Too close

Too close

A Poem by _mal

Brown laced with black
small
stripes and spots contained within a
thin dark ring, the colour shrinks
the more I stare

at it. a colour that shines
 been told it’s pretty beneath
that delicate orange,
lighter

depending on the angle beneath
that Nothing, maybe white maybe
feeling   may be just a space to fill
That pupil
void a worry black reflecting

empty, searching tilting Head maybe
that’s where human is
darkness growing until

I’m watching back glancing down the mirror
    this face is wrong
body so alien and long the closer
we get the more ugly I see empty
eyes pretending

scars are purple worms and
 
slugs running hip to tit a
freckle. Down, down to legs spread
apart
ankles together sneaking fat
around the sides. A cut just starting to
join together
stop shining up at me all
 pink white
under layer getting
thicker further on

like it hurt. Like

 Liar this body is

telling stories. Pretending it is full and occupied
today
these hands aren’t mine. I’ll close those eyes and echo
practised answers 

© 2012 _mal


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...
. oh, this is just beautiful ... moving and skillful ... i know this feeling so well ... but i couldn't have expressed it as precisely and poetically in a million years ... and the last eight lines ... are especially brilliant ... profound and powerful ... you own your art ... and inspire ...

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Completely genius. The feeling of detachment from everything, from the body, from the mind, from the concept of self, everything. It's overwhelming. It's like a concept sketch or an abstract painting, in poem form... The real intent and feeling is buried in aesthetic flow.

Posted 12 Years Ago


a very exceptional piece; really outstanding, and so beautifully written.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

So glad you shared this with me. Love the breaks in sentences. A lot of people don't, but I feel it creates punctuation and rhythm to the words when they need it most.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
...
. oh, this is just beautiful ... moving and skillful ... i know this feeling so well ... but i couldn't have expressed it as precisely and poetically in a million years ... and the last eight lines ... are especially brilliant ... profound and powerful ... you own your art ... and inspire ...

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice work. The imagery is palpable.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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182 Views
5 Reviews
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Added on August 8, 2011
Last Updated on January 5, 2012
Tags: me
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Author

_mal
_mal

It's all for sale , New Zealand



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A Poem by _mal


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A Poem by _mal


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