One more evening

Or, The Autumn of Life

When golden days have changed to brown,

And months have worn old autumn's cloak;

When years have strolled through grassy hearts,

What memories do they evoke?

 

When evening dawns on lawns of life,

The sun entangled in their leaves;

When days are long like empty songs;

Will you then hum these tunes we weave?

 

When manes are grayed by winds of change

And youthful laughter starts to cease;

When thoughts are hindered by the past,

Will time corrode the bonds of peace?

 

We painted rhapsodies of dreams

Like murals on the walls of time.

Will autumn spare these tapestries

And let our words forever rhyme?

 

We do not know what autumn brings;

For one more evening, let us live

And celebrate till time expires, 

And learn to cherish and forgive.  

 

Author's Note

Iambic tetrameter. My favorite foot and meter :)

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

"When days are long like empty songs;
Will you then hum these tunes we weave?"

Abruptly made me feel woebegone :(

"We painted rhapsodies of dreams
Like murals on the walls of time."

Once again, Abdul's definition of beauty ;)

"We do not know what autumn brings;
For one more evening, let us live
And celebrate till time expires,
And learn to cherish and forgive"

Somehow I feel this one incomplete.. Maybe because I crave for more from the poem and it ended quickly, can't express it exactly, but nevermind.

Cupid bless you, bro :) Toda para ti? (It's Portuguese for 'What more can I say?'.. I use it often because it spells nice!)

[Coyote Poetry]

A outstanding poem. I like the wisdom in your words. Last line is the real truth. We need to cherish and forgive to have a good life. I enjoyed this poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

This is a beautiful poem and a good message for all.
I am sorry, I know nothing of poetry form.. but I like the style.
I had a friend on here who was teaching me poetry forms but she left.

I like the line ' will you hum these tunes we weave'..
The poem flows smoothly .. very enjoyable.

Chloe

[Julijana Velichkovska]

We do not know what autumn brings...
my favorite time of year :)

[Tomás Ó C..]

Done excelently, if I may say so, the rhyme, the flow... just awesome!!!

[Ashley.M.E]

this is another good poem, well done =)

[Adelia Alighieri]

"When manes are grayed by winds of change
And youthful laughter starts to cease"
"We painted rhapsodies of dreams
Like murals on the walls of time."

These were my favorite lines :) Standing 'O'
Great job; keep it up. Kudos.

[emily joe]

i love this. you have such a gift with words!

[Jasmine]

stunning...you have a way with words.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I think it was lovely how you stretched the entire essence of autumn to something more than just their relevance to nature and trees.Like nature love and life have their seasons too.There are some lovely phrases,
We painted rhapsodies of dreams

Like murals on the walls of time.

Will autumn spare these tapestries

And let our words forever rhyme?
You have a very good sense of vocabulary as i have always said,it always does play to your benefit.

[LOUDENCLEAR]

I usually am not too fond of rhyme, but this is an exception. It evoked that autumn feeling inside me: things are changing-getting ready to die and be reborn in spring. It always seems that once winter hits, rebirth takes forever and one has to survive the cold, bleak (if you live in Northeast), damp, chilling death. I like that last few lines that seem to say to me: we must enjoy what we have while we have it because ephemeral are the moments of bliss. I also want to thank you and show my appreciation for your thoughtful reviews of my writing; they really make an impact. I will read more. I have been so scattered and busy lately. I like this one. It really linked atmosphere/emotion well. These are just my thoughts. Everybody interprets writing differently.