Me, My Self, and iT.

A girl with a dangerous Illusion... That eventually killed her.

I laughed at the little girl that cried.

The one who felt deep emotion.

But the thing I saw in her eyes.

Was a quite mysterious devotion. 

I always thought of myself, in the beginning I must say, as a regular person. A person that went to school, lived a life, and had any other problems that a regular person would of had. Thou, I shall say I am an Orphan, doesn't show much speciallity in that. Then I thought. I stopped so cunningly as i began to think, For I was just another person. 

    "Another person..." I whispered constantly. Another person, in this whole wide world. I was no one but a little dust mite, I was just one of many...

    "Nothing special" I whispered to myself. I was a great thinker. A marvelous one. I could imagine anything out of this world. I wanted to make it real... I had to. 

    "...but...I'll just be another person...with a big dream..."

    I tried smiling at myself in my mirror. Not a Smile or a giggled pasted by. 

Suddenly I laughed.

 Its funny how its so terribly easy to make yourself feel alone.

I Stopped Smiling. 

I was alone.

I hate myself. I'm useless. I Should die. 

Its been 3 weeks since I've been thinking of my loneliness. No one talked to me. No one Wanted to. No one will. After that day, I've learned how to make myself not feel lonely anymore. I think I've learned too much. I've created something that talked, that moved, that felt... 

I've created "it". 

Day 1.

At first It was creepy. It didn't talk at all. It didn't move. It layed in the corrner against my mirror. Oh, and I was frightened... frightened more than anything. It didn't move for 3 days. One morning I woke up to see It watching down on me. It spoke in a whispering voice and stared at me. It didn't have eyes, but I could just feel it.

"...you're not alone anymore...I'm here... We can be the bestest friends right?"

I stared in silent. I was overwhelmed.  It was just a shadow, that happens to talk. I knew nothing about craziness. It was just an opportunity. I wasn't alone at all, It was here for me...

Day 5

Today was Sunday, and I layed in my bed as i stared at "it". "It" was at its corner again humming a song. The orphanage directors haven't found "It". I'm so happy.  "It" and me talked the whole day that day. When the other little boys and girls peeked through my door they called me bad names... Horrible names... I was sad... "It" saw my tears and told me to hit them, hit them really hard... And i did. I was hesitant of hitting them, but "It" said violence was the only way. The other children ran away from me, one was bleeding on the nose. I was worried but "It" said they deserved it. "It" was very pleased with me. I was happy. 

Day 7

I was scolded several times today. I punched a few of my classmates and they snitched on me. "It" said hitting them was a good thing because no they think of me as tough. Besides that, my report cards came out... I've failed so many classes. "It" smiled at me and whispered "whatever". I said the same as the other children stared. "It" says when she gets bigger and older like me, "It" will beat up the other children. I am waiting for that day. I was happy.

Day 14

Today it was my birthday. "It" was the only one who remembered. We played Pretend birthday party. Playing was fun and I had the most delicious cake in the world. I skipped school today  to talk to "It" the whole day. I told "It" what my dreams were, my favorite colors, everything. Then i got curious and asked "Well, how about you? what do you like?" "It" looked at me strangely. It seemed mad too. There was silence... After a few minutes "It" began speaking and said the exact same things as me. I was pleased. We love the same things. "It" must be my best friend. I was happy. 

Day 36

This week was the worst. I Stabbed the teacher for insulting me and "It". I explained that doing so was an accident. Everyone believed and me and "It" laughed the rest of the day.  I also stole some food from the lunch room, money was unfair, and "It" told me to. I ate my share of the food but "It" Just looked at its food. I only went to class once this month and acted sick every morning. The only reason I went to school because they were threatening me if I didn't get better they would send me to a hospital. "It" laughed at them, so i laughed too. The boy I liked went to say hi to me at my dorm. He heard me talking to It.  he laughed, so i slapped him. He yelled at me violently "I thought you were nice!!! What happened to you?!" I kept hitting me as "It" watched with pleasure. I didn't want to stop. The next day the boy was sent to the hospital, and I was blamed for it. The next next day, I decided to help a little girl with some easy math. "It" looked at me with despise. "It" seemed so disappointed. The next day i woke up and "It" was gone. I was alone. I was not happy. 

