Hideaway

A Villanelle about a peaceful life with a few regrets.

Hideaway

When I grow tired of the life I spend,

you take me in, and I choose to forget

what trudges on outside against the wind.

This morning we woke up at dawn to tend

to red clams surfing in your kitchenette.

Each day they try to taste the life we spend.

Tonight we’ll glimpse the moon--the sun’s his friend.

Just watch as they eclipse in their duet

while we walk on beneath them in the wind.

Back home when I sit, willing Time to bend

the hours--bridge the minutes, I regret

to say I’m weary of that life I spend.

At noon you practice music in your den,

unpicking knotted heartstrings. I forget

what trudges on outside against the wind.

If truth I banish, there’s no way to send

it back. I feel no shame in hiding, yet

when I wear out, the time I failed to spend

will still trudge on, neglected, in the wind.

Author's Note

Aaron
[email protected]

Reviews

[Yuan]

Oh my god, you continue to amazes me, the last stanza is divine! its so romantic, yet a touch of something.. foreboding that could end such a lovely couple's retreat. a Perfect Ten! oh and just so you'd know, I rarely am this generous and nice in regards to people's poetry, consider yourself talented and a poetic communication established successfully with respect and acknowledgement. =)

[M.D]

ohoh, in 3rd Stanza I would add Venus; it's mythological + astronomical meaning match here. It is in constant hideaway except i think dawn. =)

[M.D]

Reminds me of Croatia. like!

[An owl on the moon]

You create such a wondrous rich journey into self and a place of escape... There is the beauty of the world that speaks into the soul.

[Pradnya]

HEY NICELY WRITTEN, BEAUTIFUL EXPRESSION OF FEELINGS, JUST TOO GOOD

[Daydreamer54]

Awqesome! This was very poetic and deep and the first time i've seen someone else write a villanelle. i wrote one,but i don't think it's as deep as this! great write! ^^

[Stonewall]

A nice piece. It sort of drifts between contentment and regret. I particularly liked the second last stanza, 'unpicking knotted heartstrings'. Nice work.