To be alive

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To be alive isn't just to be alive and kicking
feeling your own legs and limbs.
To be alive is to
percieve the sights and sounds
that those who have kicked the bucket can't appreciate
until resurrection and the long wait for heaven's gate

God's most precious gift to us
Is life which He breathed into our souls.

But to be alive is to thaw
the frozen cold heart
with the warmth of feeling
coz we aren't born coldblooded.

Alive is
the sense of hearing
that hearkens not just the artificial violin
but the natural songbird's birdsong.
To see not just the obvious, the apparent
but as well to see with the eyes of wisdom.
To not just gaze at silver screens and the telly all day
But rather to gaze and observe all of nature's scenery and sights around you,
Let us not be the living dead....

To feel not just your own skin,
to not spend life touching cellphones
but rather employ the sense of touch
to feel petals and other critters.
To be alive isn't to smell your own breath and sweat
but to inhale all the distinct fragrances of nature.
And to taste not merely of the artificial flavors
of fizzy pale poison refined sugar's sodas
but to cup your hands to taste the raindrop!

Do I in anyway imply by this that those born blind, deaf or dumb are less alive?
Never! For I've seen the blind appreciate divinely created nature far more than the seeing.
For to the blind every sound is precious,
for every voice they are grateful.
And every touch has meaning...
For a missing and lacking sense or organ is compensated by the activation of the other senses or organs.
I had a domestic helper who was deaf
yet so smart and more eagle-eyed, keen and alert about happenings around her

Be alive with all your God given senses
Don't wait to be deprived of even one,
to appreciate them.
For senses like limbs, freeze and can get impaired
when they're not in usage.
God created this world for our toil and to appreciate life as a divine present,
We must thank Him for granting us existence
so we deserve the next life in heaven.

The spirit of poetry guides my inking I feel
it tells me what to jot down from m my myriad thoughts

Author's Note

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Reviews

[.]

I like the quotes. Saw you on the home-page. Well liked this so much.😀 Simply I'd say it's like finding hope in darkness... Umm alliteration in an unrhymed poem (just example) This is a different one from alliteration... Great Write hope you'd like to see my page as well.😉
Good Luck!

[.]

There's someone else here to be the reason. Focus on you critique... :) you'll do great.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Sorry I don't get u. What reason and what someone else? Warmest thanxx for your fine comment on my poem.

[.]

nevermind. :) You're doing really well.

[Chris]

Truisms and stoicisms... valid and to be valued thoughts. But be wary of "telling" it often comes across as talking down to another than talking with an other.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

I get you sir, maybe I should change ' yous ' more to we, coz I certainly need to remind myself of this. Yet trust me I'm not the only one who gives advices, I've read poems here full of good advice in didactic tones so I hope you don't think I'm the odd one out.
Thanks soo much for your great eloquent comment, cheers!

[Chris]

"We's" might work better - would have to listen to the new tones of your words. And yet having a work centered upon exhorting advice seems best when undertaken in smaller portions and more personal situations.

[.]

I am not really a fan of these sorts of philosophy-lite styles of writing. Quite often all that is written is basic common sense and oft repeated words and themes.

Your message here is strong; to engage with life with all our senses before we lose them and succumb to our end. It's true that when one loses a sense the others compensate for its loss and become sharper than the norm. So we should always embrace life and all it has to offer.

Some of your language reads a little blunt; "those who have kicked the bucket can appreciate...", it could use a little more finesse and as a whole the piece should resist straying too far from your initial idea. A write becomes a laborious read when one goes off on different tangents of thought. Just something to consider for next time.

Overall, a nice moral contained within.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Hmm I always thought philosophy and common sense are very different and paradoxical together so I'm surprised you think I've included both, because philosophy is deep complex thoughts while common sense is the easy obvious. My poem might be common sense, a lot of poems are , trust me, but don't we need reminders to connect with nature in a world that is going away from it? I do.
And I didn't know kick the bucket is blunt, I thought your comments are too yet I love them nevertheless, coz to me to hear sth from a great poet/ poetess like you is better than nothing. So I would always like to have your views . As for being laborious I've read more laboriously lengthy writes here, so I hope you don't think I'm the odd one out.
I didn't see how I digressed from my topic, my topic throughout is being more in touch with nature with all our senses do maybe you could have explained how and where it went on a different tangent.
Thanks ever so much for a review that could help me improve via your criticism.