Day 58

After 3 days, I woke up to see It looking at me. I tried hugging "it" for the first time but "it" told me not to. Today I learned that the boy died today. I was sad, but whenever I tried talking about the boy, "it" smacked me. "It" told me not to remember him because he was a selfish stupid B*tch. I didn't understand but I had to believe. "It" seemed stronger this week. 

Day 66

Today the director told me someone was going to adopt me. I was happy, but "it" wasn't.  "it" told me that they will take me away from "It". I didn't want to leave "It", I loved "it". That night, "It" Told me to kill the director, because if  the director talks to the adoption lady, the lady will adopt me. So the next night "It" said that "it" will meet me next to the director's office and that I had to bring a knife. I agreed and went to sleep with a knife in my hand. 

Day 66 12:00 Am. 

I was sitting against the door of the director's office with a knife in my hand. The night was calm and silent. I heard the director talking on the phone with the lady. 

"yes, she is a nice girl, but lately she has been acting very weird...or even crazy..but she is no harm, she has an imaginary friend..."

I gripped tighter to the handle. "It" is Not imaginary, And No, I am not crazy. 

I opened the door quickly looked the door behind me. I Smiled at the director and he looked at the knife in fear. I ran and pushed the bookshelf with all my might towards him and he fell backwards with a small yelp. I smiled at his own pain. I looked around while I listened to his breaths. "it" wasn't there, but I'll have have to do it without "it". I cunningly moved some books away and penetrated the director several times in the back. Then I stopped and listened to his breath. There was nothing. The deed was done.

I opened the door to see "It" there looking at me and my blood clothes. "It" spoke softly, "I told you...to wait for me..." I felt shame and I felt untrustworthy. "It ran upstairs to my dorm. I ran and screamed. I was afraid to be alone again, I can't let it happen. I ran as fast as i could and ran into my dorm looking for "It" with the knife still in my hand. I screamed, "IT!!! WHERE ARE YOU!! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" I dropped to my knees and started pouring out tears. I grabbed anything i could and threw it against the wall. One of my books hit the mirror and "It" Appeared in the mirror. I crawled over to my mirror and looked at "It". I whispered, " I'm here...I'm sorry..I should of waited..." There was silence. 

. . .

. . .

. . .

"It" came out of the mirror and grabbed the knife.

"It" slashed my throat.

My eyes widened.

The blood dripped from my neck fast.

Though, it seemed like for hours.

I looked at the mirror one last time.

"It" Spoked for the last time.

"You want to know how i look like under this shadow?"

I nodded.

Silence.

. . .

. . .

. . .

"It" suddenly faded away and All I could see was my reflection in the cracked mirror.

I stared at my own reflection.

Blood everywhere on my shirt.

Blood stained hands.

Blood.

It was the last time I saw "it". 

It was also the Last time I saw my Reflection. 

End.

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Author's Note

Yes i will edit this, this weekeend. For those who didnt understand it thorouly, here is what it actually all meant: "it" was herself, she was so lonley that she made up this character to support her denial in being alone. She always acted normal (said in exposition) but she believed that her normalness wasnt enough for attention. She turned bad,(made "it") to get all these attention. So yes she did kill berself at the end. The moral is that, no one is lonley, no one is forever alone, all you need is patience.( hint: when she says "i should of waited" and that somene was gonna adopt her anyway) i will fix errors and i did this in an hour so dont mind the incomplete details, i will fix it.
Pls review n give points~
love, patti
ps. If you. Can't be happy, try to be just a bit happier(:

Reviews

[Death Stalker]

It's somewhat creepy, but cool.