreamisnowhere]

This makes people aware that the best feelings are not always the right ones. Great work!

[Zayir]

Thank you! That is definitely the case with drugs/alcohol and sometimes even sex. Appreciate the review Alexis

[Ariana Omnomnom]

I know so many friends and family members who have been afflicted by substance abuse and it ruined their lives, many of them already suffering with mental health issues that predisposed them to addiction as a whole. I have a spending addiction which consequently landed me in overwhelming debt. I've been working on it but I know I spend to fill a void, I'm just glad that debt can be completely reversible, as a lot of substances can tackle you with life long aftereffects and symptoms. I don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs and never have both because I never felt the desire, but also because of a fear of ending up in a worse situation than I have already been in. This was a good read.

[Zayir]

There is so much stigma behind substance abuse and often times (like you said), people who suffer mental illnesses resort to substance abuse. I am so glad to hear that you are doing better and are working on your addiction. I love hearing people tell me they never will do drugs or drink. It's just better to stay away from those things and live life. I'm glad you enjoyed it
Much Love

[Ariana Omnomnom]

Thank you. ❤️