[.]

The term i used was, "philosophy-lite", meaning written in that style of thought but without the deeper depth of meaning. In such a case it becomes a reminder as you said, but to others its common sense. The line "kicking the bucket" is almost slang in itself. Yes, your meaning is understood, but there are finer ways to express that point...passed on, passed away etc. Its just a matter of finesse, because all of us have lost loved ones and 'kicking the bucket' is not how a poet/writer should describe it as being. As for the tangents of thoughts? It just strays a little. From the idea of being alive, embracing life, then to comments about God, then about senses, then defending your use of senses, then a personal tale of a domestic helper......then back to your original idea. Its a winding path instead of a straight one, and while the read was NOT laborious, it can become laborious if an extended piece strays too far from its path. That is all i meant by my words. Perhaps let people read your writes at their leisure, pass their thoughts the same, instead of pleading for them. That way you will get thoughts and comments that are always in the positive because your writing would have moved the reader to comment, instead of asking them to.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Oh ok will check that out, that's a new word for me. And I feel what I wrote is not common sense since I see most modern adults stuck to the phone or some internet gadget and only poets appreciate nature more, I tell you. Many don't follow common sense then. Yeah kick the bucket is slang but I don't feel it is blunt.
And I still don't think it strays from my theme, coz God is part of life and life's gifts , both life and senses are gifts from Him as I and many believe. And the line about the domestic helper is to show how even without one sense other senses work better.
So though this is laborious indeed I feel the theme is coherently connected throughout. Not that winding away from topic is unpoetic, I have seen many poems veer and wander from topic yet win trophies for it.
And trust me I'm on many poetry sites and poets rarely comment on my poems unless I request it. And I mostly always get positive comments so your criticism feels good for a change. I have tried commenting on poems without asking for return of favour but noh got no comments that way.
So best wishes,

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

This is truly beautiful so true and descriptive

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

I'm glad you think so. Warm thanks for comment. Take care.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Just read this
If one is having an off day
Reading it helps to
Make positive thoughts

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'To be alive'
S zaynab kamoonpury,
This was a halpful and and affirming tribute to the gift of life! We who live and walk this planet know this. We know the beauty of life. Troubles get in the way for many and it is something disturbing but I have to hope for the good of humanity. Lovely writing.
Kathy

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Warm thanks for your comment, I like your outlook on life despite it's troubles. Take care.

[R.J Calzonetti (Siniste..]

Some things people take for granted truly need to be appreciated. We only have this life to truly live. Given such, time is a precious commodity, we must share in it in a way that is meaningful, or we will have no higher purpose, no reason to be here, unless we make one ourselves.

The poem was from a place of knowledge, it seems you truly love life. I wish that people like you were the ones teaching our children. Rather than those who wish to be knowledgeable, to wish to live is crucial to life. Without knowing life, how can you know anything? Living is learning.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanks so much for adding to this and reaffirming the value of life. There's an afterlife I believe in but we have to live this life with appreciation. Best wishes,

[gram linski]

Great poetry and imagery, we should all be in touch the wonders of Nature,

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

And wow, I like how you put it, yes we should stay in touch with nature. Thanks so much for great comment!

[Hasan669]

A very lengthy poem, and a religious one. I agree with the ideas expressed, and I like the use of words that convey vivid images in the reader's mind. There is also a use of similes for example in the last stanza where the senses are likened to limbs. I enjoyed this poem.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanks for your comment, well this isn't as religious a poem as my others, it's more on appreciating nature as created by God. Ok God bless,

[Dave]

There is so much wisdom and perception contained in your writing. I too agree that in no matter what shape or form it comes we must appreciate all the God has given us.

Take care - Dave

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Thanks soo much for a great noble comment! Best wishes,

[jacob erin-cilberto]

there are so many forms of life and so many life forms...
God allows us to breathe for a time, and it is up to us to take advantage of that time by giving to others and by appreciating all that is around us.
it goes fast...and as i am aging i feel it going even faster...the senses need to be used or they definitely will freeze....this poem is a plea to live to the fullest...
and to let others live as they will, as well.
nicely done,
j.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Yes you got it well and added your summing so nicely, thanks so much for your thoughts on this!

[Lydia Shutter]

Beautifully written spiritual thoughts. Yes, we must appreciate all that we have every day. Lydi**

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Warm thanks for your nice lovely review of this poem Lydia. There was a typo so I retyped it.