One more evening

Or, The Autumn of Life

When golden days have changed to brown,

And months have worn old autumn's cloak;

When years have strolled through grassy hearts,

What memories do they evoke?

 

When evening dawns on lawns of life,

The sun entangled in their leaves;

When days are long like empty songs;

Will you then hum these tunes we weave?

 

When manes are grayed by winds of change

And youthful laughter starts to cease;

When thoughts are hindered by the past,

Will time corrode the bonds of peace?

 

We painted rhapsodies of dreams

Like murals on the walls of time.

Will autumn spare these tapestries

And let our words forever rhyme?

 

We do not know what autumn brings;

For one more evening, let us live

And celebrate till time expires, 

And learn to cherish and forgive.  

 

Author's Note

Iambic tetrameter. My favorite foot and meter :)

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

"When days are long like empty songs;
Will you then hum these tunes we weave?"

Abruptly made me feel woebegone :(

"We painted rhapsodies of dreams
Like murals on the walls of time."

Once again, Abdul's definition of beauty ;)

"We do not know what autumn brings;
For one more evening, let us live
And celebrate till time expires,
And learn to cherish and forgive"

Somehow I feel this one incomplete.. Maybe because I crave for more from the poem and it ended quickly, can't express it exactly, but nevermind.

Cupid bless you, bro :) Toda para ti? (It's Portuguese for 'What more can I say?'.. I use it often because it spells nice!)

[deeps]

I really like this write here.
Wonderful flow and rhyme scheme.

[FlawedByDesign]

Welcoming fall may be a sad things for some, seeing the summer takes its last stroll through the skies and hearts, but fall is beautiful. With all the red and brown hues; there's nothing like it :)

Once again you've adhered to the foot and the meter well (no wonder it is your favourite - hehe).

The only thing I can bring up is the 2nd stanza, lines 3-4-5.
"The sun entangled in their leaves;" - I presume the "their" would refer to autumn trees, but you do not introduce the subject prior; you do mention lawns, but I relate lawns to fields not trees, so there's a little disconnect for me here.

"When days are long like empty songs;
Will then you hum these tunes we weave?" - "Will then you hum" sounds very wrong in my opinion. I can see "Then, will you hum" or the best sounding to me, "Will you then hum" - once again just suggestions my friend :)

Nice write.